Painful Separations
by Neuropsych
Summary: (COMPLETE) The ties that bind are the ones that hurt the most when they're cut... (rated for language and possible violence)
1. 01

**Painful Separations**

Disclaimer: I don't own SG-1 or any characters recognizable from the show. Just those I created!

OOOOOOOOOO

The ringing telephone was a much-welcomed distraction from the paperwork in front of him, and Jack was practically smiling when he answered it.

"O'Neill."

"Jack?"

"Shawn?" Jack looked up at the wall clock in his office. Almost noon. Shawn never called him at the base. The smile faded. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"You sure?" Jack pressed. He didn't sound as if there were a catastrophe in the makings going on around him, but he also didn't sound completely positive that everything was okay. "No one's beating up on you?"

He heard the smile in Shawn's voice.

"No."

"Homesick?"

"No."

"Girl problems?"

"No."

"Are your mom and dad okay?" As far as he knew, they were still out of town.

"They're still out of town," Shawn confirmed a moment later. "They should be back tomorrow."

"Ian and River arguing?"

"No."

There was a slight hesitation this time, though, and Jack was skilled enough an interrogator to catch it.

"Are they okay?"

"River's fine…"

And they were beginning to narrow it down, now.

"And Ian?"

This time the hesitation was longer. And Jack pressed on with more questions.

"He failed a test?"

There was a snort on the other line.

"We just got our finals back. Ian aced everything."

"How did _you_ do?"

He had to ask.

"I'm fifth in the class."

"That's great, Shawn."

There was noticeable pride in both of their voices, now.

"River's right behind me."

"So academically, everything's fine?"

"Yeah."

"But…?"

There was a pause.

"I'm a little worried about Ian, Jack."

"Yeah? Is he in trouble?"

Like that would be out of the ordinary.

"No… he's just… acting a little… odd."

"How so?"

"I'm not sure," Shawn admitted, and Jack could hear the young man's frustration in his voice. "He's different than he was."

"He _was_ shot, Shawn," Jack reminded him. "Maybe it affected him more than he wants to admit."

"He's distracted," Shawn said. "And he's been short tempered lately."

"_Ian_?"

Jack couldn't hide the amusement in his voice, and Shawn realized how dumb that sounded, even as he'd said it. Ian was _always_ short tempered.

"More than usual," Shawn corrected.

"Towards you and River?"

"No. Just everyone else." There was a hesitation, and then, "When did Ian learn to speak Goa'uld?"

Jack frowned.

"He speaks Goa'uld?"

"Yeah. I heard him mumbling to himself the other day, and it sounded like Goa'uld."

Shawn would know, since he was one of the few people on Earth who spoke the language fluently.

"He spent time with Bra'tac, Shawn, maybe he picked some up. You know how he remembers things."

Shawn hadn't considered that, and it was obvious from the pause on the other end of the line that he was, then.

"That's true, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Jack smiled. "I'll tell you what… why don't I come up with a reason to come out and see you guys sometime soon? Then maybe I'll have a chance to see for myself what's going on. Maybe I can even pull Ian aside and see if there's something bothering him."

"He won't tell you. I already asked."

"Then I'll bring Sam."

Ian would tell Sam. He liked Jack – and Jack liked him – but he and Sam got along especially well.

"That'd be great," Shawn said. Not only could he pass the concern about Ian onto someone that the New Yorker might actually talk to, but he'd get a chance to see Sam and Jack – and most likely Jaffer.

"I'll talk to Sam and we'll figure out something," Jack promised. "Something soon."

"Okay, Jack."

"Anything else you need, Shawn? Care package? Writing materials? New underwear?"

Shawn chuckled – a sound that made Jack smile as well.

"No, I'm good, Jack. Thanks. Sorry if I interrupted anything."

"You didn't."

Just paperwork, and for that, Jack should be thanking _him_.

"I'll talk to you later."

"Be good."

"Always."

The line went dead, and Jack hung up the phone a moment later, feeling good. Shawn never seemed to mind coming to him when he had a problem, and Jack loved that. Even if the problem wasn't his own. He looked over at Jaffer, who had been napping, but had woken when the phone rang, and then he looked down at his unfinished paperwork.

"Why don't we go see Sam?"

Jaffer sat up and jumped off the sofa cheerfully.

Yup, he'd go visit Sam!


	2. 02

"Busy?"

Sam looked up from her notes and shook her head.

"Not too busy for you." She smiled when Jaffer stuck his nose into her hand in greeting, and she rubbed his ears. "Or for _you_."

Jack walked into the lab, and leaned against the huge table that was literally covered with all sorts of doodads and doohickeys that were whirring and buzzing, blinking and beeping, but his attention was completely on her just then.

She was in her 25th week, now – by his reckoning, and Doctor Sawyer's – and was definitely beginning to show. And even though she often lamented the disappearing waistline, Jack couldn't remember her ever looking better or lovelier. And he made sure she knew it. Constantly.

Sam looked up from Jaffer and saw him watching her, and her smile softened.

"What's up?" She asked. "Or did you just come to say hi?"

He frequently stopped in to say hi. But not this time.

"Guess who just called me."

"Shawn."

He couldn't help but look impressed.

"How did you know that?"

"I'm psychic."

Jack snorted, giving Sam a look that plainly said she'd better tell him or he was going to annoy her until she did. And she relented.

"He called here, first, and I'm the one that transferred him to you."

"Ah."

"Is he all right?"

She knew as well as Jack did, after all, that Shawn usually called them at home in the evenings when he wanted to talk.

"He's worried about Ian."

"Ian?"

"The black-haired kid that stayed at our house…"

Sam smiled.

"I know who he is, smart ass. What's wrong with him?"

Jack grinned, enjoying every chance he got to tease her.

"He's short-tempered, and seems distracted."

Sam waited for him to continue, but Jack smiled wryly, telling her without words that he didn't have anything to add.

"That's _it_?"

Jack shrugged.

"That's all Shawn mentioned. That and that he's heard him speaking Goa'uld a few times."

"Which he probably picked up from Bra'tac last month."

Jack nodded.

"That's what I told Shawn."

"And is he still worried?"

"He hadn't thought about Ian learning from Bra'tac," Jack told her, shrugging, "But I told him we might try and find a reason to stop by and make sure everything is okay."

"You mean _visit_," she corrected him, smiling. "Otherwise, Ian might think we're checking up on him."

"Exactly."

"I'm not doing anything tomorrow that I can't postpone – if you can come up with a reason to visit."

"I'll think of something," he promised.

"Good." She took one of her smaller devices away from him – he'd picked it up off the table while they were talking and was bouncing it in his hand without really noticing what he was doing. "I'll see you later."

"Kicking me out already?"

"Unless you want to stick around and help me test the conductivity of the new metronomer cable I'm trying to develop?"

Jack shrugged – even though he didn't have a clue what she was talking about – and she knew it.

"I'd love to stick around and help you play with your… _cable thingies_… but I have paperwork to do."

She smiled and shooed him away, and Jack left, with Jaffer right beside him. _He_ didn't want to test the conductivity of her cable, either.

OOOOOOOO

"Class dismissed," Captain Bruce Patrick announced. Before the class of twenty-two students could rise to their feet, however, he spoke up once more. "Cadet Brooks? A word, please."

Ian scowled and remained in his seat as he waited for the others to file out. Had it been a normal class of regular students, there would have been a lot of good-natured bantering towards a student who was called on to remain behind for a word with the teacher. Of course, the Air Force academy wasn't a regular place, and the students were not ordinary. They knew better than to tease Ian in front of the Captain – and most of them knew better than to tease him, period – even though all of them were older than he was, and many of them were only a few months from graduating. Brooks' reputation preceded him.

When the class had left, Ian stood up and walked towards the front of the room, leaving his stuff on the desk behind him, and Patrick leaned against his desk, watching him for a long moment. Ian didn't say a word, waiting to hear what he had done wrong. It didn't take long.

"Mr. Brooks," Captain Patrick said, softly. "You know I pulled several strings to allow you into this class…"

"Yes, Sir," Ian said, nodding. "And I appreciate it."

He _did_, too. The advanced Engineering class was almost exclusively reserved for upperclassmen. Ian was the only freshman in it, and had – in the month since he'd been back to the school after being injured during Thanksgiving break – managed to catch up on the work he'd missed from the first half of the class.

"Then I would appreciate it if you wouldn't doodle during my lectures."

Ian had the grace to look embarrassed. He hadn't actually intended to be disrespectful – he almost liked Captain Patrick, and definitely didn't have any reason to make him mad – he'd just had the paper in front of him, and had been working on a problem that had been in his head for a few days, now. Definitely a result of the learning device that the Ancients had tricked him into sticking his head into.

"I'm sorry, Sir."

"May I see what you were doing?"

Ian hesitated, but the request wasn't _really_ a request. It was an order, thinly veiled as request. Patrick wanted to know what had distracted Ian enough that he wasn't paying attention in the class he'd worked so hard to get him into.

"Yes, Sir."

Ian turned and went back to his desk, pulled the drawing out of the notebook, and brought it to the Captain, who took it and looked down at it. It was an incredibly detailed and complicated drawing of what looked to the Captain like some kind of engine of some sort – but nothing he'd ever seen before.

"What is this?"

Ian shrugged.

"It's just a design I've been thinking about for a while…"

"Is it an engine?"

The Captain _was_ an engineer, after all – and one of the best in the United States. Good enough that Samantha Carter had tried long ago to lure him away from teaching at the Air Force academy to work with her – although he'd declined. He liked teaching.

Ian nodded.

"It's not done, though, and I'm not sure what it'll run on… if _anything_."

Captain Patrick looked back down at the paper, shaking his head. It was impressive.

"In the future, Cadet, I'd appreciate it if you would keep your extracurricular studies out of my classroom."

"Yes, Sir."

Patrick handed the drawing back to Ian.

"If you find yourself needing another perspective on this thing, feel free to bring it to me. I'd be happy to give you whatever help I can."

Surprised, and unable to hide it, Ian gave the Captain a very rare smile as he took his paper back.

"Thank you, Sir." He might even take him up on it – if he had any idea what it was he was trying to draw.

"Dismissed, Cadet."

"Yes, Sir."


	3. 03

A piercing howl jerked Jack out of a sound sleep. He jolted upright, turning immediately to Sam – only to find she was just sitting up as well, her eyes wide with shock and worry at the unexpected noise. They both looked at Jaffer, who was at the foot of the bed, and howling like someone was stabbing him with a red-hot poker.

"Jaffer!"

At first Jack thought the dog was having a nightmare or something. Dogs dreamed, after all. He'd seen Jaffer's legs twitching in his sleep – presumably he was chasing rabbits or something – what was to stop them from having bad dreams as well as good? But the lab was wide-awake. He ignored Jack – and Sam – and stood up on the bed, a long, low howl the likes of which neither had ever heard escaping from his throat. Followed immediately by another – this one higher, and more agonized.

"What's wrong with him?" Sam asked, reaching for the dog.

Jack was already there, kneeling next to him, running his hands over the lab's body, looking for a source of the pain. From the noises he was making, there was something terribly wrong, but Jack couldn't even find a bump. Whatever it was, it was internal. Which meant Monica would have to find it.

Jack rolled off the bed reaching for his pants.

"I'm going to take him to the vet," he told Sam, unnecessarily. She could see the fear in his eyes.

"I'm coming, too."

Of course she was. He nodded, and pulled a shirt on, not bothering to button it, and slid his feet into a pair of shoes while running his hands along Jaffer once more, murmuring reassurances to the lab while Sam dressed. Then, with an ease born only of the worry and fear he had that there was something seriously wrong with him, Jack scooped Jaffer's big heavy body up into his arms and carried him out to the truck while Sam opened the doors for him, and closed them behind them.

"Monica won't be there yet," she said as Jack put Jaffer on the jump seat behind the driver's seat. A quick look at her watch told her it wasn't even 5 AM, yet.

"Barry will."

Barry Michaels was Monica's nighttime vet. He was in charge of the place when Dr. Ray left for the day.

Jack started the truck, and pulled out of the driveway, Jaffer howling agonizingly while Sam stroked him tenderly, just as worried as Jack was.

OOOOOOOOOo

"What's wrong with him?"

The staff at the vet's office was skeletal this time of morning, but they all were on hand when Jack carried Jaffer in, and they all knew the lab (and Colonel and Major O'Neill) well.

"No clue," Jack said, panting slightly. Worried or not, Jaffer weighed a ton.

"Bring him in the back," Michaels ordered, leading the way to the examination room, where Jack set Jaffer down on a padded table and Michaels grabbed a stethoscope.

A quick initial check showed nothing wrong. Jaffer's heart and lungs were functioning fine, and his stomach was making all the normal sounds that they were supposed to be. Michaels checked a urine sample from the lab, but there wasn't any blood, and none of the immediate tests came back with anything negative in them.

Monica Ray had been called, but even she – who knew Jaffer almost as well as Jack did, and certainly knew his inner workings even better than Jack – couldn't seem to find a reason for the sudden alarm. The dog's howls had steadily faded into whimpers thru out the examination, and Jack found these sounds to be as heartbreaking as the earlier ones had been frightening.

They'd been at the vet's office almost two hours, and still didn't have a clue what was wrong. He wasn't in pain. There was no whining when they touched him – and they'd ran their hands all over him, looking. There wasn't anything broken – they'd done x-rays, just in case. And an ultrasound proved his organs were all where they were supposed to be, and doing what they were supposed to be doing.

Due to her pregnancy, Sam had been ordered off her feet and into a chair, where she'd watched as Jack hovered anxiously while the vets worked on Jaffer, but she would every now and then get up and pace, or come over and wrap her arms around Jack to keep him from pacing and for a bit of mutual support.

"I can't find anything wrong with him," Monica finally told them, shrugging helplessly. "Everything's working fine."

"Then why is he acting like that?"

She shrugged again, and ran her hand along the lab's glossy black hide. They'd given him a mild sedative when he'd first been admitted into the office – because some of the tests required him to hold still – but he was coming out of that fine, too. He was just whining.

"I don't know, Jack. I've never seen him act like this, either. I've never even _heard_ of-"

Sam's cell phone rang, interrupting them, and Sam reached for her purse.

"Sorry."

She grabbed the phone and opened it, so distracted that she didn't even look to see who it was.

"Hello?"

"Major O'Neill?"

It was Hammond.

"Yes, Sir."

She looked at the clock on the wall, frowning. They hadn't called the base – and weren't late for work, yet. She wondered what the General was calling for. Certainly he couldn't have heard about Jaffer's odd condition.

"Where are you?"

"At the vet's, Sir."

Jack looked over at her, realizing that it had to be Hammond and wondering the same thing that Sam had.

There was a pause.

"Is Jaffer all right?"

"They can't find anything wrong with him, Sir," she told him. "We were going to call-"

"Is Colonel O'Neill available, Sam?" Hammond interrupted. His voice had an odd quality to it that she didn't recognize. Add to it the fact that he'd called her by name, and she was suddenly certain something was wrong.

"Yes, Sir."

She handed the phone to Jack, who caught the concern in her expression.

"Hello?"

"Jack… I just got a call from the Commandant of the Air Force Academy. He's been trying to find you for the last hour."

"What's wrong, Sir? Is it Shawn?" Jack's concern was just as palpable as Sam's had been.

"Shawn's fine, Jack," Hammond said. "But he's going to need you." There was a slight pause, as if Hammond didn't know how to say what he had to say. "This morning – very early – the plane that was carrying Dotty and James Adams crashed on take off from John F. Kennedy Airport. There were no survivors."

Jack was stunned. Before he could say anything, though, there was yet another mournful howl from the lab on the examination table.


	4. 04

"Are you _sure_?"

Sam knew immediately something was definitely wrong. Both by the way Jack had paled and by the way his voice broke in the middle of the question. Her hand went to the small of his back – for physical and moral support – and she gave him a questioning look.

"It's on the news, Jack." Hammond answered. "They're not releasing names of victims, yet, prior to next of kin notification. The Commandant wasn't sure if you wanted to be the one to tell Shawn, or if you wanted him to, so-"

"I'll tell him, Sir." Jack interrupted, reaching out and putting his arm around Sam and pulling her closer. "We'll go there right now."

"I'll let him know."

Hammond hung up, and Jack closed the phone.

"What is it?" Sam asked. "What's happened?"

It took Jack a second to get his voice back. His throat was suddenly closed tight.

"Dotty and James were killed this morning."

"What? How?" As far as Sam knew they weren't even in town.

"Their plane crashed at JFK airport."

"Oh my God…" Sam hugged him close and Jack held her tightly, ever mindful of the baby, but holding her as closely as he dared. "Shawn doesn't know?"

She'd picked that much up from the one-sided conversation Jack had had with Hammond.

He shook his head.

"I'm going to go tell him."

"_We_…" Sam corrected.

He nodded, and brushed a kiss against her cheek, and then let her go, wiping his eyes.

"Monica?"

She'd heard everything, of course, and she gave him a sympathetic look. She knew Shawn – he'd been in here with Jack a lot during the early days of Jaffer's life when the puppy was getting into everything and making almost weekly visits to her office.

"Jaffer can go with you, Jack," she said. "We'll run tests on the blood samples I took, but you should take him. I'll let you know if we find anything."

He was going to need the support – or Shawn would. Besides, she didn't think Jaffer would allow himself to be left behind – not unless he was _really_ ill, which he wasn't.

Jack nodded, and ran his hand along Jaffer's jowls and neck, and the lab turned his sorrowful brown eyes on Jack, who felt a crushing wave of grief come over him suddenly. Only the fact that he had to figure out how to tell Shawn what had happened before someone saw it on the news kept him from breaking down completely – although tears were once more coursing down his cheeks. Jaffer whined mournfully, and Sam gathered both of them into her arms, hugging them both for a long moment.

"We'd better get going," Jack finally whispered, pulling away.

"I'll drive."

He nodded, and dug into his pocket for his keys.

"Give Shawn my love," Monica said as they all left the examination room, Jaffer trailing behind them with his head down low and his tail drooping.

OOOOOO

"What do you have there, Ian?"

Ian looked over at Shawn.

"It's called a _letter_, Adams. Perhaps you've heard of them? People send them to other people – you should get someone to read yours to you sometime."

River chuckled.

"Ignore him, Shawn," the blonde cadet advised. "It's from _Cassie_, and he's not sure how to answer it."

"Really?" Shawn grinned, and gave his roommate a sly look, that only made Ian scowl. "What does Cassie want?"

"If you _must_ live vicariously through me and my personal mail, she wants to know if I'll take her to a dance on Valentine's Day at her school. Some Spring Formal or something."

"Ooooh…" Shawn had to dodge a pillow that Ian flung at him. "So?"

"So, what?"

River laughed and tossed Ian's pillow back at him.

"I think he's asking if you're panning on taking her…?"

"Why don't _you_ take her?" Ian asked the blonde cadet.

"I would – but she didn't send _me_ the letter…" He shrugged. "She's pretty, though, and nice. If _I_ were you, I wouldn't be saying no."

"Yeah, well… you're _not_ me."

"Thank God."

"Fuck you."

River grinned again, and flipped Ian the bird, which made the New Yorker smile. He put the letter back into the envelope and tucked it into his Physics textbook. Not that he needed to read it again to remember what it said, but he knew he'd want to anyways, and figured he'd just be pissed with himself if he didn't keep it close.

"We're going to be late for class if you don't get going," Shawn reminded him, then, straightening his own uniform and making sure the seams and folds were all properly lined up.

"You guys can go ahead," Ian said, hopping down off his bed. "I don't need nursemaids to show me the way."

"No," River said, "What you need is a com-"

A knock on the closed door of the room interrupted them, and Ian went over and answered it. One of the seniors was standing there, looking perfectly groomed and tailored – all except for a bruise on his cheek.

"What do you want?" Ian asked.

"Screw you, Brooks," the senior said. "The Commandant wants to see Adams in his office immediately."

Ian turned to look at Shawn, and then back to the senior.

"Why?"

"I didn't ask."

There was a sullenness in his tone that Shawn couldn't help but smile at. This cadet had tried to take Ian on in a self-defense class – claiming that it was time someone taught the arrogant bastard a lesson – and Ian had promptly taken him to the mat. Repeatedly. And not at all gently.

"What did you do, Adams?" Ian asked, shutting the door on the senior cadet – a move deliberately designed to piss the older guy off.

Shawn shrugged.

"I can't think of anything… now, if it were _you_ being sent for, I wouldn't even have to wonder…"

"Screw you, Adams."

Shawn laughed, and opened the door. A scowling senior cadet was still standing there.

"He _knows_ the way, shit for brains," Ian told him.

"I was told to make sure he came immediately."

"He's coming," River said, walking over and leaning against the doorframe. "Get the hell out of here before I decide to add to the collection on your face."

The senior turned a brilliant shade of red – it was one thing for Brooks to goad him; everyone knew Brooks was an arrogant sonofabitch anyways – but it was another thing completely for the easy-going Californian to do it. Unable to think of anything to say that wouldn't make him look stupid, the cadet spun on his heels and headed back down the hall. He'd done what he'd been ordered to. As far as he was concerned, all three of them could get hit by a passing turnip truck.

Ian snorted softly in amusement.

"If the Commandant gives you any trouble, just blame whatever it is on me," he told Shawn.

The younger cadet grinned, and slapped him on the back.

"Probably wants to give me a medal for putting up with your crap for so long."

With that, he headed out the door, and Ian and River gathered their books and headed for their first class of the day.


	5. 05

Going to the Commandant's office was a lot like going to the Principal's office. There was a main office, complete with secretary, and an oak door that led to the large, roomy office of the Commandant. The secretary gave Shawn a look he couldn't decipher, but waved him right through, and the cadet double checked his uniform and then opened the door. And found Jack and Sam standing there with the Commandant.

Shawn started to smile, ready to make a quip about Jack coming so soon after he'd called, but he stopped before he could even open his mouth. Something was wrong. The room was too quiet, and the mood was too somber, and when Shawn came into the room and got closer, he could see that Jack's eyes were red and watery looking – almost like he'd been crying – and Sam had about as bleak an expression on her face as he'd ever seen. Even Jaffer seemed to be drooping.

"Jack?"

"I'll leave you alone, Colonel," the Commandant said, softly.

"Thank you, Sir."

The General rested his hand lightly on Shawn's shoulder for just a moment as he passed – an action that really had Shawn's worried – and then closed the door behind him as he left.

"What's wrong, Jack?"

"Sit down, Shawn."

Since every movie and story he'd ever read always had bad news coming after that particular statement, Shawn couldn't help but feel a stab of fear. What could have happened that had both Sam and Jack so upset? So _seriously_ upset?

Almost numb, he sat down in the leather-upholstered chair that sat across form the Commandant's desk, and watched warily as Jack came over.

"What's going on, Jack?"

Up close, Jack looked even worse than he did from a distance. His cheeks were damp – a sure sign that he'd been crying – and his eyes were so sad it made Shawn want to reach out and comfort him.

"I have some bad news for you, Shawn…"

God, even his voice was broken.

"What?"

"There was a plane crash…" Jack stopped, swallowing hard, and kneeling down in front of Shawn's chair like he did when the young man was a boy and Jack was trying to explain something difficult to him. "Your…" Tears were welling up in Jack's eyes, now, but he swallowed the lump in his throat. Shawn deserved a better job than Jack was doing. "Your mom and dad's plane crashed in New York while it was taking off…" His eyes were on Shawn's now. "They didn't make it…"

He stared at Jack, certain he'd heard him wrong.

"Didn't make it…?"

Jack nodded, and now Shawn could see that the tears were coming down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Shawn…"

"But…"

Shawn looked over at Sam, who was softly sobbing – although she was trying to hold it back.

"But… they're supposed to be back today…"

"I know, Shawn."

It had to be a mistake. It had to be. His mom was an alien for crying out loud. Aliens didn't die in plane crashes. They… well he didn't know _how_ they died, exactly, but they didn't die in plane crashes.

"You're wrong…"

He had to be wrong. Jack had been wrong before, right?

Jack shook his head.

"I'm not. I talked to the Airlines guy myself on the way here. He confirmed it…"

"You _have_ to be wrong, Jack…" Shawn said, knowing even as he said it, that he wasn't wrong. "You have to be…"

"I wish I was…"

He put his hand on Shawn's knee, tears falling freely now as he watched Shawn deal with the toughest news he'd ever hear in his life. At least Jack hoped it was.

"She _can't_ be dead… she's…"

Jack's grip on Shawn's leg was so hard that it was actually hurting him, but the cadet was so numb he didn't even notice.

"The Commandant is going to put you on leave from school for a while…"

Shawn shook his head as the realization of what Jack had just told him sank in, slowly, and the shock was replaced by an emptiness that he'd never felt before, and an ache that hurt so bad he was having trouble breathing.

Watching him as closely as he had been, Jack didn't miss the way the boy suddenly paled, or the hurt in those familiar eyes. Shawn lowered his head, and a tear fell, landing on the back of Jack's hand.

"I don't have anyplace to go, Jack…"

God, it hurt him to say that. Hurt him to the very core to admit aloud that Jack had to be right. His folks were dead. The two people who had always been there for him – for his entire life – weren't there for him anymore. More tears followed the first, although they were silent tears, because he couldn't get enough breath to sob – he could barely get enough to keep from passing out, and even then he was feeling light-headed and dizzy.

Sam came over to kneel beside Jack, her hand reaching for Shawn's.

"We're going to take you home with us, Shawn."

"You _can't_," he said, shaking his head, but not looking up at them. It took too much effort to raise his head. "You have too much to-"

"We _want_ you to come home with us," Jack told him, reaching up with both his hands and cupping Shawn's face, forcing him to look at him. "I need to have you close to me right now… I…"

He broke off, his voice cracking once more as he tried to explain to Shawn how important it was to him that he was where Jack could help him deal with this. Of course, neither of them was dealing with it well just then, but the loss was so fresh to Jack, too, and he'd loved Dotty. Not as much as Shawn did, of course, but it was love all the same.

Shawn started crying, then, as he saw the agony in Jack's expression echoing the ache in his own heart. His face held so tightly in Jack's hands, he couldn't lower his head to hide the tears, but he didn't have to. Jack pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him like he had every other time Shawn had ever needed to be held, and holding him tightly. An instant later, Shawn was aware that Sam had wrapped her arms around both of them as well, and her tears mingled with their own as the three of them cried together.

Standing guard over them from a corner of the room, Jaffer watched, his tail and head low, and a soft whimpering noise escaping his throat every now and then, unheard by anyone over the sound of their sobs.


	6. 06

_Author's Note: Yes, Shawn knows Jack is his real father. Jaffer's true nature isn't something I'm ready to reveal just yet. No crying at work! Or at least hide it so no one knows you're crying, or they'll all be worried about you (it's probably just as bad as uncontrolled laughter for no apparent reason) I think that covers all the questions! (Parents should be screening my stories for young children – especially since they're labeled PG-13 – to make sure they're suitable for them to read)_

OOOOOOOO

None of them knew how long they were like that. They continued holding Shawn while he cried himself out, and only released their tight grip on him when he started to pull away. With his eyes red and puffy, and his face flushed and soaked with tears, he looked far more like the little boy he used to be than the young man he had begun to grow into. Especially with the lost look in his eyes when he looked at Jack.

"What do I do, now, Jack?" He whispered, brokenly. "I don't know what to-"

Jack didn't have a tissue to give him, so he wiped the boy's cheeks with his thumbs as he took his face in his palms once more.

"You don't do anything, Shawn," he murmured, his brown eyes forcing Shawn to look at him. Jack's eyes were just as red, even though his tears had stopped sooner. "There are some decisions you'll need to make, but none you need to make now. For now, we're going to take you home with us, and be with you…" he trailed off, his hands still holding Shawn tight enough that the cadet was forced to maintain eye contact. "You're not going to have to deal with this alone. I promise you."

Shawn nodded, and fresh tears trickled down his cheeks, soaking Jack's hands. Sam reached out and ran her fingers lightly through his hair – another gesture that was left over from when he was a much younger boy.

"I'll go let the others know what happened, and get some clothes for you."

He nodded again, and Jack pulled him back into his arms, holding him tight and making no indication that he was ever going to let him go. And Shawn went willingly, leaning against Jack and taking the comfort offered in those strong arms that held him so tenderly.

Sam looked over at Jaffer, and frowned, noticing that he was drooping – almost as if he understood what was happening. Of course, nothing would surprise her as far as the black lab was concerned, so maybe he did. Or maybe he was picking up on the mood in the room. She went over and knelt in front of the dog – kneeling wasn't nearly as easy now as it had been before she'd become pregnant – and took his head in her hands, caressing the velvety ears.

"It'll be okay, Little Man," she whispered to him, resting her damp cheek against his jowls.

Jaffer whined softly, and moved just enough to lick her face. Not the exuberant licking of a mischievous dog, but a more sedate touch – almost a caress. She rubbed his ears once more, pressed a kiss against the top of his head, and stood up – using him to brace herself just a little. When she headed for the door, it was hardly a surprise that he followed her.

The Commandant was waiting for her in the reception area of the main office. Concern and sympathy were dominant in his expression and Sam knew that was because the man actually cared about the students he was in charge of. He knew all of them by name – even though he never called them by anything but their surnames – and knew most of their stories as well as he knew his own.

"How's he doing, Major?"

She shrugged.

"He's pretty broken up, Sir. We're going to take him home with us."

Since that was pretty much what he'd expected was going to happen, the Commandant nodded.

"I'll put him on a temporary leave."

"Thank you, Sir. I was wondering if you could have his roommates summoned here? Or better yet, to their room? I need to let them know what's happened, and I need to pack some things for Shawn."

"I'll do it immediately," he said, waving over the secretary and asking her to take care of it. Then he turned back to Sam. "Make sure you let him know that if there's anything any of us can do…"

She nodded, and gave him a weak smile.

"I will, Sir."

She left the office, then, and headed for Shawn's room, with Jaffer walking beside her.

OOOOOOOOO

"Cadets Brooks and Hayden…"

Ian and River both looked up from the test they were taking. Actually, Ian had finished the test and was doodling on a piece of scratch paper, while River was just about finished with his own.

"Yes, Sir?"

The instructor – a Lieutenant – gestured for them to come to his desk, and Ian scowled, wondering if he'd been busted again. Of course, that wouldn't have been any reason to call Hayden, too.

Both Cadets stood up, and walked over to the desk, and the Lieutenant eyed them, wondering what they'd done wrong.

"The Commandant has requested you both go to your room."

"Sir?"

"I don't know _why_, Hayden," the Lieutenant said, frowning as he realized River was asking him why. "In the _Military_ we obey the orders we're given, not question them. You'd do well to learn that."

"Fu-"

"Come on, Ian."

River grabbed his roommate by the arm before he could get himself in trouble coming to his defense, and Ian allowed himself to be steered out of the room. Once the door was closed behind them Ian tossed a contemptuous look back at the classroom.

"Pompous bastard. 'In the _military_, we obey the orders we're given, not question them…' He can kiss my ass."

Hayden grinned, amused at the uncanny accuracy in Ian's mimicry of the Lieutenant.

"Wonder what the Commandant wants us in our room for…"

Ian shrugged.

"Probably some kind of inspection or something, who knows?"

When they reached their room, though, it wasn't the Commandant that was waiting for them, it was Sam. With Jaffer. She was going through their closet, while the black lab had jumped up onto Shawn's bed and was watching her somberly.

"Major O'Neill…" River said, curious what was going on, but never able to miss a chance to make a crack about something like this. "If you want to borrow some underwear you might want to ask first – so I can get you the clean ones…"

Ian chuckled, but when Sam turned to them they both stopped smiling. She looked like she'd been crying.

"Sam? What's wrong?"

"It's Shawn's folks," Sam said. She gestured for them to sit down, and explained to them what had happened.


	7. 07

"I feel like I'm going to throw up…"

Ian looked over at River, and thought that his roommate did look pale and sick – even under his almost perpetual tan. It was how he, himself, felt as well. Of course, River knew Dotty and James far better than Ian did – he'd been to their house for the Thanksgiving holiday, while Ian had been to Sam and Jack's. He'd had much more of a chance to get to know them and feel close to them. Ian had only met James once – and although Dotty was a slightly different story, he still hadn't known her all _that_ well.

"This is my fault," Ian said, softly, feeling like he'd been kicked in the gut repeated.

Sam shook her head. Standing in front of Shawn's bed where the two of them had been seated, she'd been able to watch their reactions to the news, and both had seemed to take it hard. Of course, after so many months together, the three of them – Shawn, River and Ian – had probably come to feel a little like brothers, so it was hardly surprising. Especially River, who had been to the Adams' house over Thanksgiving.

"It's no one's fault, Ian," she said, reaching out and brushing her hand along his dark hair. "It was an accident. The de-icer they were using on the wings couldn't keep up and the flaps stuck."

"They wouldn't have been on that plane if it wasn't for me," Ian told her. "I was the one who convinced Shawn that a trip to New York would be the coolest present he could give them for their anniversary. Shit, I even got them the tickets to my mom's performance – pretty much forcing them to go even if they didn't want to."

"They wanted to go," River told his friend. "You know it. This isn't your fault." He turned to Sam. "How's Shawn doing?"

She shook her head, still touching Ian's hair and debating whether he'd allow her to hug him or if he'd pull away. He was so hard to read, sometimes, and other times, he was like an open book.

"We're going to take him with us – probably for at least a couple days, maybe longer. Which was why I was looking for his clothes."

River stood up.

"I'll pack them for you, Major." He knew where they were better than she did.

Sam nodded and sat down next to Ian, taking River's spot as the two watched him grab up Shawn's small duffle bag and start going through the dresser drawers that were assigned to him.

"This isn't your fault," she told Ian.

He wouldn't meet her eyes, which told Sam that he didn't believe her, and she saw a tear drop onto Ian's leg. She put her arm around him, and he stiffened, but he didn't pull away. Instead, he leaned into her touch, resting his head on her shoulder, still not looking at her.

"It's not, Ian," she repeated. "No more than it's Shawn's for giving them the plane tickets, or Jack's for telling them to have fun when they left."

"It's not the same, Sam," Ian told her, but he didn't argue with her.

"Here you go, Major," River said, handing her the now somewhat filled bag. "There's enough to last him a few days, anyways."

Sam nodded, and stood up, releasing Ian gently. He didn't look up at her.

"Thank you, River."

"Can I go with you?" The Californian asked. "I'd like to talk to him before he goes…"

"Of course." She looked at Ian. "Ian?"

He shook his head, looking down at Jaffer, who had cuddled up against him from the other side when Sam had put her arm around him.

"You go on. He won't want to see me…"

"Ian."

"_I_ wouldn't want to, if I were him."

"It's-"

River touched her arm, cutting Sam off. When she looked at him, he shook his head, telling her silently that there was absolutely nothing she could say to get him to move. As much as she wanted to prove him wrong, she didn't really have the time to. Instead, she sighed, and leaned over and pressed a kiss against the top of Ian's head, almost right where Jack had tried to scalp him with the shovel only a month or so before.

"If you need us, Ian, you know the number."

He nodded, still looking at Jaffer, or his hand, or at the floor. Anywhere but at her.

"Thanks, Sam." His voice was a mere whisper, but she could hear the hurt in it.

Sam and River headed for the door, and Jaffer left Ian's side to join them. When they were out the door and heading down the hallway, she looked over at River.

"_Was_ it his idea for them to go?"

River nodded.

"Shawn was trying to come up with the perfect vacation to send them on for their anniversary, and Ian talked it up so much, he was pretty much forced to send them there – especially after he said he could get tickets to that show – do you know how much one of them goes for? But it's not his fault."

"No, it's not his fault."

They walked into the Commandant's office without stopping to talk to the other people in the office – which included the Commandant himself. Jack wasn't holding Shawn when they walked in, but the two of them were close to each other, and Shawn's eyes were red and wet.

"Where's Ian?" Jack asked.

"He's not coming," Sam said.

"He's got it into his head that it's his fault," River added.

"He's _right_."

They all looked at Shawn, who was looking down at his hands. The younger cadet hurt so badly just then that he was glad for an excuse to lash out at someone else. Someone he could turn on and blame this whole thing on. Where a moment before it hadn't been anyone's fault – it'd been a horrible accident – now it was. He'd heard River's statement and had immediately grabbed onto it, taking it as truth.

"Shawn…"

"It was _his_ idea to send them there. _He's_ the reason they were on the plane in the first place. None of this would have happened if he'd have kept his mouth shut. It's…" Shawn trailed off, anger gone as quickly as it had flared up. He didn't have room for more than one emotion at a time in his soul just then, even as empty as it seemed, and the loss was taking the foreground once more. Tears welled up yet again.

Jack pulled him to his feet, and hugged him once more, looking over the boy's shoulder at Sam, who was watching helplessly.

"Let's get you in the truck, Shawn…" he said. "Sam…?"

She stepped forward, taking Jack's place as the one to support Shawn, wrapping her arms around him warmly.

"Come on, Shawn…"

With one arm still around him, she guided him to the door, Jaffer following.

"I should go talk to Ian," Jack said.

River shook his head.

"He won't listen to you, Colonel. Not right now. He's in one of those modes where no one or nothing gets through." The blonde handed Jack Shawn's duffle bag. "You need to take care of Shawn. I'll talk to Ian later, when he's over the shock. You try to do the same to Shawn…"

Jack hesitated, but nodded. He took the bag.

"I'll do that."

"Tell him we love him, okay? Just… don't use those words."

"I will, River."

Jack left the room, too, and River sighed.


	8. 08

Later, if anyone had asked him how he'd spent that first day, Shawn wouldn't have been able to answer. In a grief-induced haze, he went home with Jack and Sam, his eyes closed most of the way and his arms wrapped around Jaffer, who was sitting in the back of the extended cab of the truck with him, and his face buried in the lab's silky black fur.

First they put him on the couch, bundled up in blankets because he was cold and given a hot cup of tea that he didn't drink. Sam sat with him, close enough that if he needed a shoulder to cry on – and he did twice – that she was there to give it to him.

While Sam stayed with Shawn, Jack made several phone calls. First to Hammond, telling him that he and Sam weren't going to be in that day – and probably for a couple more at least. Hammond, of course, told them to take as long as they needed and told Jack that if there was anything that he could do to let him know.

The next call went to James' folks, who didn't live in Colorado. The airliner had only recently contacted them with the news, and they were still in numbed shock themselves. Jack told them that he had Shawn, and made sure that they had his address and phone number. They would be in town as soon as they could catch a flight – but it'd probably be the next day. Which was fine, because that would give Shawn a little more time to get over his own shock. They said they'd also call the Adams' lawyer, to find out what – if anything – Dotty and James had done to prepare for such an event, and would give the lawyer Jack's number, if that was all right. Which it was.

Then Jack went and set up the spare room – which was still a lab for Sam but could easily be converted into a guest room – as they'd done for Ian for Thanksgiving. He pulled the folding bed out and made it up and put Shawn's things in the dresser that was acting as a stand for one of Sam's computer monitors. Then he went back out into the living room, where Sam was holding Shawn, although he was simply staring at a wall, and not actually looking at anything.

They both looked at him when he came over and sat down on the other side of Sam, and Jaffer hopped up beside him, burying his nose in Jack's side, silently asking for a little attention of his own. Cuddling the black lab, Jack looked over at Shawn, his brown eyes concerned and sad.

"I talked to Randy…" That was Shawn's grandfather.

Shawn nodded, but didn't say anything.

"He and Mae will be down tomorrow sometime."

Another nod.

"They'd be here today but they probably won't be able to get a flight – although he said they'd try."

"Okay."

"Is there anything I can get you, Shawn?" He asked, wishing there was more he could do. "Anyone you'd rather see otherthan me and Sam?"

Shawn shook his head, his hold on Sam tightening almost imperceptibly – although she noticed, of course.

"I just want to stay here…"

Sam tightened her own hold on him, and his head went back to her shoulder and his eyes closed, effectively blocking out the whole world, although not the huge empty spot in his heart. Jack reached over and put his hand on the top of his head for just a moment, as comforting an embrace as he could give with Sam between the two of them, and then simply sat there with him, holding Jaffer and being close by in case he was needed.

OOOOOOOOO

"It's _not_ your fault."

Ian didn't even bother to turn over. He'd been sprawled on his bed most of the day, looking up at the ceiling of the room and ignoring everything that was going on around him. Including his roommate, who every now and then would try to strike up the same conversation with him.

"Go away, Hayden."

"Ian…"

"Seriously, Hayden, I don't want to talk about it. Just leave me alone. Please."

This was one of the things that had River the most concerned. Not only had Ian been unfailingly polite in his efforts to ignore him, he'd also kept his temper the entire day – even though at one point River had lost his and called him every name under the sun. And Ian had ignored it. Hadn't even flipped him off.

"We should talk about this…"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I could call-"

"Don't call anyone. Just go away."

"Maybe-"

"River, go find something to do."

_That_ had been the kicker. River. Ian so rarely called River by his first name that half the time the Californian wasn't even sure Ian even _knew_ his first name. Even with that perfect memory of his. And when he did, it was only for special reasons. Like when he was sorry – or depressed.

Giving vent to a loud, frustrated sigh, River did as he was told, leaving Ian alone again and heading off for dinner. He'd bring back a tray for his roommate – like he had for lunch as well – and maybe this time he'd even be able to convince Ian to eat. Maybe he'd threaten to call his mom and dad or something.

Ian heard the door close, and with a sigh of his own, closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep once more and block out the world for a little while. And, surprisingly, he did.

_He felt him almost immediately, as if he was waiting for him to fall asleep. Ian opened his eyes and looked around, but didn't see anyone, even though he knew he was there._

_"I'm sorry about what happened, Alexander…"_

_"It's not your fault."_

_The voice was filled with sorrow, and Ian could easily picture Alexander's face with an equally sorrowful expression._

_"Did she ascend?"_

_He didn't know exactly what was involved with ascending, but thanks to the learning device, he at least knew it had been an option for Dotty. Although he hadn't thought about it until just then._

_"No."_

_"She_ could _have, though, right?"_

_"She could have, but_ James _couldn't. There wasn't time to show him, and she wouldn't leave him."_

_"What?"_

_The sorrow in Alexander's voice was even more pronounced, then, and Ian felt bad for pressing the question, but the Ancient answered it anyways._

_"James Adams is the only man my daughter ever loved. She didn't want to remain without him."_

_"That's nut… she sacrificed so much for love?"_

_"You're sacrificing your own happiness for the happiness of someone you love. Isn't it the same thing?"_

_Ian scowled, despite his guilt._

_"That's different. It's nowhere near the same scale."_

_"Probably not," Alexander agreed. "But it is the same thing."_

_Ian shrugged. He wasn't going to argue._

_"What happened was an accident."_

_"I gave them the-"_

_"It doesn't matter, Ian," Alexander said, interrupting. "There's something I need you to do. And I need it done as soon as possible."_

_"Whatever you need," Ian said, immediately. He owed him that much, after all._

_Alexander started talking fast, knowing there wasn't a lot of time, and knowing that he'd never need to repeat himself. Then he was gone._

An hour after he left the room, River returned, carrying a tray. He looked over at the bunk above his own, and to his surprise, found it empty.


	9. 09

The Adams' house was completely dark – except for a porch light – when the taxi pulled up in front of it.

"This the place, kid?"

Ian nodded, and handed the cab driver a twenty.

"Thanks."

"Want me to wait around?" The driver asked, resetting the meter.

"Nah, I don't know how long I'll be."

He stood on the sidewalk and watched the cab pull away, and then turned and headed for the house. Dotty and James didn't have any pets, so he didn't need to worry about that, and the spare key to the front door was right where Alexander had said it would be; under the third rock around the corner to the left.

Feeling like an intruder – mainly because he was – Ian let himself into the house and closed and locked the door behind him. Then he turned on the hall light, and headed for the basement stairs, which were also exactly where Alexander had said they'd be.

OOOOOOOOOO

River waited almost an hour before he began to wonder where the hell Ian was. He'd checked the bathroom – but who was in the bathroom for an _hour_? – and he'd checked the cafeteria, thinking that maybe the New Yorker had changed his mind and they'd missed each other somehow. He wasn't there, either, and none of the members of their 'platoon' had seen him there in the last half hour or so.

So he went roaming the halls of the Academy, checking in various classrooms, thinking that maybe he'd sought out a quiet place to sit and think – away from his annoying roommate. Nothing there, either.

"Mr. Hayden…"

He looked over his shoulder as he came out of the advanced engineering room, and saw the Commandant himself coming down the hallway towards him.

River snapped to attention – trying to remember if it was against the rules to be in the classrooms when they weren't in use, and trying to come up with a better reason than the fact that his roommate was missing – which was sure to get Ian in trouble.

"Yes, Sir."

"How are you doing?"

Surprised by the question – mainly because he could see and hear the sincerity in it – he dared to look over at the General.

"I'm still a bit numb about the whole thing, Sir. It's a bit of a shock."

"Yes, I imagine it is. You spent the Thanksgiving holiday with Mr. Adams and his family, didn't you?"

Wondering how on Earth he knew that, River nodded.

"Yes, Sir."

"Well, if you decide you need a 24 hour pass as well, feel free to come and ask for it."

"Pass, Sir?"

Now it was the Commandant's turn to frown.

"Mr. Brooks didn't tell you he was leaving for the night?"

Feeling a pang of worry, River shook his head.

"No, Sir. In fact, I was looking for him." It was safe to admit it, now; since it was obvious he wasn't missing.

"He came to my office a couple of hours ago and asked for permission to leave the campus – citing personal reasons. He'll be back by 1700 tomorrow."

"Yes, Sir. Thank you."

The Commandant looked at his watch.

"You'd better get to your room, son. Lights out in an hour."

River nodded, and snapped a salute, which was returned just as sharply, and then he headed back for his room.

He wondered where Ian had gone. Jack's? That didn't really seem to be something he'd do – especially the way he'd refused to see Shawn earlier. And judging from the way Shawn was acting, River hoped that Ian hadn't gone there, because right now Shawn was capable of saying almost anything, and in the state of mind he was in, Ian would take it a lot more personally then he'd ever take it another time. He couldn't think of anywhere else he'd go, though. Ian wasn't from Colorado Springs any more than River was and there weren't all that many people in the area that he knew. Just Shawn and Jack and the Fraiser's.

Maybe he went to see Cassie, then? River frowned as he went into his room and shut the door behind him. That didn't really make sense, either. Ian wasn't in a state of mind to visit his girlfriend – even though he refused to call her that. He was way too moody to think he'd be good company, and that probably meant he was off by himself somewhere, either sulking, or brooding.

Ah well, maybe he needed the time alone. It wasn't like he wasn't going to be back at 5 o'clock the next day. How much trouble could he get into in less than 24 hours?

OOOOOOOOOOO

The basement looked like every other basement Ian had ever read about or seen in stories - he'd never actually had one in any house he'd lived in, so he didn't have any personal experience to draw on - but there were odds and ends and pieces of unused furniture stacked more or less haphazardly in one area. In another area, however, the place was clear and accessible, and this was the direction he went.

The small panel in the wall _looked_ like a part of the wall. It blended in perfectly, anyways, and if he hadn't known it was there, he never would have thought to look for it. Sliding his hand along it, he felt the surface which was only slightly more even and smooth than the surface of the rest of the wall, and a moment later a very small light lit up on the panel in response to his touch.

"_Not just any touch,"_ Alexander had told him. "_It has to be the touch of someone possessing a certain gene… a signature…"_

"Like a genetic padlock?" Ian had asked.

"Exactly…" 

And so it was. He pressed the light, and damned if a large drawer didn't come sliding right out of the wall towards him – a drawer large enough to hold Ian himself if he chose to lie down in it – and if it were _empty_. Which it wasn't.

"Holy fuck…" Ian whispered, awed.


	10. 10

The drawer wasn't stuffed full of things, but Ian knew that the items in it were some of the deadliest on Earth. He recognized a few from his downloading memories, but the learning device he'd stuck his head in hadn't finished its job – and wouldn't for months, probably – so he didn't recognize it all. Although he _could_ guess at some of them.

These were the weapons that Dotty had been using to protect her son and those around her from anything that might threaten them. Weapons that she'd never allowed her husband to even suspect existed, but that she'd used ruthlessly to defend her loved ones. Weapons she'd never use again, thanks to him.

Ian felt like crying. It was all his fault. What had he been thinking, telling Shawn to send them off like that? He should have just kept his fucking mouth shut, and none of this would have happened. Guilt overwhelmed the sorrow he felt, although both emotions were strong enough that he felt a tightening in his chest and his nose suddenly seemed a little runny.

He sniffed, and wiped his nose with the back of his shirt sleeve – something his mother would have scolded him for if she'd caught him doing it – and forced his thoughts back to what he was doing. While none of the items in the drawer were volatile without activation, they did command a lot of respect when dealing with them, and Ian was going to have to pay attention to what he was doing.

He reached for the large case that dominated one side of the drawer, and pulled it out, setting it on the floor and opening it up. It had a cushioned interior – like a rifle case – and spaces cut into the cushion material to hold each device in the drawer. It was simply a matter of putting them all in the right spot. Reaching into the drawer, he pulled out the first device…

OOOOOOOOOO

A noise in the hallway woke Jack from a restless sleep. Looking over and checking Sam – which was what he always seemed to do when he woke up – he found she was still sound asleep, the stress of the day having taken its toll on her, and her body forcing her to catch up on some needed rest. Which was fine with Jack. He wasn't sure what the stress was doing to her – besides making her tired – but he knew it couldn't be good for her. He'd probably try and send her to work tomorrow, so she could get away from the somber house for a while and into a much more familiar routine. Besides, Teal'c and Daniel could watch her to make sure she was relaxing, and Janet could give her and the baby a quick check up if she still seemed tired.

Moving quietly, he slipped out of bed and tucked the blankets around her. Then he headed for the door, opening it carefully to avoid letting the light from the hall shine onto Sam – again, to keep from disturbing her – and he slipped out of the room, and closed the door behind him.

The living room light was on and the door to Shawn's room was wide open. A quick look into the room proved the boy to be gone – as was Jaffer, who had been cuddling with him when he'd fallen asleep that evening – so Jack headed down the hall. And found the two of them on the sofa, Jaffer letting Shawn use him as a big black throw pillow, and Shawn leaned against him, one hand stroking the lab's shoulder, the other wrapped around him.

Both of them looked up when Jack entered the room, and Jack could hear Jaffer's tail thumping against Shawn's side in greeting.

He came over and sat down, putting Shawn between him and Jaffer, and reached out and ran his hand along Shawn's cheek, aching to see the bleak expression in his son's brown eyes.

"Hey…"

"Hi, Jack…"

"Couldn't sleep?"

Shawn's jaw tightened as he forced back the tears that wanted flow – he was such a crybaby! – and he shook his head.

"No…"

Jack nodded.

Shawn shifted away from Jaffer, moving so that instead of leaning against the lab, he was now leaning against Jack. In response, Jack put his arms around the boy and cradled him carefully, pulling his head down against his chest. It was a position they'd found themselves in often when Shawn was younger – a position the boy had loved back then – and one they'd used less and less as time had passed and Shawn had grown older. But it was a position of comfort that Shawn needed just then, without even realizing it, and he'd automatically turned to it.

Without a trace of self-consciousness, Shawn cuddled up against Jack like he had when he was little, and with equal ease, Jack found himself rocking Shawn lightly, unaware he was even doing it.

"Do you think they felt it…?" Shawn asked.

Jack knew immediately what he was asking, and felt his heart break at the question. He ran his fingers through Shawn's hair, and shook his head.

"No." He bent down and kissed the top of Shawn's head, hugging him even closer. "They probably didn't even know what was happening."

"You think so?"

"Yeah… I bet they didn't feel anything…"

It was a small consolation, he knew, but he was probably right.

He felt Shawn shiver in his arms, and pulled the blanket from the back of the sofa down and pulled it up over them, covering Jaffer as well, since the lab had snuggled close to Shawn once more.

"What's going to happen next?"

"We'll have to wait and see, Shawn," Jack told him. "We'll just take it a day at a time… okay?"

The boy nodded, and Jack felt the grip on him tighten.

"I miss them already…" Shawn whispered.

"I know."

"It's dumb… I mean, it's not like I was even living at home anymore, or anything, so I didn't see them every day – not even once a month, really… but…" Another shudder ran through the lean body Jack was holding, and Shawn's voice broke. "But… now… I…"

"I know, buddy…"

He gathered him even closer, and this time when Shawn started sobbing into his chest, Jack was able to force his own sadness at the loss of Dotty and James to the side, and simply hold Shawn while he cried, rocking him gently, and murmuring to him as the night passed around them.


	11. 11

_Author's Note: I'll put together a summary of the Campers! series sometime today or tomorrow and put a link to it in my profile so people who haven't read all the stories, or might have forgotten something, can go back and look. It won't be all that detailed – or it'd be 900 pages long – but it'll hopefully do the job. I hope you all had a great new year's eve!_

OOOOOO

By the time he'd packed the entire contents of the drawer into the case, it was nearing morning. Ian hefted the bulky case and found that while it was a little awkward to carry, it wasn't all that heavy. Which was good, because he obviously couldn't ask anyone for help. He looked at his watch, as he headed up the stairs, and used the telephone to call the cab back to come get him.

While he waited, he sat inside – unwilling to allow any neighbors that might be early riser to see him and wonder about him, and perhaps call the police – and debated what to do with the technology he now held.

He couldn't take it back to the Academy with him. For one thing, it was pretty big and bulky and he'd never be able to hide it. For another, he wasn't all that sure he even _wanted_ to go back to the Academy.

He looked over at a picture on the wall in the living room. One of Shawn, Dotty and James all sitting and posing for a formal family picture. They certainly looked happy, and none of them had any idea of what was to come he was sure. And one dumb idea on his part had certainly fucked that up, hadn't it? He single-handedly managed to take the two people Shawn loved most from him, and Ian wasn't sure he'd be able to face him after that.

He sighed, and fought down the wave of guilt that was so strong just then that it made him want to throw up – made even worse because he was sitting in their house. He was so grateful when he saw the taxi pull up, he practically ran out of the house and got into the back of the car. It was the same driver.

"Hey, kid."

Ian nodded a greeting.

"Where are we going?"

The cadet frowned.

"If I needed a place to stow my suitcase here for a while… where would be a good place?"

"In your room."

Dip shit.

"Yeah, well… that's not an option."

"It's not a bomb or nothing?"

"Of course not."

The cab driver shrugged.

"Why not use one of those public lockers at the bus station? I think there's a limit on how long it can stay there – a week or something – but it's pretty cheap, and sort of secure. There are some at the airport that might be better…"

The _last_ place he wanted to go was the airport.

"Take me to the bus station, then, will you?"

"Sure."

Starting the meter, the driver pulled out into the road.

The bus station was closed when they reached it, but Ian wasn't worried. He paid the driver, and then walked up to the door, reading the sign that told him it would open at 8 AM. He looked around, saw that there was an all night diner across the street, and carrying his case, he walked over to it. He hadn't eaten since breakfast the morning before, and as guilty as he felt, he was also hungry.

The place was fairly empty, with a counter that ran the length of it, with stools to sit on for people who didn't want a table or a booth, and a large TV in the corner that was tuned in to one of the cable news stations.

"Hiya, honey."

He forced a smile when he was greeted by one of the waitresses – a very pleasant young woman, who looked to be about twenty-five and far too chipper for the time of day.

"Hi."

"Something to eat?"

He nodded.

"Table, booth, or counter?"

He shrugged, but gestured towards the booths.

"I'd better have a booth."

It'd give him a place to sit his case while he ate, so he wouldn't have to worry about anyone trying to steal it.

She nodded, picked up a menu from behind the counter and led him over to one of the booths closest to the TV.

"Something to drink to get you started?"

"Coffee's fine."

He didn't really want coffee, but he wanted some caffeine, and it was the best way to get it.

She left him with his menu, which he scanned quickly, and by the time she returned with a glass of ice water, and a cup of steaming coffee, he was ready to order.

Eggs, pancakes, sausages and a bowl of oatmeal.

She wrote it down and left him alone, which was good, because he wasn't in the mood for small talk – he _never_ was, for that matter – and he wanted to be alone. As he added a little cream to his coffee, he watched the news without really watching the news. His mind was jumbled right then, a mixture of the sleepless night, the shock of the day, and yet another group of unknown images dancing around inside his skull as the Ancient's device triggered another learning session. At least Alexander had been right about that; the stupid thing was gradual enough that it wasn't dangerous to him – at least not yet. It was annoying, but it wasn't so distracting that it was going to get him killed. It was just-

"'…_elect Robert Kinsey made yet another step towards recovery from the serious automobile accident that he was in last November."_

The name drew Ian's attention to the TV, where he saw Kinsey hobbling with a walker and some sort of braces on his legs and arms, supported by a couple of nurses or caregivers of some sort.

"…_the first steps he's taken since injuring his arms and legs severely_…"

Kinsey.

It hadn't occurred to Ian that Kinsey might have had something to do with the plane crash. The man knew who Dotty was, he knew. Ian had also heard that Dotty had been the one to exact retribution on the senator for the crimes he'd committed against the three cadets. Jack had mentioned that he was certain Kinsey wasn't ever going to be a threat again, but what if Jack was wrong? What if Kinsey had taken advantage of having Dotty in a vulnerable position and had taken her out? Could he be capable of killing a hundred other people just to get at one person? Ian was fairly certain he was, but there was only really one way to find out.

His dark eyes were fixed on the screen now, and he looked at the bottom of the picture where it showed where the story was broadcasting from. LA.

"Here's your breakfast, hon."

He almost jumped out of his skin when the waitress reappeared with a heaping plate of food and a bowl of steaming cereal, and she gave him an apologetic smile.

"Thank you," he told her, knowing it wasn't her fault he was jumpy. As she set it down on the table in front of him, Ian looked at the TV once more and then turned to the waitress before she could leave him alone.

"Is there a car rental place anywhere around here?"


	12. 12

When the alarm went off and woke Sam, the first thing she noticed was that she was alone in the bed. Even half asleep she could tell this, because when he was in bed with her, Jack was always in contact with her – usually with his arms around her in one position or another. And if Jack wasn't in bed with her, and Jaffer was, the lab almost always had his big head resting comfortably on her leg or side or was at least a heavy solid presence leaning warmly against her. Since she didn't feel either of them as she reached blindly for the alarm, she knew she was alone before she even woke up.

Her hand slid along the swelling of her lower abdomen for a moment as she tried to focus her thoughts enough to at least sort of wake up. It wouldn't do to try and get out of bed without being awake, now, because her balance and equilibrium were both off in the morning because of the baby, and the first time she'd tried it she'd taken a fall that had terrified Jack, even though she'd been fine. Now, she was always careful to wake up before getting up.

A little more awake now, she reached out and touched the spot he slept in. It was cold, meaning he'd been out of bed for sometime. Of course, given the circumstances, she wasn't surprised. When things were going well, Jack was a heavy sleeper, but if there was anything going on that had him concerned, or that was bothering him, he was restless, and prone to brooding, and he did his best brooding alone.

In response to her touch, she felt the baby move slightly under her hand, and Sam smiled, following the motion with her fingertips.

"Good morning, Sunshine…" she murmured, then frowned when he replied with a nudge against her bladder that suddenly made it mandatory that she get up – and soon.

"That wasn't nice…"

He didn't seem to care, though, because there was another nudge, and she rolled over and got out of bed, grumbling to herself about how much he was like his dad already.

Since they had company, she took the time to dress instead of just tossing on a robe, and then headed for the bathroom.

OOOOOOOOO

When she came out into the living room half an hour later, showered and more or less ready to start her day, she saw immediately where her husband and his dog had ended up. Cuddled with Shawn on the sofa, the three of them were a tangle of arms, legs and a whole lot of black fur. They had been covered with a blanket, but that had fallen to the floor, and now the only thing keeping the two of them warm was Jaffer, and he moved as soon as he noticed Sam was up and around.

Untangling himself from the others, he hopped off the couch and came over to her, his tail wagging a good morning that was far more preferable than the one he'd given them the day before. Using him to brace herself, she crouched down by him, running her hands along his velvety fur, luxuriating in the fact that it was a lot thicker in the winter, which made it even softer to the touch.

"You look better today," she murmured, rubbing his ears and face, and working her way along his body, scratching and caressing.

Jaffer's tail wagged a little faster, and his eyes turned cheery. How could he not be better when he was with her and being loved up like this? He whuffled her hand and face, but was careful not to lean against her and tip her over, almost as if he knew she needed a little more consideration these days – and Sam wouldn't have been surprised if he _did_ know it. After a few minutes, though, he moved away from her and towards the back door. He needed out.

She obliged him, and stood at the open door, watching as he went running down the yard looking for the perfect place to pee.

"You should have a coat on…"

Sam bit back a surprised noise and turned, finding Jack and Shawn both standing behind her, watching her. Both of them looking rumpled and tired, and Shawn looking puffy-eyed from all the crying he'd done the day before.

She closed the door, and walked over to Shawn, who'd been the one to tell her to get a coat, and she cupped his cheeks in her hands.

"For your information, I can't fit into my coat anymore, so I have to wear Jack's."

Shawn smiled. It was a sad smile, and his eyes were still just as sad, but it was an attempt at a smile, and it warmed her heart to see it. He was trying.

"You can use mine…"

She kissed his forehead, and let him go.

"Are you hungry?"

He nodded.

"I can make it, though."

"I can help him," Jack added, coming over and wrapping his arms around Sam. "Why don't you go get off your feet?"

"I just got _on_ my feet, and I'm not ready for a rest, yet," she told him. "Besides, I'm not turning the two of you loose in my kitchen. Shawn, _you_ can help me cook breakfast while Jack gets dressed and showered."

The two of them nodded, more than willing to allow her to tell them what to do. Jack because he was used to it – and would let her boss him around any day as long as it wasn't in the field (and he didn't want to cook anyways) – and Shawn because it was comforting to have her around him. She had been as much a figure in his life as Jack had, really, after all.

He followed her into the kitchen, and they started rifling through the fridge, debating what to make for breakfast as if it was simply a regular day and he'd spent the night with them. Not like the morning after the worst day of his life.

OOOOOOOOOOO

The rear hatch of the Ford Explorer slammed down, and Ian double-checked to make sure it was locked before going back to the driver's side and getting behind the wheel. The sun was barely starting to come up over the mountains, but he was already ready to go. The rental place hadn't been far from the bus station, and even better, it opened early, and Ian was there when the doors were unlocked. His Visa card – which was actually Nathan's with Ian's name on it – and his driver's license were more than enough to get him the choice of vehicles from the lot, but even though he was tempted to get a sports car, he knew that on a drive through the mountains this time of year, he was much better off with something a bit bigger, and with four wheel drive capabilities. He chose the Explorer, and added the extra insurance – because you always got the extra insurance whether you wanted it or not – and then bought a map from the display so he wouldn't get lost.

The woman who had rented him the car brought him a cup of coffee, saying he looked like he could use a pick-me-up, and Ian thanked her and took it. He _could_ use a pick-me-up. What he _really_ wanted was a few hours of sleep, but there wasn't time for that – not to mention he didn't actually have a place to sleep unless he went back to the Academy – which wasn't going to happen – or he went to Jack's. Which wasn't going to happen. So he took the coffee gratefully, and pulled the Explorer out of the lot. It was a little over a thousand miles from Denver to LA, and he wanted to get there as soon as possible.


	13. 13

_Author's Note: I had to get all my stuff done before my vacation started, so I might have slowed down on my updates a bit… I didn't think it was too bad, though…_

OOOOOO

The three of them were just finishing up the breakfast dishes when a knock at the door sent Jaffer rushing into the living room with Sam right behind him. She opened the door and found River standing there, looking uncertain, and not at all his usual cheerful self.

"I… wasn't sure if…"

He seemed unsure what to say, as if he needed to explain his presence there, but Sam gave him a welcoming smile and gestured for him to come in.

"You're welcomed here any time, River," Sam said.

"I didn't know if I'd be intruding…"

Shawn and Jack joined Sam and Jaffer in the living room, and Shawn couldn't help but be concerned at the change in his friend.

River's normally tanned face was pale, and his lively blue eyes were guarded and worried – and sad. He looked tired – as if he'd had no sleep the night before, and even though he was in jeans and a sweatshirt, they weren't as neat and tidy as he usually looked.

"You're not," Jack said, entering the room in time to hear what he'd said.

Shawn nodded his agreement.

"Did Ian come with you?" Sam asked, looking out the door for the other cadet. All she saw was a taxi pulling away.

The concerned look in River's expression deepened, and he shook his head.

"He's not at the academy…"

"What do you mean?" Jack asked, frowning.

River shrugged.

"He got a pass last night and left. I don't know where he went – he didn't tell me he was leaving, and I haven't heard from him…"

"That's odd…"

Sam turned to Jack, her own eyes concerned, now.

Shawn, however, had thought of something else. A statement he had no business making – even though he wasn't completely himself at the time and no one would hold it against him.

"You didn't tell him what I said, did you?" Shawn asked, obviously just as worried. "About…" he hesitated. "…about it being his fault?"

River shook his head, his hand coming out and touching Shawn's arm, reassuringly.

"Of course not…" He didn't add that Ian already blamed himself, and certainly didn't need Shawn's words to add to the guilt he was already feeling. Of course, he didn't _need_ to add that. They all knew it. "I _had_ hoped he was here…"

Jack shook his head; his hand resting lightly on the small of Sam's back where she'd feel his reassuring touch, but the boys wouldn't see it.

"We haven't seen him."

"He's probably off brooding somewhere," River said, shrugging. "That's what he does, after all. He's supposed to be back by 1700 hours, so I'm sure he'll show up. If he doesn't come by here, first."

He didn't sound all that sure of it, though, and he could see the others didn't seem all that certain, either, but Sam nodded, and stepped forward.

"We just finished breakfast, but there are leftovers, if you're hungry?"

River gave her a weak smile and shook his head.

"Thanks, but I've eaten, I-"

Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by another knock on the door, and since none of them had moved more than two steps from it, it was a simple matter for Jack to reach out and open it. Standing there were Andrew and Gina, both looking uncertain, and Gina showing visible signs of having been crying.

Predictably, she went for Jack first, even though Shawn was the one she was dating. Tears welled anew as she buried her face against his chest, and Jack hugged her close, comforting her as she sobbed.

Andrew looked at Shawn and the others, visibly forcing down his own sorrow.

"We just heard… and we had to come. I hope you don't mind…"

How could he mind? Shawn's friends were rallying around him, bringing their own presences to bear when he needed them the most. He shook his head, and Sam gestured for Andrew to come in as Jack took a couple steps back, still holding Gina tightly in his arms.

"How did you find out?"

"Teal'c," Andrew said, simply. Of course, that would have been easy to guess if Shawn had thought about it. Andrew was in constant contact with Teal'c, both face to face and over the phone.

"Andrew? Did you meet River?" Sam asked. She wasn't sure if Andrew had gone to Shawn's during the Thanksgiving break or not – which would have probably been the only chance he'd have had to meet the cadet.

Andrew and River both shook their heads, and Andrew stuck his hand out to River as Shawn made the introductions. The little boy who had always been scrawny had managed a couple of rather serious growth spurts the last couple of years, and add to those inches the physical well being that comes from practicing with Teal'c once a week, and by himself every night when he had time, and Andrew was a wiry, muscular young man, now. He'd never be large, but he wasn't puny, that was for sure.

"You're the Californian?" Andrew asked. "Or the one from New York?"

"I'm the Californian," River confirmed. Like he'd ever be confused for Ian. "You're the one who gave Jack Jaffer, right?"

"My parents did," Andrew confirmed, smiling at the black lab, who he was almost as proud of as he was his own dog, Shadow – who was Jaffer's mother. "For services rendered."

"And we'll always love him for it," Jack said, as Gina finally disengaged herself from his arms and turned and hugged Shawn, who found her tears setting off his own – although he didn't sob, he simply wept silently as she held him.

"Why don't you guys go sit down," Sam suggested. "Andrew's going to be going to the Air Force academy next year, so you might as well get to know each other, now."

"What are you going to do in the Air Force when you get out of the academy, River?" Andrew asked as they did what Sam said, and all of them, Shawn and Gina included, went over and sat down.

"I'm going to be a pilot," River told him.

"Like Tom Cruise," Shawn said, smiling weakly as he wiped his eyes, his other hand holding Gina's.

"Yup."

Shawn, of course, had heard this a million times.

"That sounds awesome," Andrew said, admiringly. He wasn't sure what he was going to do, but he knew it was going to be something cool like that. "Are you learning to fly, then?"

River nodded, flashing a look at Jack, who had put those gears in motion a couple years before they normally would have been.

"I've already gotten my pilot's license for single engine multi-passenger planes…"

"Like a Cessna?"

"Yeah."

"Tom Cruise _never_ flew a Cessna."

Even Shawn had to snort about that, because it was certainly true.

"I'm working on it," River told him, grinning as well. "I have to start slow, and work my way up to bigger, faster engines."

And much to Gina's dismay, that started all the guys – and Sam, who knew a lot more about engines as anyone there – talking about the different engines, and Jack throwing in comments about different planes. It was good, though, because it took Shawn's mind off of other things, and surrounded by his friends, it was a comforting way to spend the rest of the morning.

OOOOOOOOO

He made it about fifty miles west of Denver, heading down Interstate 70, before he absolutely had to stop and get some sleep. He had plenty of money for a hotel, but there was no way he was going to stop that long. No chance in hell. Instead, he pulled into a rest stop, and dozed in the Explorer for a couple of hours, under a sign that told him he was less than a hundred miles from the Continental Divide.

He couldn't sleep long, but even as focused as he was just then, Ian knew that if he didn't take a break he was going to end up wrecking, and risked not only killing himself, but whoever he might tangle with if he collided with someone. He'd already destroyed one family, as far as he was concerned, he didn't want to do it to anyone else.


	14. 14

River had to leave around mid afternoon. His pass was only good until evening, and although the Commandant would have certainly allowed him an extension on it, he was anxious to get back and make sure Ian had returned from his own leave.

He hugged Gina warmly, then hugged Sam and shook hands with the guys – although he lingered over Shawn's, his blue eyes still showing his concern over his roommate's mental state.

"If you need anything…" he shrugged. "Call me."

Shawn gave him a smile; warmed to his very soul by the care River had shown him that day. He'd forgone his usual joking and laid-back self in order to put Shawn first, and hadn't even flirted with Sam or Gina – which was a miracle itself. He'd been attentive and for the first time since Shawn had known him, had actually shown the mature side of his nature. It was the side Ian had been waiting to see, Shawn knew, and he'd missed it with his absence.

"I will, River," he promised. "Thanks."

The cadet had told the same cab to come get him at 4 PM, so he didn't need to call for one, and as it pulled up and honked, Jack pulled him to the side, his brown eyes concerned as they had been all day.

"If Ian doesn't show up on time, give me a call, okay?"

"I'm sure he will, Colonel. He probably just needed a little time to himself, to realize he's being stupid."

Jack didn't look convinced, and River didn't _feel_ convinced, but they both pretended they were, and River left the house feeling a little gloomy, but not because of Shawn's loss, but because he was just certain Ian wasn't going to show up on time, and he was going to end up calling O'Neill soon.

OOOOOOOOO

Almost as soon as River had left, Andrew's mother came to pick up her son and Gina. She greeted Shawn warmly, giving the young man a long hug, which Shawn returned easily – he'd known Miyra Stephens a long time, and while she wasn't exactly like a mother to him, she _was_ like an aunt, and he was truly fond of her.

She told him that if he needed anything, he should call her immediately, and not to worry about what time it was or what it was he needed. The offer almost made Shawn cry again. He hugged Gina, and Andrew, and then stood next to Jack and Sam and Jaffer as he watched them drive off.

"I have a lot of good friends…" he said to no one in particular.

He felt Sam's arms come around him from behind and she hugged him back against her.

"They love you, and they want you to know it."

He nodded, swallowing against a lump in his throat. Especially when Jack rested his hand on his head, and agreed with her.

"We love you, too," he said, seriously. "Don't ever forget that."

"I won't, Jack…"

He turned and wrapped his arms around Sam, resting his head on her shoulder, and feeling the swelling of the baby between them. A gentle motion against him made him look down in shock and then up at her.

"Did you feel that?"

She smiled, and nodded. His eyes looked exactly like Jack's had when he'd first felt their baby moving under his hand.

"He doesn't like to be crowded like that," she told him, taking his hand and resting it lightly against her stomach. "Wait, though, and you'll feel it again."

"_She_," Jack corrected, placing his hand flat beside Shawn's, and waiting for the movement all the same.

Sure enough, a moment later the baby shifted positions again, and all three of them felt it. They all grinned, and Shawn realized that this movement was his little brother – or sister…

"Wow…"

It was a lot cooler to know a pregnant person when the baby was moving around and you could feel stuff.

Sam smiled as she watched him, glad for any way to take his mind off other things. Besides, she loved the look of wonder in his eyes and the expression on his face.

"Does it hurt?" He asked, running his fingertips along a lump that moved in response. Who knew what part of the baby it was, but it was cool!

She shook her head.

"The only time it bothers me at all is when he hits me in the bladder… then it's a race for the bathroom."

Shawn smiled, and pulled his hand away reluctantly. Stepmother or not, Sam wasn't an amusement park attraction and he didn't want to make her feel like one. He started to say something, when there was another knock on the door, and again they were close enough to it that Jack simply reached over and opened it while Sam reminded Jaffer he was a perfect gentleman and wasn't to rush up and slobber all over whoever it was.

He snorted, as if to say he wasn't at all interested in doing anything of the sort, but when the door opened to reveal an elderly couple, he couldn't help but sneak past Jack to stand between them and Sam protectively. At least until he had a chance to decide if they were okay or not.

"Grandma… grandpa…"

James' parents had arrived.

OOOOOOOOOO

By the time Ian's pass expired, he'd left Colorado and was well into Utah. He ran into some heavy snow, but it didn't slow him down – although it did make him glad he'd decided to take the SUV instead of the sports car. He stopped at a Walmart as he left Interstate 70 to head south on 15, and picked up a couple of changes of clothes – he hadn't known he was going to be taking a long trip, after all – and then stopped at a truck stop long enough to use their shower facilities and grab a bite to eat. Aside from being tired, he felt a little better once he'd changed and managed to clean up, but he still had a long way to go, so he didn't stop and get himself a hotel room. Instead, he kept driving, drinking Mountain Dew and eating energy bars to keep himself alert. He wanted to be in Arizona before he took a chance to rest.


	15. 15

After initial introductions – Jack had met James' parents once, and Sam never had – Shawn and his grandparents went into the living room and sat down, the cadet now in the role of comforter as he hugged his grandmother who was mourning the loss of her youngest son. Randy Adams was bleary-eyed and looked incredibly tired, but after about twenty minutes visiting with Shawn, he turned to Jack and Sam, the mournful atmosphere around him suddenly a little intense, instead.

"I spoke with James' and Dotty's attorney, Colonel…"

Everyone looked up when he spoke, and Jack pulled a chair from the dining room into the living room so he could give Sam the easy chair.

"Yeah?"

Randy scowled, and glanced at his wife before looking at Jack once more.

"Apparently, Dotty and James named you as Shawn's guardian in the event that anything ever happened to them."

It should have been a surprise, but it wasn't, really. Jack knew things that Randy and Mae didn't, after all. Knew about Shawn's true parentage, after all, and knew about Shawn's association with the Asgard and other races that his grandparents didn't even know existed. Who else would Dotty want to leave her son with? His life would be far less upended by him being placed with Jack and Sam than it would if he were sent to live with his grandparents.

Jack looked at Sam, who looked at him. They hadn't discussed the possibility of this – after all, Dotty and James had both been fairly young, still, and in good health. No one could have anticipated this happening. It wasn't fair to ask Sam to take the responsibility of an additional child – even one that wasn't going to need a lot more raising – without giving her a chance to talk about any misgivings she might have, and for them to talk it over with Shawn, who might not even _want_ to be with them.

"We don't want you to have him."

Everyone turned to Mae, who still had her arm around Shawn's waist while they sat side by side.

"Now, Mae," Randy said, frowning, "I thought we were going to disc-"

"What's to discuss?" she said, sharply. "Shawn's my grandson. With his father dead…" her voice broke, and she had to take a moment to regain control. "With James gone, he should be with his family. We know what he's going through, and we-"

The phone rang, interrupting her, and Shawn breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn't actually given any thought to who was going to end up being his guardian – his mind had been more focused on what he'd lost than on anything else. He watched as Sam started to get up to get the phone, but Jack put his hand lightly on her shoulder, telling her without words that he'd get it. He was already on his feet and it was a lot easier for him to get up than it was for her.

While Jack went into the kitchen to get the phone there, Mae turned to Sam.

"It's not that we don't think you and Colonel O'Neill couldn't raise him, Major-"

"_Sam."_ She corrected.

"Sam." Mae nodded. "It's just…"

OOOOOO

"O'Neill."

"Colonel?"

Jack recognized the voice immediately.

"River. Is he there?"

"No, Sir. And he hasn't called and said he'd be late or anything… they're not very happy…"

Jack could hear the worry in River's voice.

"Just relax, River," Jack told him. "He might just be running late…" He looked at his watch. It was after 6PM. "If he comes back, let me know immediately. I'll start looking for him…"

He was going to kill Ian for worrying them like this – once he knew he was okay, anyways.

"Yes, Sir."

River hung up, and Jack hit the flash button on the phone, looking into the living room just in time to hear Mae explain to Sam that thought Shawn might feel better living in the house that James grew up in. He couldn't leave Sam to deal with this conversation alone, so he made his next call quick.

"Chu."

"Yeah, Taylor, this is Jack O'Neill."

"Hey, Jack. How's Sam?"

"She's fine. Listen, I need a favor, and I'm kind of in a hurry." Meaning he'd explain it all to him later, and he was really sorry for not having the time to do it just then.

"Sure thing, Jack. What's up?"

"I'm missing someone. Ian Michael Brooks. See if you can find him for me, will you?"

"Military?"

"He's a cadet at the academy – but he's not there right now. Just check… whatever it is you check when you're looking for people."

"Like his credit cards and ATM cards…?" the voice was slightly mocking, and Jack had to smile. Okay, so the guy didn't need his help telling him how to do his job. Of course he didn't – he was probably one of the best intelligence officers Jack had ever met. Too bad he was CIA and not Air Force.

"Yeah, those."

"I'll take care of it, Jack. You at home?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Tell Sam I said hi."

"Will do."

Chu hung up the phone, and Jack went back into the living room, just in time to hear Mae telling Shawn that they could set up a room for him easily – he could have James' old room, and that they'd paint it whatever color he wanted, and Jack thought Shawn looked almost as bewildered as he had the day before – only for a different reason, now.

"Hey…" Jack said, coming over and putting his hands on Shawn's shoulders from behind the couch. "You don't have to decide anything right now. It's-"

"We want him." Mae said, stubbornly.

"James and Dotty wanted him to stay with us…" Sam said. Jack looked over, surprised by the stubbornness he heard in her own voice. Obviously, she didn't need to discuss this with him. "We'd love to have him with us."

Sam knew that Jack would do what Dotty and James wanted. She also knew that he _wouldn't_ do it if _she_ didn't want to. Even though he'd had no say in the matter when it came to fathering Shawn, Sam knew that Jack took his parentage of the boy seriously, and felt responsible for him. _Before_, that had simply been making sure that he had what he needed, and watching out for him, but now that Dotty and James were dead, it would mean a lot more. And Sam was willing to back Jack up on this. Shawn wasn't a four year old or anything. He wouldn't be that much trouble and Sam loved him – probably as much as Jack did. She'd willingly take on the responsibility of finishing the job that Dotty and James had started but hadn't been able to complete, and her simple statement to Mae told Jack that she was ready to fight for that right.

"The boy should be-"

"The _boy_ is fourteen," Jack said, interrupting. "In most states if there's a custody battle, that age is an age where the child is allowed a say in where he or she will go." Jack squeezed Shawn's shoulders and then released them; walking over to reclaim the chair he'd been sitting on before River had called. "I suggest we all go out and get some dinner, and give Shawn a chance to think things through without being pressured."

"But…"

"The Colonel's right, Mae," Randy said, nodding. He looked at his grandson. "We want you to be happy, Shawn. That's all. And I'm not going to thrust you into a situation where you have to decide between them and us, because that's not the way it is. If you choose – and I don't mean this moment – to live with the O'Neill's, we'll still be your grandma and grandpa – and we always will. If you choose to live with us, then they'll still love you just as much – and of course you'd still see them."

"As often as you want," Sam agreed, nodding.

"But, you need a chance to think it over, and with all of us staring at you, that's not going to give you much chance." Jack said. "So Sam and I will treat you and your grandparents to a very fine dinner, where we will remember the good times and try to put off any plans of the future until tomorrow."

The next day was already going to be a tough one, since it was the day of the funeral, but Jack wanted Shawn to have as good a time as he could the night before.

"Dinner sounds like a lovely idea," Mae agreed, resting her hand for just a moment on Shawn's arm and then standing up. "Since it's your treat, it's only fair to allow you to choose the restaurant."


	16. 16

The rest of the evening no one mentioned the question of where Shawn would live. Instead they had a good meal and discussed everything but – including the baby Sam was carrying, which led to Jack pulling out the ultrasound picture and showing it off. This sent them off into a conversation about what the baby was and what they were going to name it, which of course led to the whole 'it's a boy', 'it's a girl' thing, which Mae and Randy found humorous. Of course, they admitted, they'd had many of those same arguments – and without an ultrasound to prove them right or wrong. But then, Jack and Sam _had_ an ultrasound, and they _still_ didn't know what she was carrying.

When dinner was over, the Adams' declined an offer to come back to the house for a longer visit. It was getting late, and with the long day ahead of them, they wanted to get some rest. Neither was as young as they had once been, and it had been a rough few days for them. They hugged Shawn, shook hands with Jack and Sam, and headed for their hotel, while Sam, Jack and Shawn headed back to the house – with a doggie bag for Jaffer, who had been forced to stay behind.

"Did Ian show up?" Sam asked Jack as they drove home.

Shawn turned from watching traffic pass to look over at Jack from where he was sitting behind Sam.

Jack shook his head.

"River called… Ian wasn't back at six." He saw the worried look in Shawn's eyes in the rearview mirror, and was quick to add, "He might have just been late, though."

Shawn didn't look convinced – no more than Jack felt – or Sam looked.

"Where could he be?"

Jack shook his head.

"I don't know. I called a friend of mine, though. He's going to see if he can track him down."

"Chu?" Sam asked.

Jack nodded.

"Who?"

Sam turned around and looked at Shawn.

"Taylor Chu. He's a friend of Jack's from way back when."

"He's CIA," Jack told him. "But I just asked him to look for him – just in case. It doesn't mean I think he's in any trouble or anything."

Shawn wasn't the only who didn't look like he didn't believe him, and since Jack didn't believe himself, either, it wasn't surprising. For God's sake, Ian had managed to get into trouble going to Dairy Queen, how much worse could he be in now?

OOOOOOOOO

Jaffer swarmed them when they arrived, eager to say hello, and even more eager to have the snack that he absolutely knew had to be his. Why else would they be bringing food into the house, if not for him? Sam took the bag from Jack with a smile and headed for the kitchen, followed closely by Jaffer – so closely his nose was touching her leg every time she took a step – and Shawn took a little longer to hang up his coat, hanging back a little.

"Jack?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"Do you think having me here is too stressful for Sam?"

"What?"

"You know, with the baby and everything… she should be taking it easy, not worrying about me."

Jack shook his head and pulled Shawn closer, hugging him tightly, but also putting his face close to the boy's ear.

"Sam loves you, Shawn," he murmured."And she's a lot tougher than you think she is – how else could she put up with me for so long?"

The cadet smiled, and looked over at Sam, watching her talk to Jaffer while she dished him a plate of meat scraps from the restaurant.

"That's true, huh…?"

"Yup." He ran his fingers through Shawn's hair. "You let me worry about Sam, okay? That's my job."

"But I love her, too."

"Fine…" Jack conceded. "You can worry about her a little bit, but don't let her catch you."

"Okay."

OOOOOOOOOO

Later that night, after the house had quieted down and everyone had gone to bed, Sam cuddled up against Jack and kissed his chin lightly.

"Do you think he's going to stay with us?" She asked him in a soft whisper – although he doubted anyone could overhear the question with Jaffer snoring so loudly from the foot of the bed.

Jack shook his head, sliding his hand along her side, and then bringing it to a rest against her abdomen like he always seemed to do lately. The baby didn't move, though – she must have been sleeping, too. Maybe even snoring, like Jaffer.

"I don't know, Sam. It'd be a big change for him."

"Not as big as moving out of state – and leaving the Academy."

"No, that's true." He sighed, and she could hear the exhaustion in the sound. He had as many things to worry about as she did – and more. Sam reached out and caressed his cheek.

"I want him to stay with us."

"Me, too, Sam…"

He kissed her softly, a loving kiss that told her if they didn't have company he'd be doing a lot more than kissing her, and Sam smiled, pressing closer in response.

When they fell asleep, it was deep and dreamless, secure in the knowledge that the other was there.

OOOOOOOOO

By the time he hit Arizona, Ian was forced to call it a day. He was exhausted from the power driving, and his head was pounding from staring at the road for so long. He needed a break – and a place to sleep. From the map he'd bought at the auto rental place, he saw that Littlefield, Arizona was the only town on Interstate 15 that was close – and would be the only one for a while – so when he hit that town, he stopped. There was a hotel right after the city limits sign, and the vacancy light was flashing, so he got out of the Explorer – made sure it was locked – and went into the office. Ten minutes later, he left the office carrying a key with a large number four on it, and he got back into the car and parked it in front of the room with the 4 on it. Taking the case, and the bag with another change of clean clothes in it, he went into the room and fell into bed. He was asleep almost immediately.

_"What are you doing?"_

_He didn't even open his eyes. Even asleep he felt tired, and his head was still pounding._

_"What?"_

_"Jack's worried about you. Everyone's worried about you."_

_"They shouldn't. I'm not worth them getting worried over."_

_"They don't agree." Ian didn't answer, and Alexander sighed. "Where are you going?"_

_"LA."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because Kinsey's there."_

_"And you think he might have something to do with this?"_

_"I don't know… but I need to find out."_

_"Why you?"_

_"Because Shawn needs Jack and the others, and he doesn't need me. And I can use the-"_

_"No, you can't."_

_"Sure I can." Now Ian opened his eyes – although there was no one there, only the Presence that he'd become used to. "Thanks to having my head stuck in that thing of yours – or your alternate's, or whatever – I know how to use some of those weapons I'm carrying around. I-"_

_"That's not what we gave you that knowledge for, Ian."_

_"I don't care."_

_It was obvious that he didn't._

_"And if Kinsey isn't involved?"_

_Ian shrugged. He didn't want to consider that._

_"Come home, Ian."_

_"No."_

He'd come too far to turn around, now.


	17. 17

The next day was just as hard as Jack and the others had thought it was going to be.

They met with Randy and Mae and a host of Dotty and James' friends at the funeral parlor for the service, and it was a sea of somber black clothing and tears. Shawn was, of course, the center of focus for those tears and the serious atmosphere and it's hard not to cry when someone is hugging you and sobbing on you, and the cadet found his own grief renewed every time someone told him just how much they would miss his mom and dad. It was a reminder of how much he'd miss them, too.

Jack stayed with him as much as he could, and when he wasn't there to be a solid support for Shawn to turn to when the tears overcame him, then it was Sam's turn, or Gina's. And once it had been Daniel, who had shown up with Teal'c. They were the ones who Shawn knew best, and the ones he knew he could turn to, and while they grieved for the loss of his parents, they were more concerned about him.

Teal'c caused quite a stir among the guest who hadn't met him before, and several of them couldn't help but look at him with awe when he came even closer to them and looked even more like a mountain of muscles. But the fact that he was very quiet and gentle around Shawn – and the fact that several of the younger people in the group; Shawn, Andrew, Gina and no few friends from camp, were completely unafraid of him – helped soothe their own concerns about him. Although Randy and Mae didn't even go close to him.

The service wasn't very long, although several of Dotty and James' friends spoke in low tones about what great people they had been and what a tragedy it was that their son wasn't going to have a chance to see them – or that they wouldn't be able to watch a he finished growing. Just what Shawn needed to hear for an hour. He sat between Jack and his grandmother, tears almost continuously streaming down his cheeks. So much so, that he eventually just gave up on wiping them away or hiding them. Jack wrapped his arm around his shoulder, supporting him, but Shawn didn't actually break down, and he managed to hear most of the service.

He rode to the gravesite in the limo with his grandparents, trying to comfort them as well as he could, since they, too, had been moved to tears repeatedly by the service, and as his parents' coffins were placed into the ground his mind was numb with grief and loss – almost as numb as it had been the day he'd first heard the news – and once more Jack had been there to steady him when he needed it most.

When he'd been told that there was a luncheon afterwards, Shawn shook his head.

"I don't want to go."

His grandfather frowned.

"What?"

"I don't want to go…"

"It's _for_ _you_, Shawn."

He shrugged, looking down at his feet.

"I don't want to go, Grandpa. I'm tired of-"

"You _have_ to go, boy. It's a dishonor to your parents' memory not to-"

"Shawn, we can go home." Sam had been close enough to hear the conversation, and quick to intervene.

Randy scowled at her, furious that she'd meddled.

"You stay out of this, young lady," he told her. "He's _my_ grandson, and I'll tell him what he _can_ and-"

"Don't you talk to Sam like that!"

Shawn's eyes – so much like Jack's – were flashing with temper that he very rarely showed. But it was another thing he'd inherited from Jack – although the good nature that he'd received from Dotty usually prevailed.

"I'll talk to-"

"No!" He put himself between his grandfather and Sam, in a protective stance that was completely unconscious – although it was exactly what Jack or Jaffer either one would have done as well. "She doesn't deserve you scowling at her and she definitely doesn't have to do what _you_ tell her to. She's _not_ a young lady, she's a _Major_, and if you can't treat her with the respect she deserves, then don't talk to her at all."

"Shawn…"

Sam put her hand down on his shoulder, touched but worried by the cadet's response, but before he could say anything, Randy exploded. The old man had had just as long a day – and just as hard a last few days – and he wasn't going to put up with such insolence.

"Is _this_ what they're teaching you at that school? How to yell at your elders? Maybe that sort of tomfoolery flies in the Air Force, but I won't allow it with me, young man! You _will_ go to the luncheon, and you'll keep your voice down or I'll-"

"You'll _what_?"

This time the voice was Jack's, and a moment later he was putting a hand on Shawn, pushing him gently behind him as he stepped up between Shawn and his grandfather. For a moment, Sam was worried. Jack's temper was way beyond anything Shawn could come up with – or Randy, too, for that matter – and things could go from bad to very bad in an instant. But Jack wasn't mad, she realized almost immediately. He understood that both of the Adams men were having a rough day, and tempers were bound to flare, and that those we love are the ones that take the brunt of it. How many times had he yelled at Sam after a bad day? Or _during_ them? Luckily, she was far more forgiving than he was.

"You stay out of-"

"O'Neill…"

They all looked over and saw Teal'c standing there, and there wasn't anger enough in him for Randy to say anything further to Jack or Sam or Shawn with that mountain close at hand, his dark eyes unreadable. Jack flashed Teal'c an appreciative glance and turned back to Randy.

"It's been a rough day, Randy. If Shawn doesn't feel capable of handling any more of it, I'm not going to subject him to it. I'm sure everyone will understand." He was certain Dotty and James would understand, although he didn't say it.

With visible effort, Randy Adams regained control of his temper and nodded, realizing that he probably wasn't in the best frame of mind to deal with anyone just then. The old man nodded, and mumbled an apology to Sam that she waved off. She wasn't offended.

"I'll go tell my wife you're leaving," he said, turning to go.

Jack turned to Sam and Shawn.

"You guys okay?"

They both nodded and Jack turned to Teal'c.

"Thanks for the intervention."

Teal'c shrugged.

"I was just going to ask you if you had seen Daniel Jackson."

Despite the rough morning, Shawn couldn't help but smile at that.


	18. 18

"That wasn't very nice, was it?"

Sam looked over at Shawn, who was sitting behind Jack in the truck this time.

"What?"

"Losing my temper like that…"

"I'm sure he understands, Shawn."

Jack nodded his agreement.

"If he doesn't now, he will later, once he realizes that it was just the result of a long day – on both of your parts."

"I hope so…"

Sam reached over and rested her hand on his knee.

"He will. Don't you worry about it."

The cadet sighed, and covered her hand with his.

"Since I have the two of you together… what would you say if I said I wanted to stay with you instead of go with my grandparents?"

Jack looked at him in the rearview mirror.

"Because of the argument you just had?"

"No. I know better than to make a rash decision like that on the spur of the moment." He _was_ learning a bit at the Academy, after all. "I was thinking about it last night before I went to sleep. It'd make a lot more sense if I lived here, and I'd be closer to all my friends, and all the people I know." He hesitated. "And I really want to be with you guys…"

Sam felt her insides turn to goo and knew from the expression on Jack's face that he was feeling something similar – although he had to keep an eye on the road. She took hold of the hand on hers, and squeezed it.

"We'd love to have you."

"You don't have the room, though."

"We will," Jack told him. "You know we were already making plans to add another room on to the house. We've already done the plans, and I have the permits. We're just waiting for the snow to melt. It _was_ going to be a workroom for Sam – since hers is going to be turned into a room for the baby. We can put her workroom in the garage – it's not like either of us park there, after all."

"Are you sure? It seems like a lot of work…"

"We'll have it up and built before you get out of school for the summer." Jack told him. "I planned on having it built before the baby comes in May, anyways."

"Jack has a Navy friend who's going to build it for us," Sam added.

"Then you really don't mind?"

"No, Shawn… we'd love for you to stay with us." Jack told him, seriously. "If that's what you want, then that's what we'll do."

"My grandparents-"

"Already said that Dotty and James gave us guardianship in their will." Jack shrugged. "They can try to fight it, but I don't think they could win."

"Especially since you're my biological father, huh?"

"Do _they_ know that?"

Shawn shook his head.

"We could use it," Jack said, "But I'd prefer not to unless things really came down to a nasty fight. And I don't think they will. Your grandparents seem to really want what's best for you, and if _you_ can convince them that this is what you want, then _we'll_ convince them that it's what's best for you."

Shawn nodded, and was silent the rest of the way home – probably considering how to break the news to Randy and Mae without causing an argument like the one he'd already almost gotten into with his grandfather.

OOOOOOOO

The phone was ringing when Jack opened the door, and he dodged past Jaffer's excited greeting to get to it before whoever it was hung up, leaving Sam and Shawn to distract the black lab – who was more than happy to spend some time saying hello to his second and third favorite people in the world. Sam greeted Jaffer with a warm hug and a lot of caresses, and then turned him over to Shawn while she went and turned on the television. There had been word at the funeral that Hubble had picked up some interesting new pictures from space, and even though she'd been much further into space than pretty much anyone on Earth could ever imagine, she was still interested in seeing the pictures, and hoped to find some on CNN.

Shawn scratched Jaffer, feeling his concerns and worries of the day melt away in the presence of the big cheerful lab. It was really hard to be sad or anxious with Jaffer around, and Shawn was not immune to that. He caressed the dog's ears, feeling as if a load of troubles had been lifted from his shoulders. Most of that was the fact that the funeral was over and the healing could begin, but he was pretty sure part of it was that he'd also decided to stay with Jack and Sam, and had had such a positive response when he'd told them. Not that it should have surprised him.

Jack picked up the phone, watching Shawn and Sam both as he did so.

"O'Neill."

"Where the hell have you been? I've been calling all morning."

It was Taylor Chu. And he didn't know about the funeral, or Jack knew he wouldn't have been quite so brusque. Chu was a good guy.

"We've been out. What did you find out? Anything?"

"Of course. The kid you're looking for is on his way to LA."

"LA?" Jack asked, frowning. Sam noticed and walked over to him, watching him curiously, as was Shawn from his position on the floor with Jaffer. "Are you sure?"

"He rented a 2003 Ford Explorer at 6AM yesterday morning – using his Visa – and on the destination, the company tells me he told them he was heading for LA. According to other purchases he's made along the way, it's confirmed. If he's not heading to LA, then he's heading somewhere in that direction."

"Thanks, Taylor."

"No problem, Jack. Want me to send a couple guys to go get him for you?"

_That_ would be a mistake, wouldn't it?

Jack shook his head.

"No, it's okay. But keep track of his movements for me, if you can, will you?"

"You got it."

"Thanks."

Chu hung up, and Jack looked at Sam.

"Ian's on his way to LA."

"Why?"

Jack shrugged, his expression just as confused as hers.

"I don't think he _knows_ anyone in LA," Shawn said. "What possible reason would he have for going there?"

"'…_Kinsey is making considerable progress in his rehabilitation, and we're fairly certain he'll be able to get up and around a little better now that he's able to use a walker…"_

They all turned to the TV at the sound of the name, and stared at the file photo of Robert Kinsey, who looked like a greasy weasel in the picture even though he was smiling a typical politician smile that was designed to instill trust and was supposed to ooze sincerity. Then the screen changed to a hotel, labeled as Kinsey's place of residence. And at the bottom of the screen they saw the word '_Los Angeles_'.

They all looked at each other.

"Kinsey?"


	19. 19

To the uninitiated, LA is a huge, sprawling city with an intimidating number of people and highways, and traffic. One of the largest cities in the United States – if not the world, it's huge and can certainly be scary. Ian Brooks, however, was from New York, and as far as he was concerned, LA was just another Little Apple.

He'd reached the outskirts of the city around noon, after a few hours of sleep in the lumpy hotel bed and a long hot shower. The first thing he did was pull into a filling station, buy a map of the city and ask around, playing a tourist – and with the Colorado plates on his car that wasn't so hard. This of course meant making small talk – something Ian detested – but he did it anyways. He mentioned to the woman behind the counter that he'd heard the actually Vice President of the United States of America was living in LA just then instead of Washington DC, and the woman smiled proudly and nodded.

"Recovering from a car accident," she told him. Like the rest of the world wasn't in on _that_ secret, just the LA folks. "A nasty one. Broke his arms and legs really bad, the poor man."

Served him right, Ian thought to himself – although he kept that observation to himself.

"Where's he staying?"

She told him the name of some swanky hotel that cost more a night than most folks made in a paycheck, and Ian looked at his map, looking for the intersection. The woman helpfully pointed it out to him, earning a smile of thanks from Ian, which made her smile back. The young man looked tired and distracted, but he was certainly cute. It was too bad she didn't have a break coming up any time soon, or she'd introduce him to a few more sights in LA. Like the breakroom in the back to start with.

He left the gas station with a full tank and a phone number, which he politely held onto until she couldn't see him anymore before he crumble it up and tossed it into the garbage bag in the Explorer. Then he drove around, using the map until he found the hotel he was looking for. He found a parking spot across the street, and looked up at it, noticing immediately that there were several Secret Service agents in the area.

Ian wondered if they'd figured out what a bastard Kinsey was, yet, or if the Vice President had managed to hide that side of his nature while he was recovering. Since he hadn't heard of anyone smothering him in his sleep – or attempting to – he assumed Kinsey was hiding it. At least until he was mobile.

He didn't hang out long. He didn't want to make the Secret Service guys suspicious, and he didn't _need_ to stay. He'd be able to find his way back now, no problem, and he already was pretty sure what he was going to do. He just couldn't do it until evening, when everyone was settled for the night, and Kinsey was done for the day. Besides, he was hungry.

He went through a drive thru, picking up a quick meal. He was getting tired of fast food, he thought glumly as he ate in the Explorer in the parking lot. When this was done, he wasn't going to look at another burger for at least a month.

Of course, he realized, he didn't know what he was going to do when this was over. Go back to the academy? He felt an ache that almost made him choke on his fries, and he swallowed hard, fighting back the familiar sting of tears. He couldn't. Not only could he not face Shawn knowing that he was responsible for what had happened – even if Kinsey _had_ played a part in it, Ian had been the one who'd given Dotty and James the tickets and Shawn the idea, so it _was_ his fault – but he was AWOL, now, and the Commandant was probably screaming for his hide.

He tossed the remainder of his meal in the garbage, and leaned back in his seat. It'd been a long time since he'd felt as lonely as he did just then – even when he'd been facing those nightmares every night, he'd at least had his roommates around to mock and the rest of the Academy to scorn. Now, it didn't feel like he had anyone.

OOOOOOOOO

"Do you think Ian knows something we don't?" Sam asked.

"Do you think Kinsey had something to do with… what happened?" Shawn asked, his eyes surprised – both by the thought, and by the fact that he hadn't even considered it.

"Don't jump to conclusions," Jack told him. "We don't know that's why Ian went to LA."

"It'd make sense, though," Sam said. "If Ian thought Kinsey had something to do with what happened, he very well could have gone looking for him, to confront him."

"Ian's not stupid, Sam," Jack said, sitting on the sofa and scratching Jaffer's shoulder. "He couldn't get past the Secret Service guys that are probably all over the place, and he knows it."

"You have to go get him, Jack," Shawn said, sitting down, too. "He could get himself in a lot of trouble."

Jack hesitated. He wanted to go – of course he wanted to go! But he had other commitments, here, first.

"I can't, Shawn."

"What?"

Jack shrugged.

"I have to stay here, right now. You need me. I can't let you face your grandparents alone with your decision, and I won't. As soon as things are cleared up here, if we haven't heard anything from Ian, I'll go looking for him."

"But-"

"Shawn." Jack interrupted him before he could say anything else. "If you're going to be part of the family – and we _definitely_ want you to be – then your needs are going to have to come first. Ian would understand that."

It was obvious that Jack was torn between staying and going, and that he wanted to go check on Ian – but there was no way he could. He had to stay. This was his responsibility just then.

"You could send Daniel and Teal'c," Sam suggested.

"And tell them _what_? Watch Kinsey's place because Ian _might_ show up?" Jack sighed. "For all we know he's already there."

He was doing quick math in his head, and realized that if Ian didn't stop for much along the way, chances were he _was_ already there. And that was a scary thought. But it didn't matter, because even if he wanted to, Jack couldn't leave just then. Shawn had to come first, because Shawn was fourteen and Ian was nineteen. Old enough to hopefully know better.

Shawn looked almost rebellious, but he couldn't help admit to himself that he definitely wanted Jack to be with him. He needed Jack just then, because even though he wasn't afraid to stand up to his grandparents, he figured Jack and Sam could help make the conversation less of an argument than it was sure to be if Shawn tried to do it on his own.


	20. 20

Despite his assurances that Ian was old enough to know better and all that crap, Jack did put in a call to Daniel's cell phone much later that afternoon while Sam and Shawn were outside with Jaffer. Daniel answered almost immediately.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

"Jack. How's Shawn?"

"He's okay, Daniel." Jack looked over at the glass sliding door that led to the back deck. "Listen, I need a favor."

"Sure."

"I need you and Teal'c to go to LA for me."

"LA?" The surprise was obvious in Daniel's voice, and Jack could imagine his face just then. His eyebrows were probably in his hair, and the puzzled expression was probably wrinkling the area above his nose. "Why? Is Sam having some weird craving?"

"I wish." He explained to Daniel as quickly as he could what he knew so far about Ian's disappearance.

"Jack, even if we left right _now_, driving straight through, we'd probably not make it there in time to stop him from doing anything. If we _fly_, we'd _still_ have to wait for-"

"Daniel. Hush." Jack scowled. "You don't have to fly, or drive. _Probably_."

He pulled out the small hand-held device that had been given to him by a certain little gray alien, and looked at it. "I think I can get you an instant trip there. Just come over, okay?"

Still confused, but resigned to it – since Jack confused him all the time anyways – Daniel nodded, even though Jack couldn't see it.

"We'll be there shortly."

OOOOOO

They made good time, and Jaffer bolted to the door when he heard the knock only half an hour later.

Shawn paled slightly, thinking it might be his grandparents, but Jack knew better just from the way the black lab was acting. Jaffer only looked so excited when it was someone he knew and liked on the other side of the door. Not even a pizza delivery guy caused that much happiness.

"I'll get it."

He opened the door, and a streak of yellow flashed passed, barreling excitedly into Jaffer, who growled happily and started wrestling with Jack (the dog). Daniel and Teal'c made their appearance only a moment behind the yellow lab, and Jack closed and locked the door behind him.

"Teal'c. Daniel." Sam looked at Jack – who hadn't told her or Shawn that he'd called them.

"Hey, Sam." Daniel waved weakly, and then looked at Shawn, his eyes suddenly sad. "How are you doing, buddy?"

Shawn nodded; heartily tired of people asking him that question, but knowing that Daniel actually did care how he was feeling. Besides, Shawn knew that Daniel had lost his own folks when he'd been even younger than him – and Daniel had actually seen it happen – which Shawn couldn't imagine living through.

"I'm okay, Daniel. Thank you."

"We are here, O'Neill," Teal'c said. "You will have to watch Jack for me while we are gone, however. I will not risk him in the crowded streets." Teal'c was just as protective of his yellow lab as Jack was of Jaffer.

"_Crowded streets_?" Sam repeated, looking at Jack.

"Teal'c and Daniel are going to go to LA and try to find Ian."

"But you said-"

"I know what I said, Shawn," Jack agreed. "But if we call in a little help, we might be able to get to Ian before he does anything that will affect his future too profoundly." AWOL wasn't unforgivable, after all. Murdering the Vice President – or trying to – was another matter entirely.

"What kind of help?" Sam asked.

"Thor."

Jack pulled the device out of his pocket and activated it.

"I'll probably vanish in a-"

Sure enough, a moment later there was a bright light in the room and Jack vanished – which explained to Sam and Shawn why Jack had locked the door, since that would have been a bad time for someone to come barging in, forgetting to knock. Not likely, but you never knew, and it was always better to be safe than sorry.

There were matching growls from both labs, who were pulled away from their impromptu wrestling match by the annoying noise that assailed their ears every time the Asgard transportation device was activated around them.

"Greetings, O'Neill."

Jack smiled, glad to see Thor, and grateful that he'd answered so quickly. He had been counting on the fact that the little Asgard had lessons with Andrew that day – Jack had asked Andrew to inform Thor what was happening, so Shawn's own lessons could be put on hold until things were more settled.

"Thor, it's good to see you." Jack told him, sincerely. "I need a favor."

The little alien paused for a briefest of moments.

"I assumed such was the case, O'Neill. What can I do for you?"

Jack didn't go into much of an explanation, he just pretty much told Thor that he needed him to beam Daniel and Teal'c to another city, and that it was really important. And that he had to make sure that he beamed them someplace that was deserted – like an empty room – so that no one would see them pop in out of nowhere.

"I can do that, O'Neill."

"Great. You don't need to keep an eye on them once you drop them somewhere." They couldn't risk involving Thor in anything too complicated without having some way of communicating with him, because there was no way they could run the risk of someone seeing Daniel or Teal'c just appear of disappear. "Once they're there, they can handle things."

He hoped.

"Very well." Thor was getting used to being called upon for help – and as long as it was little stuff like putting someone from one city to another, or simply 'beaming' someone up, it wasn't interfering with the treaty with the Goa'uld. Obviously sending Daniel Jackson and Teal'c to another city wasn't going to change the course of things on Earth or anything.

"Great!" Jack looked around. "Is there anyone new at my house that wasn't there a minute ago?"

Thor checked his scanner readings.

"No."

"Then beam me down and beam up Teal'c and Daniel. They'll tell you where they need to go."

"Very well."

An instant later Jack was standing back in his living room and at the same moment, Daniel and Teal'c vanished.

"Well?" Sam asked, more impatient than Shawn – or more ready to ask.

Jack shrugged.

"We'll have to wait and see. Hopefully Daniel will call us when they know something." He looked at his watch. It was fairly late in the afternoon – almost evening, for that matter – and Mae and Randy hadn't made an appearance yet. He wondered what was keeping them.

As if his thought of them had summoned them, a moment later there was a knock on the door, and Jaffer and Jack (the dog) both headed for it, Jack barking excitedly. He never had knocks on the door to answer on the base!

Calling both dogs back – and getting instant obedience from them – Jack opened the door and saw why the Adams' were late. Instead of coming alone, they were accompanied by another man. Who absolutely _had_ to be the lawyer. The time had come.


	21. 21

"The next time Jack calls me asking me to do something for him, remind me to tell him no…"

Teal'c looked at Daniel as the two of them stood in an almost empty corridor in the train station.

"An empty restroom facility would seem to be an ideal place to teleport us to, Daniel Jackson. There was no one present to see us materialize."

"Yeah, well…" Daniel looked back over his shoulder at the little blue figure on the door. "A _women's_ restroom isn't my idea of a great landing spot."

At least there hadn't been anyone outside the bathroom when they'd emerged from it, because Daniel didn't have a clue how he would have explained that.

"We need to find out where Kinsey's staying…"

Which they should have done before they left.

"Do you truly think that Ian Brooks is heading for Vice President Kinsey?"

Daniel shrugged.

"Jack does. That's what matters…"

The sun was going down as they left the train station – in Colorado it was _already_ down.

OOOOOOOO

"Randy. Mae." Jack was neutrally polite as he gestured for them to come in, curious as to who the man with them was. From the briefcase he was carrying and the suit he was wearing – which wasn't a funeral suit – Jack was certain his first guess was correct.

"Colonel O'Neill," Randy offered his hand to Jack as they walked in. "I'd like to apologize for my behavior earlier." For the first time, he looked uncomfortable. "I… it was a rough day for me. No man should ever have to bury his own son…"

Jack felt a pang. An ache that was so old and yet so well remembered that it felt like it had just been that week. Didn't he understand _that_ completely?

He shook Randy's hand, unaware of the sorrow in his eyes – although Sam and Shawn both saw it and knew it for what it was.

"It's been a rough week," Jack said.

"That it has." Randy gestured to the man who had held the door open for Mae as she walked in and had then followed them. "This is Vernon Roberts. James and Dotty's attorney. I thought I'd invite him over to answer any questions you or Major O'Neill might have – and Shawn, of course."

Roberts offered his hand to Jack, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Colonel O'Neill. I've heard many fine things about you. And you, too, Major."

"Call me Sam."

The lawyer smiled, and nodded.

"Thank you."

They introduced Shawn, who nodded a hello, and then with Jaffer and Jack following curiously behind them, the group made its way into the living room.

"Did you get a new dog?" Mae asked, looking at Jack. (the dog)

"We're dog-sitting for a friend."

"He's very well behaved, isn't he?"

Jack had taken a seat right beside Sam when she sat down, and Jaffer had joined Jack, who had pulled in a couple of chairs for he and Shawn, leaving the sofa for Mae and Randy and Vernon.

"Yeah."

"Colonel O'Neill," Vernon Roberts wasn't a man to waste a lot of time with small talk. Not unless he was getting paid by the hour – which he wasn't. "The will Dotty and James Adams left clearly names you and Major – _Sam_ – as their choice for legal guardians in the event that something should happen to them. What I need to know is _a_) do you accept that choice? And _b_) does _Shawn_? Because even though he's a minor, he's old enough in the state of Colorado to have some say in the matter."

Jack looked over at Shawn, and then at Sam before turning his gaze to Mae and Randy.

"We talked it over – alone, and then with Shawn – and Sam and I are more than willing to have him come live with us." He smiled at Shawn. "We're ready to do whatever we need to to make it legal."

"Shawn?"

Vernon looked at the cadet, who looked at Sam and Jack, and then at his grandparents, feeling just a little guilty by the drawn tired expressions on their faces.

"I want to stay with Jack and Sam," he said, and he was proud that his voice only quivered a little. "It's not like I'd be here all that much, anyways – because I'm not going to leave the Air Force academy – and I can still come see you guys in the Summer and on holidays, when you're not out visiting other relatives…"

Randy scowled, looking like he was going to say something, but Shawn put his hand up to stop him.

"Grandpa… this is what mom and dad _wanted_. What they thought was best. It's all I have from them as a sort of last request, and I'm not going to turn on that last request just because it's not what you and Grandma wanted to hear."

It was obvious to everyone that Shawn had been giving this a lot of thought, and it was an astute observation coming from someone as young as he was – although Jack knew he was a lot more intelligent and introspective than some might have given him credit for. Of course, a lot of that had to do with the extraordinary circumstances in his life, but some of it was also his own nature – not Dotty, not Jack, but _Shawn_.

"But we _want_ you, Shawn…" Mae said, softly. "Don't you understand?"

He nodded.

"Of course I do. But you and Grandpa get tired of having me around after a while whenever I come to visit, and I know that." He smiled gently at them. "And I understand it. You've raised your kids, and you deserve a chance to be able to enjoy the rest of your life – just worrying about how to _spoil_ your grandkids – not worrying about _raising_ one of them."

He looked at Sam and Jack.

"Sam and Jack are just starting their family. Their baby will need someone to watch him. To be the big brother. To spoil him when they're not looking. I won't be any extra hassle for them, because for the next four years – 3 and a half – I'm going to be learning what they already know. They'll understand me better, and they'll have more energy to deal with my terrible teenage years that I'm sure are still to come. Besides… I love them. And if I can't have mom and dad, I'll settle for Sam and Jack. And I'll still have Grandma and Grandpa if I need them… won't I?"

For the first time, he sounded uncertain, asking them if this choice he was making was going to be the end of their relationship. And of course, Mae and Randy reacted to that with the natural answer that any grandparent will give when faced with a grandchild who needs reassurance.

"Of course you will," Mae told him, reaching over and taking his hand and squeezing it tightly. She didn't look happy with his decision, but she looked satisfied that he had thought it through, and that her grandson would be in good hands – because it was obvious that Sam and jack loved him, and more importantly that he loved them. "And _their_ baby, too… if he needs a grandma to come get cookies from – or just a little spoiling."

Sam smiled, and couldn't help but feel gooey inside, and Vernon Roberts smiled, glad there wasn't going to be a custody battle. Especially since there was very little chance that Randy and Mae would win. Dotty Adams had inserted a sealed envelope in the will, with a stipulation that the contents only be revealed in the event of a contesting of the will upon their deaths. Roberts had read the contents, and knew the relationship between Shawn Adams and Jack O'Neill, and while he had no intention of sharing it – now that he knew he didn't have to – he was surprised no one had guessed. They _did_ look a lot alike, after all.

"There's a few other things we need to go over," he said, drawing everyone's attention back to him. "Mostly what to do with the estate – which is left entirely to Shawn. Of course, he's not old enough yet to actually own most of it – since he's still a minor. What I suggest is a trust. Either leave the house as it is, and continue paying taxes on it, or sell it and put the funds into an account that will be turned over to him when he's of age…"

And the conversation turned to financial matters. Things that really didn't matter to anyone. Not Randy and Mae. Certainly not Jack and Sam. And not to Shawn, who wouldn't be able to do anything with a house, anyways. They listened, of course, but they were more or less just going through the motions, now that the real matter had been solved with far less hard feelings than any of them had thought possible.


	22. 22

It was after 9 by the time Daniel and Teal'c managed to find out where Kinsey was living and then get there. But once they did make it there they had a new problem. It wasn't like they could just go up to the closest security guard and tell him that they were waiting for a dark-haired guy to come by because they thought he might be looking to get even with Kinsey. Not only would that raise an alarm they didn't want raised, but it'd also bring out a whole bunch of questions they didn't want to – or couldn't – answer.

What they ended up doing was finding an inconspicuous spot down and across the street, where they could use the cover of a newer modeled Ford Explorer to hide behind while they watched to see if Ian passed close enough to grab.

They were way too late, though. Ian was already inside.

OOOOOOOOOO

He'd parked the Explorer down the street, out of view of the main entrance but close enough that it'd be near by if he needed it. Opening the case, he'd taken two devices from it. Devices he was certain he knew how to use and certain that he _could_ use, and had slipped one on his hand and the other in his pocket. After closing the hatch of the Explorer and relocking it, Ian ducked into an alley and triggered the device in his pocket. No one saw him leave the alley a moment later, and they didn't see him enter the hotel – right past a team of Secret Service agents who were guarding the door.

He took plenty of time checking out the hotel. Although no one could see him – and thanks to the technology of the Ancients, they wouldn't be able to hear any noise he made or anything like that – he still needed to make sure he waited to open doors until there wasn't anyone around, and he ended up taking the stairs more often than the elevators, because he didn't want to risk some group of people coming into the elevator and trapping him there.

He looked for Kinsey's room and found it was the Penthouse. Big shock there. Pompous asshole. Ian slipped past the security there as well and found himself a corner of one of the rooms to hide in and observe what was going on around him, watching through a door while a medical staff of three settled Kinsey for the night. With a scowl no one could see, Ian noticed the man was still a jerk – even to the people that were trying to help him.

Robert Kinsey was heartily tired of doctors. He was tired of people helping him reach for things; he was tired of people asking him how he was doing. He was tired of not being able to move around on his own and he was damned tired of going to bed at 8 PM every night because that was when his doctors put him to bed. He wasn't a fucking child; he was a grown man – and the Vice President! He should be able to stay up as late as he wanted. But he couldn't. Because his legs and arms were at a very important stage in their healing where the doctors insisted he needed to rest as much as possible so he would have the energy needed for bone regrowth and whatever else they mumbled about when he wasn't really listening to them.

"Is there anything else I can do for you Mr. Vice President?"

Kinsey turned his scowl to the pretty nurse that was tucking his blankets around his legs, and was forced – once again – to resist the urge to tell her _exactly_ what he wanted her to do for him. For one thing, she was married and not at all interested in him. For another, Kinsey had seen her husband a few days before and the man looked plenty big enough to kill him for even making a suggestion of a pass at his wife.

If he were up on his feet and able to strong arm her, he might be tempted to try a little seduction – or figure out some way to black mail her – but he wasn't, and he was too sore all the time from the healing bones to really be all that interested in coming up with a good scheme to get her into his bed for a few hours. He'd wait until someone easier came along – or until an opportunity presented itself.

"No, I'm fine. Just get out."

The nurse gave the blankets over his legs a final adjustment – and Kinsey decided she was being rough with him because she didn't like his attitude. He frowned, but before he could call her on it, she and the others were gone. And they wouldn't be back until the next morning – unless of course he needed them. Then he'd push the little button on the stand next to his bed and a nurse and an agent would both come running to see what he needed.

He was tempted to call them back, telling the nurse that he needed to go to the bathroom, which would annoy her mightily he knew. He could pretend that his hands were too sore tonight to do the unzipping himself and then _she'd_ have to, and her hand would probably brush up against… but she probably _wouldn't_. She'd probably have one of the agents do it for her, and they would, because they all liked her and didn't want her to have to do anything she didn't want to. Kinsey didn't want any of his secret service detail to have their hands that close to his privates. Besides, he was too tired after his day of therapy to be getting out of bed – especially to _pretend_ to need to pee.

He settled into his bed a little more comfortably, flipping through the channels on the TV looking for something worth watching. Anything to take his mind off how much he ached. Maybe a dirty movie… except that would give him other problems that he had no way of handling just then. He scowled, and switched to another channel, so intent on the TV that he never even noticed the door open just a little more than it had been – or noticing that it closed completely a moment later. Although he did turn when he heard the click of the lock, unsure what the sound was and looking to see if someone was coming in.

There was no one there, though. Some breeze must have blown the door shut, and Kinsey was going to make sure someone knew about it if he caught a chill because someone didn't close the fucking window in the main room of the suite properly. He reached for the buzzer on the stand, thinking that maybe he'd chew someone out now. That would be a pleasant distraction from the aches and pains – and might even help him go to sleep.

His hand froze in mid-motion, though, and Kinsey stared at it. Because he hadn't been the one to stop it. As a matter of fact, he was still trying to reach for the buzzer, but something invisible had hold of him. That was when he realized that the rest of him couldn't move, either. He was completely paralyzed.

A form appeared out of thin air, then. Just beside the now closed door. A pale figure with dark hair, and dark eyes that looked tired and angry and almost desperate. Kinsey felt a shiver of fear. For just a moment he thought he was looking at some sort of ghost or specter. Then it stepped closer, and he saw that it was just some kid. Incredibly young and way too inexperienced to be any sort of threat to someone like him. At least, he thought that until the figure spoke. Then he heard a voice that was just as dangerous as any he'd ever heard before. There was a quality to it that actually sent a shiver of fear down Kinsey's spine.

"Hello, Senator… we need to have a talk…"

OOOOOOOO

"That went far better than I ever could have imagined…"

Jack nodded, and watched as Sam undressed and joined him in bed. She'd gone to check on Shawn once more, but had reported he'd fallen asleep No real shock there, since it had really been a long day for the boy – and Jack and Sam, although not to the same extent. They'd all been so tired that they'd simply called it a night once Shawn's grandparents and Roberts had left for the evening. A quick meal of sandwiches and milk to send them to bed feeling full enough to live through the night, and then a quick run outside for Jaffer and Jack (the dog).

Jack had checked Shawn right after he'd gone to bed, giving the cadet time to settle for the night before coming in to check on him, but Shawn was already almost asleep. His eyes were heavy as Jack hung around, making sure that if he needed to talk he'd find an ear in Jack, or a shoulder if that was what he needed. Shawn wanted to both, but was secure in the knowledge that he'd have both as long as he needed. Jack would be there when he woke up, and that was enough to put him to sleep. So Jack had left him, resisting the urge to cuddle with him for a while. Like Shawn, Jack knew they had all the time in the world for such things, even though Shawn was rapidly reaching an age where he wouldn't really want to cuddle any more. At least, not with him. Ah well. He'd gone outside, gathered his dog and Jack and the three of them had gone to bed where they waited for Sam to join them.

"Yeah, it did." Jack smiled as Sam joined him in the bed, shifting around two great big dogs to get to her customary position next to him. When she did, he made sure she was covered, and then cuddled up against her, his hand brushing her soft skin tenderly. It wasn't really an invitation – there wasn't much room on their bed for anything too physical – it was just something he loved to do, and Sam smiled, and leaned into the touch, because it pleased her as much as it did him.

"He's quite good at speaking his mind without upsetting people…"

"He gets that from me."

She snorted, and he couldn't help but grin. Yeah, okay. Maybe he _didn't_ get that from him.

Still amused, Sam ran her hand along Jack's thigh, her eyes watching his reaction as she caressed him, and Jack shivered in delight at her touch. A touch that would never fail to arouse him. Not even if he was a hundred and ten. He pulled her carefully closer, because it was obvious that Sam wasn't as tired as she had been, and how much room did they _need_, really?


	23. 23

Author's Note: _Language alert_! Definitely one to read before allowing the kids to see it.

OOOOOOOOOOO

He tried to say something, but his jaw was frozen as well as all the muscles in his throat – which terrified him, suddenly, because he realized that if all his muscles were to stop working, that would include his heart and lungs.

Ian walked up to the bed, his hand extended slightly towards Kinsey, but palm down so the man couldn't see the device in his hand. Not only was the device keeping him still, but it had also scanned the room to make sure there were no recording devices or video devices that would give evidence of what was about to happen. The room was clean, and Ian spoke again.

"I'll let you speak, but if you yell, I'll kill you long before anyone gets here. Do you understand?"

Kinsey found that the muscles controlling his head were suddenly working, and he nodded, his eyes wide with shock and fear. What the hell was this? It had to be some alien, but he hadn't had anything to do with any aliens for months now – longer, even! Unless it was –

Ian took the nod for a yes, and made a slight adjustment on the device, freeing Kinsey's mouth and vocal chords – although he was ready to clamp down on them in an instant. Kinsey felt the change immediately, and debated screaming for help anyways. But something in those dark eyes told him that the kid wasn't joking about killing him.

"Who are you?"

"None of your fucking business."

Immediately, the tone of voice made Kinsey angry – it was a talent Ian just seemed to possess naturally.

"How did you get in here? How did you get past the-"

"I came down the fucking chimney. What do you know about Dotty Adams?"

"What?"

That name struck fear into his heart the minute he heard it, and if not for the fact that he was frozen, Kinsey would have reeled back in terror, afraid that the crazy woman was somehow coming after him again. He did look around, and Ian noticed the terror in his expression immediately, and wondered if it was a nonverbal admission of guilt.

"_Dotty Adams_, you piece of shit. What do you know about what happened to her?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kinsey said, so surprised by the question that he actually answered truthfully instead of saying something weasel-ish. "What do you mean?"

"Don't lie to me!"

Ian could see in Kinsey's eyes that he was confused, but he didn't know if it was an act or not. And he had to know. He _had_ to.

"Who _are_ you?" Kinsey asked again, his voice raising, but only because he was torn between anger and fear – mostly fear – and he had no idea who this person was that was threatening him – and didn't know what he had to do with that witch that had beaten him up so badly, but he did know that he didn't want anything to do with him – or her – ever again.

"What do you know about the plane crash? What did you have to do with it?"

"Plane-"

"_Answer me_!"

He didn't wait for an answer, though. He'd had enough. The man wasn't going to tell him anything – and even if he _did_ answer him, Ian knew he couldn't believe the answer. He activated the device in his hand, freezing Kinsey's mouth once more and brought his hand down on the man's head while at the same moment employing the other device he'd brought along. This one far more dangerous.

Kinsey's mind screamed in terror as he felt something inside his head. Some kind of Presence inside him, sifting through his thoughts and memories, seeing all that he had done and all that he had schemed to do in the last few weeks and months. All the way back to the plot to steal Jack O'Neill's son and capture – no, _kill_ – him. He was frozen to the spot, unable to even whimper in terror as a pain grew worse and worse the longer he was subjected to the probing, and he felt a rush of anger that wasn't his and a purely mental scream of frustration that, again, didn't belong to him. Then the Presence was gone, and he was alone in his head once more.

"God DAMN it!"

Ian barely could control his fury enough to remember to keep his voice low. It wasn't there! Absofuckinglutely nothing about Dotty's plane crashing! The bastard didn't have anything to do with it! Nothing! Oh, he'd had plenty to do with other things, of course. Lots of evil considerations running through the slimy bastard's head – and thoughts that were definitely not of going to church and making a better man of himself – but Kinsey didn't have anything to do with Dotty's death. He didn't even know about it.

Which meant it was all Ian's fault.

He squelched that thought, though, for the moment. As much as he wanted to scream and run from the guilt that was once more crashing down on him, he had to deal with Kinsey, first.

Kinsey's eyes were wild with fear. He didn't know what the kid was so angry about and he would have recoiled in fear and terror if he could have, certain he was going to be killed any moment for whatever one of the various plots that had been discovered. By the time Ian gathered himself together enough to speak once more, Kinsey was almost as afraid of him as he was of Dotty Adams.

"You listen to me, you piece of shit," Ian said, his dark eyes smoldering with hatred – although Kinsey didn't realize that hatred wasn't aimed at him. "I _know_ what's going on in your head, now – and I will from now on. If you do anything – and I mean fucking _anything_ – out of line, even telling someone to pull your fucking finger or telling a dirty joke, I'll come down on you so hard that it'll make what Dotty Adams did to you look like a tiptoe through the fucking tulips. Do you understand me?"

Kinsey's head was freed again, and he nodded so vigorously that Ian was surprised that it didn't fall off.

"Do you _believe_ me?"

Kinsey's head nodded again, his eyes so wide with terror that they were practically bulging out of their sockets.

"Good. Because I'm serious. I'll know the minute you even fucking _think_ of something – and I'll come crashing through anything you put in front of me to get at you."

Kinsey nodded, unable to _say_ anything, so he couldn't swear over and over that he wouldn't do anything – although he wanted to say it over and over again. Anything to make this person leave him alone!

Ian waited another few moments, debating whether or not to get back inside Kinsey's head to see if he meant what he was saying just then, but he didn't. He didn't want to get back inside that evil mind – not even for a moment. Instead, he turned himself invisible again – after giving Kinsey another killer glare – and headed for the door. Only when he was carefully through the door and away from the room, down the staircases and to the ground floor did he deactivate the device that had immobilized Kinsey. Just in case he decided to call for help.

He stood outside the main entrance to the hotel, standing in the dark and invisible still, waiting for some kind of alarm to be raised, but after a few minutes without any kind of panic on the faces of the two Secret Service guys guarding the door, he decided Kinsey hadn't called for help. He didn't care, though. The anger was fading rapidly, now, and all that was left was guilt.

He went into the alley on the side of the building, and emerged – visible – a minute later. Eyes blurring from tears that he was fighting to control, Ian put both devices into the inside pocket of his jacket, crossed the street and managed to make it to the Explorer without getting hit by a car. He fumbled with his keys, and unlocked the door, then slid behind the wheel. And buried his head in his arms on the steering wheel and cried.


	24. 24

_He felt the Presence with him, and opened his eyes, looking around. All he saw, though, was a room. An empty room that was bathed in a bright white room. But the Presence was overpowering, and Shawn felt some part of his soul react to it in some manner he couldn't understand. Almost as if he recognized it – although he didn't have a clue._

_"Your mother would have been very proud of you…"_

_The voice was deep and gentle, and as filled with love as any Shawn had ever heard, and that same love filled him, soothing him like the warmest hug he'd ever received from Dotty, or James, or anyone else._

_"Who are you?"_

_He wasn't afraid, he just wanted to know._

_"I can't tell you, Shawn."_

_There was true regret in the tone of voice, and Shawn nodded, feeling better than he had in days. It was hard to feel sad with the boundless love that was emanating from the Presence that was with him._

_"Do I know you?"_

_"No. Not here."_

_"Will I?"_

_"Maybe. Someday. If things turn out the way they should."_

_"How-"_

_"Don't ask." The voice was filled with amusement, and it made Shawn smile as well. "Just trust me, okay?"_

_"Okay."_

_He hesitated._

_"You know my mom?"_

_"She loved you very much."_

_Shawn smiled. He'd always known that, of course, but it felt good to hear it._

_"Do you think she would approve of me staying with Sam and Jack? Or should I have gone with my-"_

_"She told you what she wanted. And you did exactly what you had to to do it, and you didn't hurt anyone's feelings in the process. That's remarkable."_

_He flushed with pleasure at the praise, and felt a tenuous touch on his cheek. Even though his eyes were open, he still couldn't see anyone there, but it didn't frighten him._

_"You look like Jack, you know, but there's a lot of your mother in you."_

_He smiled again._

_"Then she's not dead, is she?"_

_"She'll never die as long as there's some of her left. You won't see her again, but she's a part of you, and that means she can't ever really die."_

_He nodded, and felt the touch fade, although the love was still as strong and powerful as it had been._

_"You'll be fine, Shawn…" the voice told him, and Shawn could hear the pride in the voice. "You'll see."_

He roused from his sleep, just a little, and looked around. It was dark and the house was completely quiet. Shawn frowned slightly, and settled back into the bed, pulling his blankets up around him once more. He'd been having the best dream, and even though it was already starting to fade, he felt the heavy burden of grief that had been weighing him down the last few days ease considerably. Unsure what had caused it, but comforted, the boy went back to sleep. This time it was dreamless.

OOOOOOOOOO

For all that they'd been watching for him, it was a surprise to Teal'c and Daniel both when they saw Ian. For not only was he coming down the street away from the hotel instead of towards it, but he was also heading directly to their hiding spot. By the time he reached them, both could see he was upset, and Daniel looked at Teal'c, wondering if the worst had happened – and somehow Ian had escaped after killing Kinsey – and was now regretting it.

Teal'c frowned, but tensed, ready to reach for Ian when he passed the Explorer. Once again Ian surprised them, though. He didn't _pass_ the Explorer; he unlocked it, and got into it. And then broke down completely, sobbing quietly into the steering wheel. They'd been hiding behind his rented car. And should have realized it once he noticed the Colorado plates. But who would have guessed?

Daniel watched for an angry mob to start forming at the door to the hotel – which would have been a sign that something had happened to Kinsey. When nothing happened, and several minutes passed without any warning being spread – or any kind of alarm given – Daniel looked over at Teal'c and gave him a questioning look. The Jaffa gave him a look Daniel couldn't read, and then headed around to the driver's side of the door and opened it.

Ian didn't even notice that anything was going on until he felt Teal'c's large hand come to a rest on his shoulder, and then he about jumped out of his skin, his hand reaching into his jacket for one of the devices before he even looked to see who it was.

Teal'c's hand moved much quicker than Ian's, stopping him before he even made it inside his coat, much less his pocket.

"Easy, Ian Brooks, you are with your friends."

"Teal'c." He looked around, confused, and Teal'c let go of his hand, which dropped to the steering wheel. "What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

"Jack."

Ian saw Daniel coming around to stand beside Teal'c, the archeologist wearing an expression he could read.

"Is he here?"

Daniel shook his head.

"He had to stay with Shawn…"

"Good." Ian nodded. "He _should_ be with him."

Daniel looked towards the hotel.

"Did you see Kinsey?"

Ian nodded.

"Did he have anything to do with the plane crash?"

Ian shook his head, and they both saw fresh tears trickling down the young man's cheeks a moment later.

"No. He didn't do it."

"Ian…"

"It's _my_ fault, Daniel…" Ian said, softly, looking down at his hands, which he could only just see in the shadows created by the steering wheel and a streetlight. "If I'd have minded my own business, Dotty and James would never have been on that plane."

"It's not your fault."

"_Quod erat demonstrandum_, Daniel."

The archeologist frowned.

"No… the facts _don't_ speak for themselves."

"Shawn must hate me."

"He does not blame you, Ian Brooks," Teal'c said. "No one does."

"We have to get you back. Jack's beside himself with worry."

"I'm not sure I'm going back."

"Are you going to steal this truck?"

"What?"

"You have to _return_ this, right?"

Ian shrugged.

"Eventually."

"Then it's settled." Daniel reached over and unlocked the doors with the driver's controls, and opened the back door – the one behind the driver's door. "We need a ride home, anyways."

"How did you get here?"

"I'll tell you later – it's classified." He took Ian's arm. "You look tired, so I'll drive first. Go ahead and get into the back and try to get some sleep."

He was going to tell him to go to hell – or at least tell them to go away, but he knew they weren't going to. No matter what he said. And he'd hardly be able to intimidate Teal'c into leaving him alone – Teal'c would probably just truss him up like a branded calf or something and toss him in the back seat anyways.

Numb, Ian did what he was told, and got into the back seat, while Teal'c took shotgun and Daniel slid behind the wheel. He buckled his seat belt, but then simply stared out the window – exhausted and jaded, but fairly certain he'd never be able to sleep.

He was wrong.

OOOOOO

The phone woke Jack from a light doze, and he grabbed for it, trying to get it before the noise woke Sam. It didn't work, though. Even as he picked it up, he saw her eyes open sleepily – although she didn't say anything, she just tucked her head up under his chin and sighed contentedly, her hand resting on his chest.

"O'Neill."

"We found him, Jack."

He felt relief surge through him.

"Is he all right?"

Sam looked up at Jack, realizing who it must be, and Jack's free hand stroked her hair tenderly.

Daniel looked back at the passenger in the Explorer. Ian's head was resting against the window, his eyes closed – although there were lines of pain etched in his expression even then.

"He's a mess," the archeologist confided. "But he's healthy and whole, and nothing happened that can't be reversed." Meaning he didn't kill Kinsey. "At least, we don't think so." Daniel looked at his watch. "We're driving home, now, and we'll drive straight through – we should be there sometime around 5 PM."

"You're in the rental?"

"Yeah."

"I'll meet you at the rental office."

"Okay."

Daniel hung up and Jack set the phone down.

"Ian?" Sam asked.

Jack nodded, and hugged her close.

"They found him. They're bringing him home."


	25. 25

The next morning Shawn woke up feeling rested and about as good as he'd felt in the last few days – better even. He didn't know _why_ he felt so good, but he did, and that was really all that mattered, he supposed. Maybe just because all the worries about who he was going to live with on his summer vacations and who was going to be his guardians and all that were taken care of. Maybe just because he'd had a good night sleep. Who knew?

He came out of the bedroom and was swarmed by Jaffer and Jack (the dog) who literally knocked him over in their eagerness to say good morning, and Shawn was swamped under them, unable to dodge two tongues and unlimited slobber.

"Dogs! Breakfast!"

_That_ made them move, quick enough. They thundered down the hall, leaving Shawn to drag himself back to his feet and he grinned when he saw Sam standing at the end of the hall watching him.

"I bet Ian and River don't do that to you in the morning…"

He shook his head, still smiling, although he lost the smile when he thought about Ian.

"Did we hear anything from Daniel or Teal'c?" He asked, taking a hand towel from her and wiping his face clear of dog drool.

Sam nodded.

"They found Ian last night. They're on the way home."

"Is he okay?"

She shrugged.

"Jack spoke to Daniel, who told him Ian's 'a mess'. But he's healthy and whole, and as long as that's the case, we can work on the rest."

"What about Kinsey?"

She shrugged again.

"I don't know, Shawn. We'll have to-"

"Hey! Are you guys going to come eat?"

They turned and saw Jack standing by the kitchen entrance, and Sam looked at Shawn.

"Oh, yeah. I was _supposed_ to be coming to tell you that breakfast is ready."

Now that they mentioned it, the house _did_ smell great. Like sausages and something hot cooking – pancakes or waffles, Shawn wasn't sure which.

"It's hot and ready now," Jack said, walking over and brandishing his spatula like a sword. Or maybe like a little dagger. "And if I end up feeding it to the dogs, you're going to end up with _cereal_."

"We're coming."

Jack smiled, and ran a hand along Shawn's shoulder when the cadet walked past to head for the table, which was already set.

"Did Sam tell you Daniel and Teal'c found Ian?"

He nodded.

"Good. They're on their way back, and should be here sometime late this afternoon or early evening – depending on how many stops they have to make, or what kind of weather they run into."

Jack held Sam's chair for her, and brushed a kiss against her cheek as she sat down, and then turned his attention back to Shawn, who didn't need a kiss or his chair pulled out for him, and he sat down quickly.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, Jack. More worried about Ian than anything, really…"

Jack nodded, and from the look in his expression, Shawn knew Jack was worried about Ian, too. But he didn't say anything, yet. Instead, he vanished into the kitchen and returned with a couple of platters; one with waffles, and one with sausages and fried eggs. He set them down and told them to dig in, and then went back into the kitchen for a carton of juice. Only then did he sit down and join them.

"I'm going to kill him when I see him…"

Shawn looked at Jack, who was dishing waffles onto his plate.

"Ian?"

"Yup."

He could tell Jack didn't mean it, but he understood completely.

"I just want him back…"

Jack nodded, losing his annoyed look and starting in on his breakfast.

"Me, too."

OOOOOO

After they ate Shawn and Sam stayed at the house because Shawn's grandparents were supposed to come by before they left for home, but Jack had a few things he needed to take care of. He offered to take the dogs with him, but Sam told him she and Shawn could handle them just fine for a couple of hours – it wasn't like they weren't perfect angels, after all. Besides, she knew where Jack was going, and he didn't need to be distracted by having Jaffer and Jack both with him.

Randy and Mae arrived just after Shawn and Sam finished the breakfast dishes (Jack cooked so he didn't feel at all guilty about leaving that particular chore for them) and they sat and had a cup of coffee while they made sure there wasn't anything Shawn needed from them before they left. He assured them again and again that he was going to be fine, and that if he needed anything, they'd be right up there on the top of the list of people he called.

There were hugs and tears all around as they said their goodbyes – their plane was leaving at noon and they had to get some other visits out of the way before they left – but it wasn't too bad, and Shawn was able to smile as he waved goodbye to them from the driveway where he, Sam and the dogs had come out to watch them drive off.

Sam wrapped an arm around his waist, giving him a partial hug.

"Why don't we get bundled up and take the dogs for a walk?"

That would give them exercise and give Shawn something to do besides sit around the house.

"Are you _supposed_ to be walking?"

She rolled her eyes.

"I _could_ sit in a wagon and you could pull me…"

When he gave her a look that said he was actually considering that, she cuffed him on the shoulder.

"I am _not_ an invalid, young man. Walking is good exercise – for me and the baby. You walk Jack, I'll walk Jaffer."

Jaffer would never tug on the leash with Sam on the other end. He'd pull Jack all over the place sometimes, if they were in a playful mood, but he never put Sam in any situation she couldn't handle.

Shawn nodded, and they went inside to get Jaffer's leash and one of the extra ones hanging on the Wall to use for Jack.

OOOOOOOOOO

By the time Jack returned home, Shawn and Sam had already eaten lunch and were sitting at the dining room table with the chess set in front of them. She was trying to explain to Shawn the odd set of rules for chess that Jack and Ian had invented over Thanksgiving break, and although she couldn't remember all the various rules, they were having fun experimenting with it. She doubted even Jack could remember all the rules they'd made up – since there had been so many.

Jaffer and Jack bolted to the door to say hello, and Jack spent several minutes scratching, rubbing and wrestling with both labs before he finally pulled away long enough to come over and sit down at the table.

"Who's winning?"

They both shrugged. Since they'd lost track of which ones were the Buddhist pawns, they kept adding all their men back to the board when they were captured, so things had been a stalemate pretty much from the beginning.

"I think Shawn is, but I'm not positive." Sam said. "Did you see River?"

Jack nodded, and Shawn looked over. He hadn't known that Jack was going to the academy.

"I told him that Shawn here will be back as soon as he's ready, and that Ian's been found healthy and whole and not to worry."

"I can go back, Jack," Shawn said. "I'm ready…"

Jack nodded. He and Sam had discussed that, and they thought it would be good for Shawn to be back at school, and with River, who was so cheerful that it was bound to rub off on the boy. Besides, Shawn and River were pretty close. They'd had a lot of time to get to know each other the month that Ian was away from school recovering from his injuries, and Jack figured that if anything was bugging him that he didn't want to talk to Jack about, he'd be willing to take it to River, who was sensible enough that he could help him through it.

"I'll take you back in the morning, then."

"With Ian?"

Jack hesitated.

"We'll see what happens."


	26. 26

Driving straight through, switching drivers when one grew tired and only stopping long enough to fill up the Explorer, eat, and take bathroom breaks, they made far better time than Daniel had expected. It helped that Ian and Teal'c were both speeders when they didn't think Daniel was looking. Consequently, they pulled into the rental lot a few minutes after 4PM instead of 5, and Jack's truck was sitting right outside the main door. Beside his truck was Sally's car, and through the glass door of the office, Ian could see Jaffer flirting with the woman who had rented him the Explorer.

Ian opened up the back and pulled out the case. Luckily, Teal'c and Daniel simply thought it was an ugly suitcase, and neither had thought anything more of it. During one of the rest stops, Ian had transferred the devices from his pocket into the case, and then had locked it securely and left it where it was for the rest of the trip.

He wasn't sure exactly what he was going to do with the things, all he knew was what Alexander had told him. That they couldn't allow the technology to fall into the wrong hands – and that meant keeping it away from the military, because Ian knew as well as anyone that the military would instantly start looking for uses for them, and as dangerous as most of the items were, they could do serious damage before anyone had a chance to figure them out. Even Ian only knew how to use a few things in the case – although he had a feeling he'd know more and more as time passed.

He carried the case into the rental office and braced himself against Jaffer's greeting, while Jack (the dog) dodged past Daniel – who was smiling to see Sally waiting – to say hello to Teal'c, who grabbed him into a cheerful hug, scratching his ears and rubbing his shoulders and sides. Jack came over while Ian was stroking Jaffer's sides, and knelt down beside him, his brown eyes concerned and annoyed at the same time.

"You okay?"

Ian shook his head, looking around. Shawn wasn't there and neither was Sam, but he supposed it was just as well. He didn't want to face Shawn, and he didn't want Sam to have to worry about him. So it was better that it was just Jack.

"I don't know."

"What were you thinking, running off like that?" Jack asked, unable to hide how much that angered him. "Are you out of your mind?"

"I…" Ian trailed off, unable to come up with anything to say. Instead he shrugged. "Don't worry… it won't happen again."

"Damn straight it won't."

Jack stood up, his hand coming to a rest on Ian's shoulder for just a moment – belying just how mad he was – and Ian felt a pang of regret. He'd made his decision on the way home, and he knew Jack wasn't going to like it.

He stood up as well, nodded a hello to Sally and headed for the counter, handing the keys to the Explorer over and finishing the paperwork that came with turning in the rental car.

"Sally?" Jack said. "You're taking Teal'c?"

She nodded, her arm around Daniel.

"Yes."

"Okay." Jack gave Daniel and Teal'c nods of thanks. "Go home and get some rest."

"I'll see you later this evening, Jack?" Daniel asked.

Jack looked over at Ian, who was still filling out forms, and then nodded.

"I think so, Daniel. I'll call you."

They left, then, leaving Jaffer and Jack alone while they waited for Ian to finish up.

"Sam and Shawn are waiting at the house," Jack told him once Ian was done and had turned around to look at him.

Ian shook his head.

"I'm not going to your house, Jack. I need to go take care of something else."

"You can take care of it later. They're worried about you and want to see you."

Jack couldn't help but be worried, too. Ian looked awful. Pale and tired, and sad, as if the weight of the world was pressing down on his shoulders. Or a lot of guilt, which Jack was certain was closer to the truth.

"I need to do it, now."

"Then I'll take you."

He shook his head.

"I need to do it alone."

"Ian…"

"Jack…"

"Sam told me to bring you home," Jack said, playing the trump card that he'd always have available when it came to dealing with Ian. "Do you _really_ want me to have to go home without you and face her?"

He felt a stab of guilt. Sam was worried. Jack had been worried. Everyone had been worried, and there wasn't any reason to be. He wasn't worth them all getting so upset. They should be saving their concern for Shawn. He sighed.

"Fine. But take me to the academy, first. I need to take care of a few things there. Then I'll go with you." He definitely needed to see the Commandant. Then, when he was finished, he could talk to Jack and the others and tell them what he had decided.

Jack nodded.

"But you're coming home with me."

"Fine."

"Your word on it?"

"Yes. As soon as I'm done I'll go to your house with you."

"Good. Get in the truck."

OOOOOOOOO

The academy didn't look any different. Ian hadn't really expected it to, he supposed, but it felt different this time when he and Jack pulled into the main gate. Maybe because this was going to be his last time coming here? He sighed, feeling a bit sad at the thought, even though he hadn't wanted to come here all that much in the first place. He'd done it because Nathan wanted him here. Nathan had figured his son could learn a few things about himself and become more disciplined if he went to the Air Force Academy instead of some regular school. Look where that had gotten him… But this wasn't Nathan's fault, and Ian knew it. It was all his.

"You okay?"

"Drop me off at the Commandant's office, will you?"

"Sure."

Jack ignored the fact that Ian had avoided his question, and bit down on the urge to ask him what he was going to say to the Commandant. He'd find out soon enough, he was sure.

Jack stopped the truck and Ian got out and grabbed the case from the back of it.

"We'll be in your room," Jack told him.

Ian nodded and turned towards the main building, while Jack drove over to the parking lot by the dorms.

OOOOOO

The secretary outside the Commandant's office knew Ian by sight. What was even more important, she knew that he was supposed to have been back at the school long before now, and that the Commandant had _not_ been happy to find out he wasn't. Before Ian even reached her desk, she was already on the phone with the Commandant.

"Cadet Brooks has just walked into the office, Sir."

"Send him to me the minute he gets close enough to hear your voice, please."

"Yes, Sir."

She hung up and waved Ian over – not hard, since he was coming her direction anyways.

"You can go right in, Cadet."

"Thank you."

She gave him a slightly worriedsmile, wondering what he'd been doing that made him look so awful.

"I'll watch your suitcase for you. You could have dropped it in your room before coming."

He nodded, and set it down and then walked in the door.

"Close the door Mr. Brooks."

The Commandant was seated behind his great desk, in full uniform and looking not just a little pissed off, Ian could see. Ian, on the other hand, was in jeans, a t-shirt and a leather jacket – and needed a shave and a good night's sleep to help get rid of the dark circles under his eyes.

"Yes, Sir."

He turned and closed the door.

"You are AWOL, Mr. Brooks."

"I know, Sir. I'm sorry."

"Explain yourself."

"I… something unexpected came up and I had to leave the state, Sir."

"You should have called."

"Yes, Sir."

He knew that. He just couldn't have.

"It better not happen again, Mr. Brooks. I'm not a –"

"It won't happen again, Sir," Ian told him, interrupting. "I'm going to leave the academy."


	27. 27

"Leave the academy?"

Ian nodded.

"I want to resign, Sir. From the school."

The Commandant leaned back in his chair, looking up at Ian, who was still standing in the middle of the room.

"Have a seat, Mr. Brooks."

Ian did as he was told, waiting for the explosion that was sure to come, but the Commandant simply looked at him for a few long moments, his expression unreadable and his eyes flat and gray. Finally, he spoke, and his voice was just as toneless.

"Request denied."

"What?"

That wasn't what Ian had expected to hear.

"Is there a problem with your hearing, Mr. Brooks?"

"No, Sir."

"Let me ask you this; is there something wrong with you – something _physically_ wrong with you that makes you feel you are unable to complete your arrangement with this institution?"

Ian shook his head his.

"No, Sir. But I-"

"I've read your file, Mr. Brooks." He opened his desk drawer and pulled a manila file out of it, as if to prove that. Sure enough, it had Ian's name on it. "From your grades at the last exams, there's obviously nothing in your classes keeping you from continuing. You haven't missed a question on a quiz or exam since you've arrived."

Ian scowled.

"Sir. I just…"

"You just what, Ian?"

"I don't want to be here… I-"

"Let me explain something to you, Ian," the Commandant told him, leaning forward. "You made a commitment to this school – to the Military institution of the United States of America. You signed papers, and you've given your oath. That's fairly binding, young man."

"Yes, Sir, but-"

"Don't interrupt me."

"Sorry, Sir."

He scowled, though; annoyed that he was getting a lecture on top of everything else.

"Because you've signed the papers committing to this school, and _I_ am in charge of this school, that makes me ultimately in charge of you and your future. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, Sir. Which is why I'm asking _you_ to-"

"And why I'm telling you no."

"But-"

The Commandant sighed, and shook his head.

"Ian. I know you've had it rough the last few months – even longer. Rougher than you should have, certainly. But you've pulled through the difficulties amazingly well, and you've still managed to stay on the top of your class."

Ian shook his head. That was just because he was smart. Big deal.

"Colonel O'Neill came by to talk to me this morning."

"What?"

"O'Neill…" The Commandant repeated, knowing Ian had heard him just fine the first time. "The Air Force guy with the big dog? He came by to see me today, and we had a long discussion about you."

"Sir…"

"Jack asked me to transfer you – _temporarily_ – to Cheyenne Mountain. Apparently, he needs help with his long-range telemetry and he feels you might be able to come in handy with it."

"But-"

"There's more to it, I'm sure," The Commandant told him, waving a hand. "I don't know what it is Jack _actually_ does there, but I'm fairly certain _you_ don't know diddly-squat about deep space – although you could certainly pick it up quick enough. However, I told him I wasn't sure I was willing to allow the transfer."

"Good, because I don't-"

"Shut up, Mr. Brooks. Your father can interrupt me – most days – but _you_ can not."

"Sorry, Sir."

"I'm not worried about you falling behind if I allow him to take you from the school, and it's not uncommon for cadets to go to other bases and start internships of a sort – although these are usually done in the summer time, and almost exclusively by Seniors. What I'm worried about is allowing you a chance to run from whatever your problems are, _here_. I want you here in one piece, and unless you deal with whatever it is that caused you to run in the first place, I have no guarantee that you won't run again. This is what I told Jack O'Neill."

He waited, but Ian didn't say anything, and the Commandant sighed.

"This is what I'm going to do, Mr. Brooks. I am _not_ going to allow you to resign from the Academy. You have given your oath and your allegiance to this place, and to the country we're training you to defend, and I won't let you worm out of it – no matter how many times you go AWOL. Jack O'Neill wants you. I want you to talk to him and find out what he wants, and decide if it's something you're interested in doing. Then I want you to talk to Shawn Adams – who is still staying at the O'Neill's – and I want you to get whatever you're bottling up inside you out before you explode."

Ian stared at him, wondering how he could have known that it had anything to do with Shawn, but the Commandant didn't answer the unspoken question.

"You have until tomorrow morning at 0900 to do these things. At that time, I want you right back here in my office for another… chat. Do I make myself clear?"

Ian hesitated, but it was pretty apparent that the Commandant wasn't going to give him a chance to argue with him. He debated telling the General to fuck himself – see if he could get tossed out of the academy instead of resigning – but he had a feeling the old man would see right through that. Damn it. He was waiting for an answer, and looked as if he was willing to wait all day long if necessary, and Ian finally nodded, well aware that he didn't have any choice in the matter.

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. Get out of my office, Mr. Brooks. And don't you _dare_ leave Colorado Springs again without my permission."

"Yes, Sir."

If he did, chances were the next person coming to find him wouldn't be Daniel and Teal'c – it'd be his father.

He stood up and left the Commandant's office, the General still sitting at his desk as he walked out the door.


	28. 28

When he left the Commandant's office, Ian wasn't sure to be angry or relieved. Angry, because the old bastard had no business telling him what to do with his life – and certainly had no business keeping him in the academy when he obviously wanted to leave – although his argument had been pretty good for giving him that authority, Ian had to admit. There was enough truth in the whole _you're in the academy and I'm in charge of the academy so therefore I'm in charge of you_ thing that it might be real. Hell, there might even be a precedence or something to it. Maybe the old bastard _did_ have the authority to make him do whatever he wanted to… even if it meant keeping him in the academy. Obviously he could make him do whatever he wanted on school grounds, but could he really back up that order to talk to Shawn?

Relieved… because deep down Ian didn't like the fact that he didn't want to face Shawn. It smacked of cowardice and like the Commandant had said, he'd been running. And running wasn't something Ian _liked_ to do. If the Commandant could force him to face that, then Ian would have to do it, and doing it was something like taking medication that tasted like shit. It wasn't something you wanted to do, but once you choked it down and did it, you usually felt better. And Shawn probably had a right to have a chance to scream and yell and chew Ian out for the stupid idea he'd given him that had killed his parents. And Ian needed to see Shawn – even if it was only for a bit – because he had to make sure he was okay.

By the time he'd reached his room, he still wasn't sure how he felt, and he hadn't even had a chance to consider what the Commandant had told him about Jack coming to see him. He didn't even have time to wonder what Jack possibly could have in mind for him at Cheyenne Mountain, and presumably the SGC.

"Jesus, Brooks, what Salvation Army did you stop at to buy that suitcase?"

River couldn't help himself. Jack had arrived at his room – where River had been studying some flight simulation data – and had given him a quick summary of what had taken place, as far as he knew. He'd warned River that Ian looked worn out, and off-balance, and a whole host of other things, and River had planned on asking him if he was okay the first thing. And then he'd seen the ugly case that Ian was carrying, and couldn't help himself.

Just like Ian couldn't help his response, even though he was still distracted by the conversation with the Commandant.

"I didn't want your ugly pajamas feeling so lonely," he said as he closed the door and put the suitcase up on his bunk. "I figured they'd feel right at home in the closet with this thing."

River grinned, despite his worry for Ian, because Colonel O'Neill was right; Ian looked like shit. And even worse with that ugly suitcase that was just going to have to be burned some day. (And his _mom_ gave him those pajamas, and they weren't _that_ bad – at least no one ever wanted to steal them)

"I hear you went to LA."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"To look up your sisters."

"Dumb ass." He knew Ian knew he lived in San Diego.

Jack smiled slightly as he watched the exchange, reminded of the time when he was that age and he and his college roommates used to talk back at each other like that. Maybe worse at times, but not always. And _always_ about the other guys' sisters – but _never_ their mother, unless you wanted to get into a real fight with them, because that was the kind of thing that would get your ass kicked.

"So, River," Jack said – before Ian could say anything else. "Ian is coming back to the house for the night. Why don't you come, too?"

That was a calculated move on Jack's part – and one he'd already planned out. He needed to get the three of them – Shawn, River and Ian – together and on the same page, because they all needed to talk out the events of the last few days – with each other. Short of calling them all into a psychiatrist's office and locking the door with them inside so they could talk it out with a professional, this was the next best thing.

"I'd have to get a pass, Colonel," River said, looking at Ian. "And right now… the Commandant isn't all that happy about giving them out… all things considered."

"I discussed it with him earlier," Jack told him. "He knows I'm planning on inviting you, and doesn't have a problem with it."

Ian frowned, wondering what the hell Jack had in mind. Now that he wasn't thinking about the upcoming need for a meeting with Shawn – that was pretty much out of his hands – he was thinking about what the Commandant had said about Jack coming to see him earlier. And now he was wondering what Jack had in mind. Had he asked for all three of them to be transferred to the SGC? Or just Ian? And if not, why was he inviting River over, when Ian knew the Californian didn't really know all that much about the SGC? Not as much as Shawn and Ian did, at least.

River grinned, looking at Ian as if to ask if he minded. Ian wasn't even paying attention to his roommate, though. He was watching Jack, who was ignoring him – as much as he could, anyways, to watch River.

"Well?"

"River shrugged.

"Sounds good, Colonel. As long as the Commandant doesn't mind, I accept." He'd like the chance to check on Shawn, anyways – and the room was kind of lonely when there wasn't anyone there but him.

"Good."

Jack looked at the case Ian had brought in, then sat down on Shawn's bed and rubbed Jaffer's side.

"Stuff that thing in the closet and just grab a change of clothes, Ian."

Scowling, Ian did what he was told, grabbing up a pair of jeans and yet another nondescript white t-shirt, while River did the same, grabbing up a change of clothes and stuffing them into a backpack. He took Ian's clothes from him and put them in his bag, as well, and gave Jack a look that told him they were ready.

"Let's go."

Jack headed for the door, followed eagerly by Jaffer, then River, and finally by Ian, who lagged back a bit, still trying to figure out if the Commandant could really force him to leave – and then force him to _stay_ once he got back.

"Shotgun!"

Ian scowled, and climbed into the king cab with Jaffer, who left this seat immediately and moved to crowd Ian, silently asking for attention – which the New Yorker was more than willing to give him. Jack watched in the rearview mirror as Ian wrapped his arms around Jaffer, and buried his face in the thick winter coat, while Jaffer rumbled in happiness. Yup, _this_ was what the kid needed, not a trip across country alone.

He started the truck and pulled out of the parking lot.


	29. 29

River and Jack talked about unimportant things as they drove to Jack's, and for the life of him, Ian couldn't pay attention to what they were saying. Oh, if someone would have asked him a question, he could have pulled himself together enough to remember what had been said and answer, but they weren't talking to him – obviously aware that he wasn't really in the mood for small talk. Not that he ever was. Instead, he spent the first part of thedrive with his cheek resting against Jaffer – who didn't seem to have anything he'd rather do than be cuddled by Ian just then – and tried not to fall asleep.

And failed, because the next thing he knew, Jack was nudging his shoulder gently and he heard a car door slam.

"Ian? Wake up, buddy, we're here."

Opening his eyes, he lifted his head and looked sleepily at Jack, who gave him a slight smile.

"You look beat."

Ian nodded, and let Jaffer go, amazed that the dog had so much patience. The lab bounded out the open door – dodging past Jack – and ran towards the house to find Sam, overtaking River, who was halfway to the door already.

"I _feel_ awful."

"Yeah, it shows." Jack gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, and moved so Ian could get out of the truck. Young and healthy or not, there was only so much lack of sleep and junk food the body will allow before it starts to demand that it has better nutrition and more rest, and Ian was right there on that verge. "We'll get a decent meal into you and get you into bed."

Ian stumbled getting out of the truck, but Jack caught him – although he might have been able to catch himself, Jack was just faster. After that, though, he gained his feet and his equilibrium, and managed to walk a little straighter as the two of them headed for the door.

"He looks terrible," Sam said to Shawn as they watched Ian get out of the truck and stumble.

River made it to the door just in time to hear the comment, and he flexed, making a show of trying to look better.

"Hey, I work out. I eat right and I run a lot. What more do you _want_ from me?"

Sam smiled, and gave the cadet a hug.

"How are you, River?"

"Good, Major." He looked over his shoulder, and moved into the house and out of the doorway. "Better than some people…"

"Is he okay?" Shawn asked.

River shrugged.

"He's _tired_, I know… and… well, he looks like he's been dragged through it." River hesitated. "I'd bet he's still blaming himself…"

Sam shook her head, and patted Jaffer when he came back for another round of loving, and Shawn stepped up to the door to meet Jack and Ian as they came up. River had been right; Ian looked bad. Pale and beat – in more ways than one – and not at all like his usual cocky self. Of course, Shawn hadn't seen him since right before he'd been told about his parents, and he remembered with a guilty pang just what he'd said when he'd first heard that Ian was blaming himself for their deaths. He knew better now, of course, but it was obvious that Ian didn't.

Ian stopped at the step leading up to the door, looking at Shawn who was blocking the door. He felt a pang of guilt, and self-hatred, and remorse flooded through him. God, it was all his fault.

Jack hesitated, and started to say something to Ian, but Shawn moved outside and waved Jack in the door.

"Go ahead, Jack," he said, his eyes on Ian, who had paled even more – and Shawn wouldn't have thought that was possible. "Ian and I need to talk."

Jack nodded, and went inside, pulling Jaffer back in when the lab would have rushed outside to join Shawn and Ian. Sam looked at him, concerned, when Jack closed the door with Shawn and Ian on the other side.

"What-"

"Shawn wants to have a talk with Ian," Jack explained. "I don't think we should get in the way."

She hesitated, but only for a second. Of course Shawn should be the one to talk to Ian about this. He was probably the only one who'd be able to get through to him – although Sam had been intending to give it a shot. She nodded, and turned to River, who had stopped at the Wall to check it out like he did every time he came over, looking to see if there were any new pictures of Jaffer up. There was a leash missing, but that was the only thing different from his last visit.

"I was thinking about getting dinner started," Sam told him. "Want to help?"

"Sure."

He was always up for cooking.

OOOOOO

Shawn waited until he was certain that no one was going to come out the door, then he sat down on the step, ignoring the fact that the concrete was chilly and he wasn't wearing any shoes.

"Sit down, Ian…"

Brooks hesitated, but there wasn't really any choice. He sat down next to Shawn, not speaking or looking at him.

Shawn looked over at him, though, noting just how tired he looked, and how sad. It was how he himself would probably be looking if not for all the love and support that had been showered down on him since the moment he'd heard about his parents' deaths, and Shawn almost gave Ian a hug right then and there. But he held back, knowing that wasn't what Ian needed. Not right then, anyways. And probably not from Shawn.

"What happened wasn't your fault, you know…"

Ian shook his head, still not looking at him.

"It's all my fault, Shawn. It was my idea…"

"I gave them the tickets."

"Because I told you to. Over and over."

"I don't blame you."

Ian shrugged. He didn't need Shawn to blame him; he was doing a fine job on his own.

"Damn it, Ian. You need to pull yourself together. This wasn't your fault. It was an accident. A terrible thing that…" he stopped, choking up despite the fact that he thought he was over it all. "…that _never_ should have happened… but it did… and it wasn't because of you. If anything, it would be _my_ fault, because they weren't so sure they should take the time to go, and _I_ convinced them otherwise. _Me_. Not you. You didn't do anything wrong, and neither did I. We were just trying to do a good thing – and it _was_ a good thing."

He was quiet for a minute, watching Ian, who wasn't looking at him.

"You're a smart guy, Ian, but sometimes I think your memory gets in the way."

Ian looked over at him, and Shawn could see he was close to tears.

"What do you mean?"

"You can't forget things… most people; they live through something and then they start to forget about it. Someday I won't remember just how bad it hurt when I was told about mom and dad. I'll still miss them, but it won't be the horrible ache that it was at first – and that's already starting to fade a little. But you… you remember it like it was yesterday. I bet you still remember what it felt like to get shot, don't you?"

He nodded. He could remember it like it had just happened.

"That's your weakness, Ian," Shawn told him. "You can't forget the bad things like people should be able to, and it eats away at you. Probably it starts seeming worse and worse the longer you think about it, until it's so horrible, it's worse now than it ever could have been to start with." The way Ian brooded about everything, Shawn would have bet he was right on the money with that one.

He put his hand on Ian's arm.

"You can't let these things do that to you. We need you too much for you to fall apart like this – especially over something that you had no control over."

As much as he annoyed them with his temper and his snide comments and observations, Shawn was used to him being like that – and that was part of Ian's character. An integral part of it. And necessary.

It was obvious that Ian was considering what Shawn said – and Shawn knew he could have said it over and over again to make him aware of just how serious he was – but he only needed to hear it once, Shawn decided. Now he needed time to brood about it and think it over. Given that time, Shawn knew Ian would see he was right. He was a smart guy, after all, and it wasn't too complicated to figure out.

He shivered and stood up.

"I'm going inside."

Ian nodded, but didn't make any move to follow him. Sure enough, he was already thinking it over.


	30. 30

Jack looked up when Shawn walked into the house alone. He had pulled Jaffer's brush out and was brushing the lab while the two of them sat in front of a fire that Shawn had started in the fireplace.

"You okay?"

Shawn nodded, and came over and knelt down beside Jaffer, who wagged a hello but refused to move from his spot, since that would have stopped his brushing – and Jaffer loved to be brushed. Almost as much as Jack loved doing it.

"I'm fine, Jack."

"And Ian?"

Shawn shrugged.

"I don't know."

"But you talked to him and did your best to get through to him…"

"Yeah."

"Then that's all you can do." Jack moved the brush from Jaffer's shoulder and started under the lab's head, brushing his neck and chest. "He's not stupid. He'll figure it out."

"I hope he does it before he freezes to death…"

Jack smiled.

"He'll come in when he gets cold."

Shawn shrugged, and stroked Jaffer's shoulder, which was shining with good health in the firelight.

"You need help?"

"Nah. You might go make sure Sam's okay, though. River's helping her make dinner."

Shawn nodded, and got to his feet, leaving Jack and Jaffer to their quiet time, and wandered towards the kitchen, where River had the fridge open and was rifling through it, while Sam watched.

"What's he doing?" Shawn asked, coming over to stand next to her and watch as well.

"I'm going to make dinner." River told him, although his voice was muffled by the fact that his head was literally in the fridge.

"The _cereal_ is in the cupboard."

Sam grinned, and nudged Shawn with her elbow.

"He says he can make Chicken Chasseur."

"I _can_," River told her, straightening up with a handful of various foods in his hands. "But, we'll need more chicken."

"What's Chicken Chasseur?" Shawn asked.

"Hunter's chicken," River said. "It's a French dish. Really good."

"And you can make it?" Shawn couldn't help but look skeptical.

"I happen to be a great cook," River said. "Didn't I help in the kitchen on Thanksgiving?"

"You peeled potatoes…"

"But I could have done more if your grandmother would have allowed me to."

Sam smiled, and shrugged. The worst he could do was make a mess and burn down the house, after all.

"Well, why don't you take Shawn to the store and get whatever you might need?"

"Do you have white wine? Or Vermouth?"

"I think so."

"Good, because I'm not old enough to buy that." He smiled, and set everything back in the fridge, while Sam went into the living room to get her keys.

"What's up?" Jack asked, hearing the tinkling of the keys and looking up to see where she was going.

"River needs more chicken to make dinner, so I'm sending him and Shawn off to get what they need."

"_River_ needs…?"

Sam smiled.

"He's cooking – and he says he can do it."

"I can," River told them, taking the car keys from Sam. "I have a million sisters, after all. Someone had to learn to cook – otherwise we'd have starved while they were out shopping."

Jack grinned.

"You need money?"

"Nope."

Shawn slid his shoes on and grabbed his jacket, while Sam walked to the window and looked out. Ian was still sitting on the porch.

"Send Ian inside when you leave, guys. I don't want him freezing."

"Yes, Ma'am."

That was as good a way to get him inside as any.

"And get extra chicken, River," Sam said. "Daniel and Sally might be by later."

"Daniel will for sure," Jack said.

"Yes, Ma'am."

They opened the door and looked at Jaffer, who was normally the first one to want to go anywhere. This time, however, the lab stayed right where he was. Being brushed was almost as good as being bathed, because it was just another way to get Jack to rub his hands all over him, and Jaffer thrived on Jack's touch and always had. The black lab had no intention of going anywhere until he was finished being brushed.

Recognizing this, the two cadets closed the door behind them and stepped around Ian, then stopped and looked down at him.

"Hey, we're going to the store. Want to come?"

Ian shook his head.

"I'd rather be eaten by killer bees."

"Dipshit, bees don't _eat_ people."

"Then I guess I'm safe from both possibilities, aren't I?"

Shawn smiled.

"Sam wants you to go inside."

Ian nodded and stood up, slowly, because he was stiff and pretty chilled. It was way too cold out to be sitting on the porch, even for the short time he had been there.

"You want us to bring you anything?" River offered.

"A pomegranate," Ian said, reaching for the doorknob. "A couple of them."

"That's it?"

"Yup. Drive safe."

He thought about warning them about watching out for little kids that might be hanging out in the dairy aisle filled with advice, but decided that ole Corey probably was in bed by now – it was after dark, after all. Instead, he walked in the house, feeling a blast of warmth hit him after being outside for so long.

Sam had gone to the sofa and was sitting down on it when Ian came in, and she gave him a gentle smile, patting the spot next to her in an invitation for him to join her there. An invitation he wouldn't refuse. He walked over and sat down, close enough to be close, and yet still not in her personal space.

"How do you feel?" She asked him.

He shrugged, "I'm okay. How's the baby?"

Sam smiled, knowing he'd done that on purpose to get the conversation off him. And she let him.

"He's fine. I think he's sleeping right now."

"_She_." Jack corrected from the floor.

Ian smiled, then, and shook his head, but before he could say anything else, Jack stood up, setting the brush on the mantle and slapping Jaffer's shoulder.

"While the guys are gone, it's a good time for you and us to have a discussion."

Ian looked up at him as he walked over.

"About?"

He didn't feel like talking about how he felt just then, or how he was doing. And he was certain they didn't know what was in the suitcase in his room or Jack would probably have called him on it, already.

"Your future," Jack said. "At least… your future for the next several months…"


	31. 31

"My future, huh?" Ian looked at Sam, and then back at Jack. "This wouldn't have something to do with you visiting the Commandant this morning, would it?"

"You know about that?" Jack asked.

Ian nodded.

"He told me when I went in to talk to him when you dropped me off. I tried to resign from the academy today."

"You what?"

There was dismay in Sam's voice, and Ian turned back to her.

"I tried to leave the academy. I-"

"_Tried_? Meaning you _didn't_?" Jack interrupted.

"What would you do something like that for?" Sam asked, resting her hand on Ian's shoulder.

"It seemed like the thing to do," he said, softly, feeling the guilt rising up in him once more. "I… I don't really have a reason for being there, you know. I never have, really."

"Ian…"

Sam interrupted Jack, though.

"We're back to the whole not knowing what you want to do with your life thing, again?"

Ian shrugged. "It's a little more than just that, Sam," he said. "I… I didn't think Shawn would want anything to do with me, and I still don't think that me being in the same room with him – reminding him that it was my idea to get his parents on that plane in the first place – is going to make him feel all that great."

"_Shawn_ doesn't blame you."

He nodded.

"I know. He told me. But it doesn't make it any less true that it's my fault."

"You can't leave the academy, Ian," Jack said. "There's all-"

"It doesn't matter, Jack," Ian interrupted. "The Commandant wouldn't let me. He said he didn't want to let me run away from my problems." Ian scowled. "So instead, I get to constantly remind Shawn day after day what I did and what _he's_ lost."

"I think the bigger problem is you seeing Shawn and being reminded of what you think you're guilty of – something that you're not," Sam said, softly.

He paused, because she was right, too. Seeing Shawn hurt Ian – probably more than Shawn seeing him did, since Adams had already told him he didn't think he was to blame. Ian knew Shawn had meant it, but it didn't make him feel any less guilty himself. Being around Shawn reminded him of what he'd done. He could remember easily the conversation he'd had with the younger cadet, telling him over and over again just how great New York was, and how much of a good time his folks would have there. Basically, he'd nagged until Shawn had capitulated, and Ian remembered how pleased he'd felt, then, too. It made him feel sick, now. Shawn was right; being able to remember things so well wasn't always a gift. In this case it was a curse.

Sam and Jack watched as several emotions played across Ian's expression, his eyes sad and bleak and his face a mask of guilt and sorrow. Sam squeezed his shoulder, drawing his attention from his inner thoughts back to them.

"We have a solution to that – of sorts."

Ian looked at her and Sam looked at Jack. He could explain it better than she could.

"Sam's getting too far along in the pregnancy to be going through the gate, Ian." Jack told him, sitting down on the arm of the sofa next to her. "We're afraid she could hurt herself on a mission – or worse, that the gate could harm the baby, somehow."

"It can't," Ian said. "Not unless there was a gravitational flux in the wormhole stream while she was entering it."

They both stared at him, surprised.

"How do you know that?" Sam asked.

Ian was instantly chagrined, and he tried to cover it with a shrug.

"It's just a guess. I've been thinking about the stargate a lot lately… and with Sam pregnant, I'd been thinking about how it might affect the baby. I could be wrong."

"And you could be right," Jack said, accepting the story, even though he knew there was something more to it, because Ian was a terrible liar, and it was obvious he wasn't telling the whole truth. "But we don't want to risk the baby's health – or Sam's."

"So I'm being grounded."

"Here?" Ian asked, meaning the house.

Sam shook her head.

"I'll still be going to the base, but I'm not going to be going on missions. I'll be doing lab work."

"With non lethal things," Jack added. "Things that won't blow up, and things that can't hurt the baby by being close by."

"But that puts SG-1 one person short of a team," Sam said.

"Which is where you come in."

Ian looked at Jack, wondering what he meant.

"You want me to suggest someone?" He didn't know all _that_ many people in the Air Force. And he'd never suggest anyone from the academy – none of the Seniors, anyways. They were all a bunch of arro-

"No," Jack said, shaking his head. "We want you to take Sam's place on SG-1. Until she has the baby and is ready to come back full time."

"I don't think so," Ian said, shaking his head. "I don't know anything about-"

"You know enough," Sam told him. "And you're a quick learner. You're smart enough to get things on the first try, and with your memory we wouldn't have to keep explaining them to you until you learned it by rote. Bra'tac tells Jack you're adept at learning new weaponry and self defense, so that's not a problem. It'd also give you a chance to decide if being in the SGC is something you might be interested in doing with your life once you graduate. Kind of like an internship, sort of."

The Commandant had mentioned an internship, but Ian had thought it'd be under Sam – not Jack. Doing some kind of research.

"We think it's the best solution, Ian," Jack said.

"Hammond agreed to this?"

They both nodded.

"He thinks you're a bit rough around the edges – and you _are_ – but you already get along well with everyone on the team, so there won't be any getting to know you time like there would be if we tried to bring in someone else."

Ian shook his head.

"I don't think…"

"You'd be great," Sam told him, giving him a reassuring smile, and Jack held his tongue, letting Sam do the talking, now. She was much better at getting Ian to do things he didn't want to do than _he_ was.

"I don't know… it sounds like an ideal solution…" and it did. But… "…where would I live during this time? The Academy? I don't-"

"No," Sam said, shaking her head. "That wouldn't solve anything – and if you were at the academy, people would wonder about you coming and going at all odd hours of the day and night. Despite what you think, we have weird hours at times."

"Especially if something comes up," Jack added.

"The base?" Ian asked, frowning. The last place he'd want to live was on a secret military base. He knew from Bra'tac that Teal'c lived there, but Teal'c could use the gate and visit his son or Bra'tac when he wanted to – and Teal'c had Jack (the dog) to keep him company. Ian didn't want to live surrounded by a bunch of guards and concrete. Shit, he'd be better off staying at the academy.

"No," Sam said, smiling.

"Not _here_," Ian told them, looking around. "You guys need the room for the baby, and –"

"And you need – and _deserve_ – a little more privacy than what we could give you here," Jack said, interrupting. "We have someplace else in mind. Someplace that needs a caretaker of sorts."

"Where?"

"Daniel's place," Sam said.

"What?"

"Daniel's apartment. As of tomorrow, he's moved in with Sally – they're getting married, and like us, they didn't see any need to wait to live together – and someone has to live there."

"Someone with _clearance_," Jack added. "Otherwise we have to pack everything up immediately, instead of giving him time to figure out what to do with it. Some stuff is his – most of it is – but a lot of them are things he's picked up _elsewhere_. Things that people would actually have to study to know that they weren't from here, but which could be figured out eventually – if the wrong people were studying them."

"So I could live there…?"

Sam nodded; glad to see that he seemed to like that idea.

"Why not? You're an adult. You deserve a place of your own when you're not on base."

"Which leads us to transportation," Jack said. "It's not easy getting from point A to point B without wheels, and we'll need you to be mobile – which means you need your own vehicle."

He had Ian's full attention, now.

"A Hum-Vee?" Ian asked, almost hopefully.

Sam smiled, and shook her head.

"My car."

Ian frowned.

"Your car?"

She shrugged.

"It won't be much longer before I can't fit behind the wheel – and it's already uncomfortable getting in and out of it. So, Jack can drive me in the truck, which is easier on me, and frees up a vehicle for you to use."

"And if we end up staying late on base – or off-world – Sam can have the truck to drive home, which will give her a lot more metal around her in case of an accident or something, and you can drop me off before you go home."

Sam nodded, still watching Ian, who was literally stunned. It certainly sounded like they'd been doing some considering, that was for sure. And although it seemed like they were almost bribing him to get him to come work with SG-1 (a place of his own, _and_ a convertible to drive while he was using it?) it made sense when they said it like that.

"What do you think?" Sam asked.

Ian hesitated, unwilling to agree to anything so important without giving it a little consideration of his own – even though they obviously had everything planned out.

"Let me think about it for a while…?"

They both nodded.

"Not too long, though," Jack told him. "She's not getting any _less_ pregnant, you know?"

Ian smiled, despite his uncertainty. He didn't have a lot of time to think about it anyways. Only until 9 AM the next morning. That was when he had to meet with the Commandant again.

"Yes, Sir."


	32. 32

_Author's Note: Sorry this one took so long to get out. Lots of distractions today!_

OOOOOO

"Dinner won't be for a while," Sam told Ian. "River says it won't take long once he gets started, but that won't be until they get back from the store, at least. Would you like something to snack on until then?"

"You're letting him _cook_?"

She smiled.

"Just because _you_ can't cook, it doesn't mean _he_ can't."

"Have you eaten anything he's ever cooked?"

"Have _you_?"

He shook his head.

"I didn't know he _could_ cook. What are we having?"

"Chicken."

"KFC?"

Jack snorted, and Sam wasn't sure who to whack first.

"Chicken _Chasseur_, smart guy." She told him. "You know what that is?"

"Something about a hunter…"

She smiled.

"Hunter's chicken. You speak French?"

He shrugged.

"A little. I read one of those teach yourself books… Not enough to hold a real conversation or anything." He looked down at himself, and decided that more than something to eat, what he really needed was to get cleaned – and warmed up. "I think I'll take a shower."

Since he looked scruffy – especially for him – Sam couldn't agree more, although she didn't say anything. Instead she just nodded.

"I'll get you a towel."

"You stay put," he told her, standing up. "I know where they are."

Jack nodded his approval to that; glad he wasn't the only one who thought Sam shouldn't be jumping up and taking care of everyone's needs. Especially when they could do it themselves. He pointed out the bag that River had loaded with their clothes back at the academy, and took the spot next to Sam that Ian had just vacated.

The two of them watched as he disappeared into the bathroom, and then Jack wrapped an arm around Sam, cuddling close.

"Think he's going to go for it?"

She hesitated, but then nodded.

"It makes sense, and he'll see that, once he's had a chance to think it over."

"And if he doesn't, you'll talk him into it, right?"

She smiled, and rested her head on his shoulder.

"If I need to, I will."

OOOOOOOOO

"So think this through…" Ian muttered to himself as he stepped under the spray of hot water. For a minute, though, he couldn't think about anything. The water was perfect and for the first little while, all he could do was soak up the warmth that was loosening muscles that had been tense for far too long. He sighed in pleasure and lifted his face into the spray. Now he could focus a little more on what was in front of him.

They obviously wanted him to be on SG-1. Even Sam – who was the one he was going to be replacing. It wouldn't be permanent, of course, but it would be for a few months at least – and he actually liked the thought of being able to go offworld. Not to mention, he liked the thought that he could be near the Stargate, and the technology that was going to be looking more and more familiar to him as the weeks and months passed. Even better, he'd have his own place to stay – which meant a secure place to hide Dotty's suitcase of Ancient devices. That right there was almost enough to decide him, because sure as shit, if it was left at the academy, eventually someone was going to look in it and get hurt picking something up they should just keep their hands off of.

Add in the thought of having access to Sam's convertible – and Ian was young enough and cocky enough to like the thought of driving a car like that to work every day that it made a difference – and he was really giving their offer serious consideration, when normally he wouldn't.

There were a few cons, of course, and as Ian reached for the soap and started lathering himself, he gave them as much consideration as he had given the pros.

The first – and biggest – was that he wouldn't be able to be right there to watch Shawn. That was a serious negative, because as time passed, he was learning more and more just how important Shawn really was – and not to Earth. Of course, he was also going to be in position to know when and if anyone actually came through the gate looking to cause trouble – and would know through the resources at NORAD if anyone came planet side. Of course, the biggest threat to Shawn was the Ashrak, Ian knew, and Alexander had told Ian of Jack's own ability to know when there were Ashrak on Earth – through headaches – and Ian would be close to Jack and would be able to know immediately of that was an issue. And that was almost as good as sitting back at the academy waiting for the Ashrak to come after them there…

There were other things to consider, of course. His parents would wonder what Ian was doing – and he really didn't think Nathan would buy the whole internship thing. He might, though. If he said he was doing the internship under Sam – working with her in the lab. It wasn't like Nathan could just pop and see what he was doing, after all. General or not, Cheyenne Mountain was secure, and if Nathan came for a visit, he'd have to get an escort onto the base. Which would give Ian time to join up with Sam in the lab. Or, if he was offworld, they could tell Nathan that Ian was out of town for the afternoon on some kind of fact finding mission – which probably wouldn't be all that much of a lie.

All in all, though… Ian was pretty much ready to agree to the idea by the time he came out of the shower, freshly shaved and cleaned up, and feeling a fair bit better for having had a chance to think things through without any distractions. He dried off and dressed – just jeans and a t-shirt – and left the bathroom with very few reservations about what they were asking him to do. And those were really things that he'd need to talk through with River. And of course, he'd still have to meet with the Commandant.


	33. 33

Sam was walking down the hall when Ian came out of the bathroom, carrying his dirty clothes in his hands and feeling pretty good. She smiled when she saw him, and before he could move out of the way, she ran her hand along his chin and cheek.

"You shaved. Good. You're _far_ too good looking to be scruffy."

And he blushed. _Brilliantly_.

Sam's smile grew, because she _knew_ she was going to make him blush, but she just couldn't help herself. He always looked so serious – and most of the time he _was_ – that she just wanted to see him smile, or at least break through that cool exterior. She happened to know that he had a wonderful sense of humor when he unleashed it, and although he hadn't had many reasons to smile lately, she'd wanted to see it.

He smiled, despite his blushes, because she looked so impish just then that he couldn't even scowl like he might have if it had been his mother telling him that – and those were the only two women he could think of that could make him blush.

Before he could say anything, Sam took his clothes from him.

"River and Shawn are back, so you can see if you can help them in the kitchen."

"I can always hold the fire extinguisher."

"I think Jack beat you to that job."

Ian smiled and he and Sam walked out into the dining room, where Jack was sitting at the table, although his chair was facing away from the table and in the direction of the kitchen.

Sam headed for the laundry room before Ian could protest that she didn't need to wash his clothes – she wouldn't have listened to him anyways – and Ian went and took the chair beside Jack's, turning it so it, too, was facing the kitchen. Shawn and River were in the kitchen; Shawn unloading grocery bags and River pulling out a skillet.

"They didn't have any pomegranates, Ian," Shawn told him, looking over at him.

Ian scowled, but he didn't say anything, and Jack looked over at him.

"You asked them to bring you _pomegranates_?"

The cadet shrugged.

"They're good."

"Yeah, but _I_ could have told you they were out of season," Jack told him. "I tried to get some the other day."

Ian smiled, despite himself. Yeah, he and Jack were both hooked on the damned things. And apparently, they were going to have to wait another God only knew who long until they were back in season. Which meant that Ian needed to jump online and find out when they'd be back in stores.

"Crap."

"Sorry," Shawn told him, pulling out chicken and handing it to River, who had found the cutting board and was already starting to chop things. The way he was doing it made it appear that he really did know what he was doing. "We brought you some bananas."

The smile turned into a scowl, but he shrugged again. He didn't like bananas all that much, but he liked Shawn, and he didn't want to make a big deal out of something that wasn't a big deal.

"Thanks."

Shawn seemed to know what was going through his mind, and the younger cadet smiled and tossed him the bunch of bananas that had been sitting on the counter, his eyes twinkling with cheer that Jack was glad to see since he hadn't seen him looking so cheerful in days.

Ian caught them, and with a sigh took one and started peeling it. Great.

Jack watched River chopping chicken and then looked at Ian.

"You _do_ realize that since they're cooking, we're going to have to do the dishes?"

"Not if they burn the house down," Ian told him, taking a bite of his banana.

"I heard that," River said from the stove. He didn't look up, though. "Just for that, I'm going to be _extra_ messy."

Jack scowled at Ian.

"Go into the living room and watch TV with Sam. I don't need your help."

Ian gave him an innocent look.

"What did I say?"

"Sam! Call Ian."

They heard her chuckle from the laundry room and she appeared a moment later.

"Is he in the way?"

"No. Just make him watch TV with you or something."

"Come on, Ian," Sam told him. "You can keep me company."

He stood up, tossed his banana peel into the garbage, stuffed the rest of the banana into his mouth and headed into the living room with Sam. She was watching a documentary on the rise and fall of the Roman Empire – a topic Ian didn't find all that interesting. He didn't admit that, though. Instead, he sat down on the sofa with her, and Jaffer hopped up between them, resting his head on Sam's thigh while Ian leaned back into the cushions.

His eyes closed almost immediately. He was warm, and clean, and in a place where the people around him loved him and cared for him. While Sam watched in gentle amusement, Ian fell asleep, and a moment later Jaffer did, too.

OOOOOO

True to his word, River's chicken dinner was done in less than half an hour. While he cooked the chicken – in the skillet, instead of baking or anything, like Sam had expected – Shawn made pasta with a bottled alfredo sauce that turned out pretty normal looking that River said would go well with the chicken.

Jack moved out of the way so they could set the table and came out to the living room, leaning over the back of the couch to steal a kiss from Sam.

"He fell asleep?"

Sam nodded, and shushed him.

"Don't wake him up."

Jack didn't have any intention of waking him – although he did scowl at the realization he was going to end up doing the dishes alone, now. Ian probably needed the rest as much as he needed a good meal, and Jack knew that as well a anyone – and better than most.

"Dinner's ready."

Jaffer woke up at those words and jumped off the couch smoothly, already heading for the kitchen. He'd had a good night's sleep and hadn't been driving across country the last couple of days, and he wanted to eat, too!

Sam smiled at the lab's enthusiasm and let Jack help her to her feet, although it wasn't completely necessary just yet. The two of them joined the others in the dining room, leaving Ian to his nap. Short as it probably would be. They could always feed him leftovers.


	34. 34

They were halfway through dinner when Jaffer gave Jack the warning. It was simple enough. His head came up and he looked toward the door, and then an instant later, he bolted for it, his tail wagging furiously. Which told Jack – and Sam – that someone was coming. Someone he liked.

Jack went for the door almost as quickly, looking over at Ian as he did so to make sure the cadet was still asleep. Which he was.

Jack opened the door before Daniel even had a chance to raise his hand to knock, and the archeologist stared at him, surprised.

"Hey."

"Shhh."

"Um… okay."

Jack gestured for Daniel to come into the house, closing the door quietly behind him, and pointed at the sleeping cadet to explain why they were being so quiet. Daniel nodded and walked with Jack and Jaffer to the dining room, where the others greeted him with soft hellos and smiles.

"Smells good," Daniel said, looking at the chicken dish on the table.

"Have a seat," Sam said, pointing to the plate that would have been Ian's. "There's plenty."

"What is it?"

"Chicken Chateau," Jack told him, resuming his own seat. "It's good."

Daniel looked at him for a moment, and then gave a purely mental shrug. He didn't know, and it really didn't matter, he supposed. Besides, it did smell good. He dished some up.

"Is Ian alright?"

Sam nodded.

"He's only been asleep a little while."

"And did you ask him?"

"Yes."

"What did he say?"

"Ask him what?" Shawn asked, curiously.

"He's thinking about it," Sam answered. "If I had to guess, though, I'd say he was going to accept."

"Accept what?" River asked, just as curious as Shawn.

Jack smiled and took a bite of his chicken.

"Can't tell you… it's secret stuff."

Shawn knew better, though. If it _had_ been classified, Daniel never would have brought it up – and if he _had_ accidentally mentioned it, Jack would have given him one of those killer looks he had for just such an occasion.

"Come on, what it is?"

"It's… _classified_," Jack said.

"Jack…" Shawn hated not knowing something – especially when it was something that obviously involved Ian. "Tell us…"

"If I tell you, will you do the dishes?"

Sam snorted.

Daniel looked over at her to make sure she was okay, but her eyes were smiling, even though she was doing her best to keep a straight face. Shawn looked over at her, hopefully.

"Sam…"

She shook her head.

"We'll do the dishes," River promised. "What is it?" He didn't like not knowing, either. And he knew that the dishes weren't going to be all that hard.

"Deal," Jack said, smiling triumphantly. Bwahahahahahaha. He didn't have to do the dishes, after all. What a great day. "Tell them, Sam."

She hid her amusement as well as she could, and gave an edited version of what they wanted Ian to do – skipping the offworld part, since River didn't really have that kind of clearance. She simply said that they offered Ian a chance to do a type of internship – under Jack – and explained it would be a good way for the New Yorker to decide if he wanted to be with the SGC later on in his career.

Shawn knew what she meant, though, and he frowned.

"Isn't he a bit young?"

"He's the same age as a lot of the Privates and Corporals the Marines have guarding the facility," Jack said. "And several of the other members of SG teams are just as young. As long as they have experienced Commanding officers to make sure they live to be old – and I'd say I qualify as an experienced officer – then they do fine. And so will he."

Sam nodded her agreement.

"He's going to live on the base?" River asked.

"He's going to live at Daniel's."

They both looked at the archeologist, who in turn, looked at Jack.

"Speaking of which, I'm not going to be out of there until tomorrow afternoon – at the earliest. For obvious reasons."

Meaning he was thrown off schedule by his sudden beaming to LA and the subsequent drive home.

"You're moving, Daniel?" Shawn asked.

Daniel nodded, but he'd just taken a big bite of pasta, so he didn't try to explain.

"He's going to have his own place?" River asked. "Nice…" They could see that he was trying to decide what _he'd_ be doing with his own place if it was him, and Jack scowled.

"It's not a bachelor pad or anything. It'd just be more convenient for everyone involved if he didn't have to keep checking in at the academy."

"And you wouldn't have to explain the odd hours…" Shawn added.

"Exactly."

"He agreed to it?" Shawn asked.

"He's thinking about it," Sam repeated.

"Are you guys okay with this?" Jack asked. "You'll be losing your roommate for a few months – probably until the next school year."

River shrugged, looking over at the couch as if to make sure Ian was still asleep.

"To be perfectly honest, Colonel, I thought he was going to do something dumb like try to resign or something. The way he's been acting lately…"

Sam and Jack looked at each other, but in the glance Jack told her they wouldn't mention that he actually had. If Ian wanted to tell them, that was up to him. They'd already done enough talking about him while he was asleep.

Daniel pushed his plate back and everyone's attention was drawn to him. He was already finished eating.

"I was hungry," he told them, defensively. He hadn't eaten any better than Ian or Teal'c on the way home, after all, and he'd been tired when he'd returned, so instead of eating, he'd gone to bed.

"And it was _good_, right?" River asked.

"It was _great_." He stood up. "I need to get going. It's late, and Sally is waiting for me."

Sam was the one to get up to walk Daniel out – with Jaffer, of course – and she smiled as she opened the door.

"We'll see you Monday."

He nodded, "Call and let me know what you hear."

She promised she would, and he left. Sam closed the door and went back into the dining room, stopping long enough to cover Ian with the throw that was almost always on the back of the couch. He was out cold, and it didn't appear that he was going to wake up and have dinner with them.

She sat back down and they finished eating, and then despite his scheming earlier, Jack helped the cadets do the dishes while Sam sat at the table and enjoyed a quiet cup of tea while she watched them. They left the dishes in the drainer to dry and then Shawn played rock paper scissors for the bed in the back room – the loser would be forced to sleep on the floor with sleeping bags.

"Bah."

River grinned, and stretched.

"It's only fair. I did most of the cooking, after all. You wouldn't make chef Boyardee sleep on the floor after cooking up some spaghettios would you?"

Shawn didn't reply; he just muttered something under his breath, and Sam showed River where the towels, extra blankets and pillows were while Jack pulled a couple sleeping bags out of the closet for Shawn, who spread them out in front of the dying fire. He'd be warm enough, and there were worst places to sleep, he supposed.

Then they all went to bed. (except Shawn, who went to floor).


	35. 35

His stomach woke him up. A growl that rumbled so hard it actually _hurt_ – although it probably wasn't that loud. Ian opened his eyes and stared into the darkness, reorienting himself, since this wasn't what the house had been like when he'd fallen asleep. Then it had been lit up with murmuring in the background as Shawn and River made dinner – damn, he'd missed dinner – and now it was dark and quiet, and he had a feeling it was well past midnight.

He looked at his watch, hitting the light on it to illuminate the hands, and saw that not only was it well past midnight, but it was morning. _Early_ morning, but morning nonetheless. Too late really to go back to sleep, and as much as his stomach was bothering him with its grumbling, Ian had to eat something.

Silently, he rolled off the couch, trusting his memory of where everything had been the night before (and hoping no one moved anything) to navigate to the kitchen, where he turned on the light and bit back a curse when he damn near blinded himself as the room lit up.

"Gah…"

He waited until he could see again, and then headed for the fridge, hoping there'd be something left over from dinner.

"There's no chicken left."

Ian managed to bite back the surprise as he heard Shawn's voice behind him, and turned, still holding the fridge open. Shawn was standing at the doorway, wearing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and looking as if he'd just woken up – which he had.

"What?"

"We ate it all, sorry."

Crap.

"It's all right."

"We thought about waking you up, but Sam wanted to let you sleep."

"It's okay." He would have liked some chicken, but sleep was obviously something he had needed, too. Ah well. "I'll make some toast or something."

"There's eggs."

Which implied _cooking_. Ian wasn't quite as worthless in the kitchen as most people thought he was – and he didn't mind letting them think it – but he wasn't all that great, either. He could fry an egg, though. Well, it'd end up scrambled, since he couldn't seem to flip them without having them get all broken and messed up, but it'd be something to eat anyways.

He sighed, and pulled out a dozen eggs and set them on the counter.

"You hungry?"

Shawn shrugged, and nodded.

"I could eat."

"Did I wake you?"

He nodded again.

"I wasn't sleeping that well, anyways, though, so it's no big deal."

Ian nodded, but before he could wonder why Shawn was having trouble sleeping, the younger cadet spoke up again.

"I lost the bid for the bed, so I got stuck with the floor – which is _not_ the most comfortable bed in the world, no matter how many sleeping bags Jack piled on it."

Ian smiled, and fished a skillet out of the drawer under the stove.

"You should have woken me up. I'd have kicked River out of the bed for you."

Shawn chuckled and pulled a loaf of bread out of the breadbox, telling Ian he'd make the toast.

"He won fair and square. Besides, I'll be back in my own bed tonight."

"You're going back to school today?"

Shawn nodded, pulling the toaster down and setting it on the counter.

"It's time. I'm over the worst of it, and I need to get back into the swing of things before I fall too far behind."

"You'd be able to catch up."

It wasn't empty boast; Ian knew Shawn wasn't in over his head at school, and the classes were good for him, but they weren't so challenging that he could fall behind easily.

Shawn nodded.

"But I need to get back." He hesitated. "Sam told us about what they want you to do the next few months…"

Ian looked over at him, surprised.

"She did?"

"Well, not exactly – since _River_ doesn't know everything – but I do, and I know what you're going to be doing."

"I haven't decided to do it, yet."

Shawn shrugged.

"It sounds like a great opportunity. A bit dangerous, maybe, but that's not something that will stop you."

"I'm not worried about getting hurt or anything," Ian said, turning on the stove and setting the pan on the burner.

"What are you worried about, then?" Shawn asked curiously.

"You."

"Me?"

Ian nodded.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"There's a lot of weird shit going on around you, Shawn," Ian told him. "Pretty much since day one since I've met you and even before then I bet. I'm not going to be there to keep an eye on things and make sure no one's fucking with you."

Shawn smiled, although he hid it from Ian, turning to take bread out of the bag and start the toaster. What a far cry from the jerk who'd been the first to pick on him at the beginning of the year! Shawn knew what Ian meant, though, and he knew it wasn't just Ian trying to make up for the way he'd been that first day. Ian was one of those guys that really _was_ an asshole to those he didn't know – or didn't _like_ – but when he decided that he did like you, he would be the first to stick up for you, or jump someone who might be doing something he didn't like or saying something he didn't like.

"I'll be fine. This really is a good opportunity for you, and you're smart enough to know it."

Yeah, he knew it. But still…

Shawn turned from watching the toaster to watching Ian, who was breaking eggs into the pan.

"If I need help with something, I'll call you."

"Yeah?"

He nodded.

"Sure. Even if it's just to get you to beat someone up for me…"

Ian smiled.

"I'm not your hit man, Adams."

Which didn't mean he _wouldn't_ beat someone up for him.

"You really should take advantage of what they're offering you…"

"Would _you_ do it?"

"Work with Jack? In a minute." The answer was immediate, and sincere. "I'm a bit young, though. Otherwise I'd probably be jealous and wish it was me."

"Yeah?"

Shawn nodded.

Ian turned his attention back to the eggs, but Shawn could tell he was still considering things. Of course, he probably never _stopped_ considering things. Shawn didn't press, though, knowing that Ian wasn't a guy that liked to be pressured into things – even things that he was considering doing. He'd had his say, though, and really if that was what was keeping Ian from joining SG-1 – even temporarily – then now he knew better. It was simply a matter of leaving him alone and letting him think it through.

They finished making their breakfast, still chatting occasionally, but now they were talking about Shawn's classes and how his schedule was going. Basically, the same things they normally would be discussing this time of day – although they never made their own breakfast at the academy – which was a sign to Shawn that Ian was giving things an effort. There was still an echo of the guilt he was feeling lurking in his dark eyes, but he was trying. It was a good start, anyways.


	36. 36

Jaffer's arrival into the kitchen just as Ian was putting the now mangled eggs onto a couple of plates was warning enough that Jack or Sam – or both – were up and stirring. A minute later it proved to be Jack, walking into the kitchen in sweats and bare feet and chest, looking incredibly rumpled and sleepy.

He nodded a greeting to the two of them, and went straight for the sliding glass door where Jaffer had gone after giving Ian and Shawn his own greetings. The lab went out for his morning check of the backyard and Jack shut the door and eyed the two plates of eggs and toast.

"Breakfast?"

"Are you hungry?"

"Is there coffee?"

They both shook their heads. Shawn didn't like coffee, and Ian was indifferent at best when it came to drinking the stuff. He'd just as leave have juice or milk.

"Milk."

Jack scowled, and looked over as Sam entered the kitchen. She was just as rumpled as Jack, but much prettier, even in a nightgown and robe.

"Good morning," she said, smiling as she walked over to join Jack, her arm sliding around his waist – although her attention was on Ian and Shawn.

"Morning, Sam." Shawn said, reaching for more bread.

"Good morning," Ian echoed. "Ready for breakfast?"

"You guys _cooked_?"

They shrugged, and Ian handed over one of the plates to Sam and the other to Jack.

"Juice or milk. No coffee, yet."

Since Sam had cut down on her coffee intake since getting pregnant – not completely _abdicating_ coffee, just drinking less – she didn't mind at all. She took the plate to the table and sat down.

"I'll have juice, please."

Jack sighed and joined her with the other plate.

"Me, too."

Ian started cooking more eggs for him and Shawn, while Shawn pulled the juice from the fridge.

"How did you guys know we were getting up?" Sam asked.

"We _are_ geniuses…" Ian said.

"Yeah."

Sam looked at them suspiciously.

"Meaning you were making your _own_ breakfast and we just have good timing?"

"Something like that."

She smiled, but since they were willing to hand over their breakfast, she was willing to eat it – although the eggs weren't the prettiest things she'd ever seen before. At least they weren't burnt, and the toast wasn't cold. She could eat this. And would.

OOOOOO

Before the next set of eggs and toast were finished, River made his own appearance, obviously pulled from his bed by the smell of breakfast. The Californian was wearing only pajama bottoms, his chest and arms deeply tanned even after the cold winter with no chance to work on it. What really drew their attention, though, were the pajamas, and Ian made a show of covering his eyes.

"Jesus, Hayden, sit down at the table and hide those pajamas before I go blind."

River started to flip him off, looked over at Sam and instead rubbed the side of his nose. With one middle finger.

Shawn smiled; glad to see that Ian was managing to retain his good humor. Ian looked over at him, caught the smile and brandished his spatula at the young Cadet before handing him both plates of breakfast.

"Take those to the table, boy, and sit down."

"You want one of them?"

"Nah. I'll make another for me. Go ahead and get started."

Shawn didn't argue. He walked over and set one of the plates in front of River and took the spot next to Jack while Ian started breaking yet more eggs into the pan. Jack got up long enough to let Jaffer into the house, then went back to his breakfast.

"What are you guys doing today?" Sam asked a few minutes later when Ian brought his plate over and joined them. She was finished eating, now, and was simply lounging at the table, watching everyone else eat and enjoying the relaxation of a quiet moment with the guys.

Jack looked at Ian, who had piled twice as much food on his plate as any of the others had had and was digging into it with enthusiasm.

"I suppose that depends on you…"

"Me?"

"On what you decide to do…"

Ian shrugged. What was the worst that could happen?

"I suppose it can't hurt to give it a try…" he said. "If you guys are willing to have me there."

Sam smiled, letting out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding, and Jack nodded.

"Good. I'll let Hammond know so he can get things rolling, and we'll get you transferred from the academy this morning."

"_If_ the Commandant says it's okay," Ian said, reminding Jack that the Commandant hadn't been all for the idea.

"You have a meeting with him, right?"

Ian nodded.

"Then _you_ can convince him that it's something you want to do, and Sam and I will convince him that it's something that _should_ be done. Deal?"

"I'll try."

Since they had gone through all the effort of trying to convince him, it was only fair he try to convince the Commandant. Of course, Ian wasn't all that sure what he was going to say, but he had a couple of hours to figure it out. In the meantime, he was going to eat before his eggs got cold and the butter on his toast congealed.

OOOOOO

Sam did the dishes. The guys didn't want to let her, but she tartly reminded them that she wasn't going to keel over dead if they allowed her to do a little housework, and sent them all off to get dressed and ready for the day. Especially River, whose pajama bottoms were starting to make her eyes water.

Since Ian had fallen asleep dressed and the jeans and shirt were already clean, he decided it wouldn't kill anything if he didn't bother to change into the clothes Sam had washed for him. Consequently, after a quick shave he was ready for his day long before the others, and he hung out in the kitchen, making comments about how much help he could be until Sam finally relented and let him dry for her.

They finished the dishes, and then Sam headed off to change as well, leaving Ian to put the dishes away. River walked in as he was finishing up, and the New Yorker hung up his towel and headed for the sliding glass door and the deck beyond it.

"Hey, Hayden. Come outside with me for a minute. I want to have a talk to you."


	37. 37

They walked outside onto the deck and Ian shut the sliding glass door behind him. This wasn't really a conversation he wanted anyone to hear. It was cold outside – especially since they were neither one wearing a jacket or shoes – but River didn't even gripe about it. He just leaned against the railing of the deck and waited to hear what Ian wanted, knowing that it was probably important – at least Ian thought it was.

"So… I'm going to be gone for a while…"

Well, that was probably the most _redundant_ thing he'd said in a long time. River nodded, though.

"Are you sure this is something you want to do?" He asked. "Even with the place of your own it still sounds like you'll be bored – even working with the O'Neill's."

"There's more to it than just the internship," Ian said, shrugging. "I can't really go into it too much, because it's classified and all that, but it might be something that I turn out to be good at. Who knows?"

River shrugged, too, but didn't ask what he was going to be doing. He figured he'd find out eventually. And Ian continued, knowing his roommate was freezing and not complaining about it.

"I need you to do me a favor."

"What's that?"

"Keep an eye on Shawn for me."

River smiled, bemused.

"He hardly needs my help, Ian. He did better on his finals than _I_ d-"

"I don't mean help him with his _homework_, dipshit," Ian said, scowling – although it wasn't the angry scowl River was used to seeing. This one was more annoyed than anything. "I want you to keep an eye on him – and let me know if there's anything odd going on."

"You mean someone picking on him?" River shook his head. "They all know better, now."

Ian shook his head.

"No, I know that." He and River had long since taught the underclassmen not to mess with Shawn, and the upperclassmen were learning that lesson as well – although it took longer for River and Ian to find acceptable ways to make sure they knew that getting at Shawn physically or mentally – meant going through his older roommates. Especially Ian, who didn't have River's patience and good nature. "What I want you to watch for is mood swings or depression. Stuff like that. If something's going on that you can't figure out, give me a call and I'll come. I'll get you my number as soon as I know what it is."

River nodded, although he wasn't sure exactly what Ian was talking about. He probably would if it came up, though – although he'd do his best to figure it out on his own. In the weeks that Shawn and River were in their room alone – while Ian was recovering from his gunshot wounds – the two of them had become rather close, so River would be able to tell if something was bothering Shawn. Probably even sooner than Ian would – although Ian seemed lately to almost be able to tell when someone was up to something and was usually there when it started to happen. There and ready to put it down with a sarcastic comment or a brooding glare. Which was all it usually took most days.

"If I see anything I can't figure out, I'll call you," he promised. "_Or_ if I need a place to bring a girl…"

Ian snorted, shaking his head, and allowing the change of subject.

"Moron. Why don't you settle on _one_ girl?"

"When there's so much of me to spread around?"

"I thought you were seeing Gina's sister…?"

"She went back to her old boyfriend," River said. "Something about me not being able to make up my mind about what I want…" He shrugged, as if to ask who could understand what women wanted. "And are you planning on taking Cassandra Fraiser to the Valentine's Day formal?"

Ian scowled. Maybe he shouldn't have allowed the change of subject after all.

"_Doctor_ Fraiser probably wouldn't approve."

"She's not the one who asked, though."

"Why don't _you_ send Cassandra a letter? See if she'd like you to take her?"

River shook his head.

"She doesn't want me to go with her – or she would have sent me the invitation in the first place. I don't know why you don't just take her. It's not like you're seeing anyone else or anything." Not that _that_ would have stopped River.

"Look…" Ian frowned. "Just watch Shawn for me, okay? And stay out of my love life."

"Or lack of it…"

"Yeah, whatever…"

OOOOOOOO

Sam stood near the sliding glass door, drinking a cup of hot tea and watching the two young men outside with a slight frown on her face. They weren't wearing coats, and they didn't have shoes on. Hadn't their mothers taught them _anything_? She wondered what they were discussing, but didn't get close enough to the glass to be able to hear what they were saying, instead just watching their body language to make sure they weren't arguing.

The two of them were so different. Like night and day – or maybe summer and winter. Ian being so dark and moody all the time – and with his dark hair and eyes, that seemed to fit him most days – while River was so warm and sociable that you couldn't help but smile when he came into a room. Different, all right, but not as different as they probably thought. Not when you saw them standing together like that.

"What are you watching?" Jack asked, coming over with Jaffer ambling next to him. He'd finished showering and had relinquished the bathroom to Shawn, who said he'd be ready in a few minutes.

"The boys."

Jack looked out the door and frowned.

"Are they arguing?"

"I don't think so. Ian's probably giving River a lecture about staying out of trouble or something." The New Yorker seemed to be doing more talking than River was.

"They don't have any shoes on."

She smiled; he'd noticed what she'd noticed and had reacted to it like she had. Disapproving. Yup, she was the pregnant one, but he was getting into _dad mode_ already.

"No jackets, either."

"So I see." He wrapped his arms around her for a quick hug, his hand resting lightly on her belly. "Are you coming with us to the academy? Or going to the base?"

She leaned against him, her back against his front, and her hand came down lightly on his.

"I'll go with you. Once Ian's talked to the Commandant, we'll see if we're needed, too, and then we can go help Daniel finish moving out if he needs it and get Ian settled in. You called Nathan?"

Jack nodded, kissed her on the cheek and let her go. The discussion on the deck was winding down it looked like, and he didn't want the cadets to think they'd been spying on them.

"Yeah. Nate's curious, but he said he'd wait until Ian called to grill him about what he's going to be doing."

"And the package?"

"It'll be coming with whatever the next Military flight that leaves New York heading this general direction."

Sam smiled.

"You think of everything, don't you?"

He shrugged, giving her an answering grin.

"I try."


	38. 38

"The Commandant will see you now, Mr. Brooks."

Ian nodded, and walked past the secretary's desk and into the office, where the Commandant was sitting at his desk, watching as he came in.

"You're out of uniform, Cadet."

The piercing glare that cowed all the cadets – _and_ any wrong-doing instructors – didn't have the same affect on Ian, who had grown up facing a far more intimidating scowl every day. But he _did_ respect the General, and when he stood at attention, it wasn't mocking.

"Yes, Sir. I'm sorry."

He hadn't known whether to change into a cadet's uniform or not, and had opted to stay in his jeans and t-shirt – although he _did_ have his jacket on, so he didn't look quite so bad.

The Commandant nodded, and gestured for him to sit down. Ian didn't know it, but the General was watching him far more intently than he thought, and was pleased to see that even in one evening the young man had managed to lose the majority of the haunted look in his expression – although it lingered slightly in his eyes. Aside from him being out of uniform – which wasn't _unforgivable_ – he looked much better than he had the day before.

"How are you feeling, Cadet?"

"Better than yesterday, Sir." Ian said, shrugging. He knew that was what the man wanted to hear – and besides, it was true.

The Commandant nodded.

"You look better."

He leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers as he studied Ian.

"You spoke to Cadet Adams?"

"Sir?"

The Commandant gave him a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Never make the mistake of thinking I don't know what's going on here, Ian." He admonished. "I know what was bothering you the most, and I want to know if you've spoken to Cadet Adams and talked it through with him."

Ian scowled, but he nodded.

"Yes, Sir. We've spoken."

"And you're sufficiently convinced that you aren't responsible for what happened to his parents?"

"I didn't say that."

It might have been what the Commandant _wanted_ to hear, but Ian wasn't going to lie to the man.

The General was silent, waiting for him to elaborate, since it was obvious that he'd come to some sort of conclusion – or he wouldn't look quite so at peace with himself.

"He's convinced me that _he_ doesn't hold me responsible."

"Which isn't the same as believing it yourself."

"No."

The Commandant watched him for another moment, but Ian didn't speak up. Instead, he sat in the chair, watching and waiting for the next question. Finally, the Commandant spoke again.

"Have you changed your mind about your decision to intern under Colonel O'Neill?"

Ian nodded.

"He and I discussed it, Sir. It sounds like an opportunity I shouldn't pass up."

"Even though it will pull you away from your studies for the rest of the academic year?"

Ian shrugged.

"With respect, Sir. I can catch up. I can _keep_ up, for that matter, if my teachers allow me to come by every now and thenand pick up the classwork. Major O'Neill isn't actually an instructor, but she _is_ a graduate of this Academy – and my classes aren't anything she hasn't seen before. She could answer any problems I have with the coursework."

Of course, his tone indicated that he didn't expect to have any such problems, but the Commandant didn't comment on that. It was clear the cadet had thought this through – at least that part of it.

"And do you intend to return the next school year, eager and ready to settle in here?"

"I'll return, Sir." Ian said. "Unless something unexpected comes up and I am physically unable to."

"You mean that?"

Ian nodded, giving the Commandant a wry smile.

"If I don't get a Commission, General, I'm never going to outrank my father. I'm too blunt to become a politician, so Commander in Chief is out. Which means a Military commission."

The Commandant actually smiled at that. Unbeknownst to Ian, he'd already received a call that morning from Nathan Brooks – who he was friends with – and had fielded several questions about Ian's possible transfer – however temporary – from the academy. Mainly, Nate had wanted to know if his son's grades were suffering because of the time lost to recovering from his injuries earlier, and the General had been pleased to hear that his son held the top place in the class – and most likely would, even if he was allowed to complete his school year away from the school.

"Is that your goal in life, Mr. Brooks?"

Ian shrugged.

"It will do until I find a better one, Sir."

The Commandant shook his head, thinking that maybe it _would_ be good for Ian to spend a bit of time with O'Neill. Jack definitely could give the boy some direction, at least, because Ian definitely was foundering if his only goal was for his father to have to salute him.

"I'm going to approve your transfer, Cadet – your _temporary_ transfer. I expect you to come by the academy once a week and pick up any assignments your instructors might have for you, and I'm going to also insist that you ask Captain Patrick for extra work every week. He seems to think you have the makings of a fine Engineer, and I want to see if he's right. Major O'Neill can help you with anything that you don't understand and can't bring back to the Captain for explanation."

Ian hesitated.

"I don't know if she's going to be willing to-"

"_I'll_ ask her, Cadet," He interrupted. "And _then_ I'll tell her that if _Jack_ wants you, she's going to have to let me have my few concessions, because otherwise I'm going to keep you here."

He smiled, because he knew exactly the look Colonel O'Neill would give Major O'Neill at that statement, and he knew Sam would sigh and roll her eyes, and then give in. And that was only if she were unwilling to assist Brooks – which he knew she wouldn't be.

Ian nodded. He was pretty sure Sam would help him – at least until she got closer to having the baby. By then, though, it would be close to the end of the school year, and he might not need the help.

"Yes, Sir."

"Go pack, Mr. Brooks. And tell your roommates you'll see them once a week when you check in."

Ian nodded and stood up, but the Commandant wasn't quite finished.

"I don't need to tell you that I expect you to be on your best behavior, do I?"

"No, Sir. I _know_ you do."

Which wasn't to say that he was going to do it, the Commandant noticed.

"If you need anything, call."

"Thank you, Sir."

Ian wasn't in uniform, but he saluted the General anyways, spun on his heel and left the office, breathing a sigh of relief as he did so. He wasn't positive that this was the smartest thing he'd ever done in his life, but he was pretty sure that it was important that he do it. And he was glad that the Commandant was making him return every week. Not because he could get classwork, but because he could check on Shawn on his own, now, too.

The best of both worlds.


	39. Epilogue

_**Epilogue**_

The convertible pulled up to the main gate of Cheyenne mountain, and to the amusement of the Marines there, they saw that the top was down – even though it was February 13th – and pretty much the coldest freaking day of the year so far. The young man behind the wheel didn't seem to mind the cold at all, though, and he stopped when the Sergeant of the guard waved for him to. Wearing a set of crisp BDUs and sunglasses – and no coat – he looked as if he thought it was the middle of summer.

Ian smiled, despite the annoyance at having the same motherfucker pull him to a stop every day for the last week and a half, and handed over his brand new clearance ID – stating his name (Ian Michael Brooks), his rank (Cadet) and his clearance level, which was as high as they came, giving him access to any part of Cheyenne Mountain that he wanted to go to.

"Good morning, Cadet Brooks," the Sergeant told him, returning Ian's salute.

"Good morning, Sergeant."

The Sergeant looked at the ID, even though he'd seen it the morning before, and handed it back to Ian.

"You may pass, Cadet."

"Thank you."

Ian put the car in gear and waited for the Corporal who was on guard duty with the Sergeant open the gate, then drove through. Stupid bastards. Eventually they'd get tired of stopping him every day, he was sure. Probably just trying to teach him who was in charge around there. He snorted, and drove into the parking lot, spotting Jack's truck in its spot and pulling Sam's convertible into the spot that was labeled Major O'Neill. Yet another perk of driving her car, he thought smugly as he raised the top and rolled the windows up, then got out of the car and headed for the entrance to the SGC.

Several checkpoints later, he found himself coming out of the elevator and heading for Jack's office, feeling a thrill of excitement that he just couldn't suppress. Today was going to be his first trip offworld – his first _official_ trip as a member of SG-1 – and he was stoked, as River would have said.

He'd actually been with the SGC for a week and a half now, but the first week had been setting up and getting him used to the way things worked around the base – including introducing him to the members of various other SG teams and the personnel that supported those teams, showing him the parts of the base that he hadn't yet seen, and acclimating him to the schedule, which was much different than the one at the Academy.

He was also given a physical by Janet Fraiser, who wasn't really all that happy with him, since he'd finally decided that he'd take Cassandra to her Valentines' Formal – which had made Cassie happy, and Janet immediately suspicious. She'd been polite, but barely civil, which had annoyed Ian, who had no intention of doing anything that Janet wouldn't approve of. He couldn't blame her for wanting to protect her daughter, but she had taken to giving him suspicious looks every time he was near her, and while she didn't intimidate him any more than anyone else did, it was getting old.

One thing that had pleased and surprised Ian had happened the very first day he'd gone to the SGC. A relatively small box had been delivered to him by Jack, personally, who told him it was from Nathan. Curious, Ian had opened it and found his the Glock he'd liberated (_stolen_ wasn't nearly as nice sounding) from Major Clay – the guy who had been in charge of the team that had kidnapped he and his roommates from the academy so many months before. Along with it were two boxes of ammunition for the weapon – something that Nathan had to have gone and purchased for Ian, because he knew he hadn't had ammunition for the gun when he'd sent it home with his father.

Ian had looked at the gun, and then at Jack.

"What-?"

"I told Nate you might need your gun," Jack had explained. "Actually, what I told him was that if it was going to become your _primary_ weapon, then you'd better have it here where you can learn to shoot with it instead of a smaller caliber handgun. I told him it was for target practice – although I'm pretty sure he didn't believe me. He sent it out on the next flight."

Ian had smiled and checked the action. His father had obviously oiled it and prepared it for him as well, because the weapon was in perfect condition. Jack handed him a sidearm holster and told Ian that he'd better keep track of it, because he didn't want to have to go ask Major Clay where he'd gotten it so it could be replaced.

Ian had simply grinned, and nodded. And Jack and Teal'c had taken him to the range that morning to make sure he knew how to fire it – and to make sure he could qualify with other weapons that he'd need to use offworld that they knew he hadn't used before. A P-90, for example, as well as giving him a chance to fire Teal'c's staff weapon – although Ian had told them that Bra'tac had already taught him to use one. Sure enough, he proved more than competent with the staff weapon – although he wouldn't carry one – and quickly managed to kill several paper targets with a P-90. The Glock wasn't a problem, nor were the rifles that they'd tried him out with. Ian had been raised by a Special Forces officer, who had a brother who enjoyed hunting. What Nathan hadn't taught him, his Uncle Ray had.

He was ready to go offworld, now they just needed a mission.

OOOOOO

Jack looked up when Ian knocked on the door, and waved him in.

"Hey! How's the hand?"

Ian scowled, and looked down at his hand – which he'd burnt putting out the kitchen fire he'd started the morning before.

"It's fine."

"You can hold a weapon?"

"Of course."

"Good. Let's go join the others."

They headed for the door, and Ian looked around for Jaffer.

"He's with Sam," Jack told him. "She's a bit nervous this morning, and he does a better job of calming her down than I do sometimes."

"Nervous because of the mission?"

Jack nodded, "Not only is it _your_ first time through the gate on a mission, but it's her first time _not_ coming with us, and it has her edgy. So if she keeps double-checking with you to make sure you have everything, be nice, okay?"

"Of course."

Like he'd be anything but when it came to Sam?

"Sure your hand's okay?"

"Are you _double-checking_ me, Jack?" Ian asked, smiling slightly. Maybe Sam wasn't the only one nervous this morning?

O'Neill scowled, realizing what Ian meant immediately, and shook his head.

"I'm your commanding officer – it's my job."

He smiled, though, and slapped Ian on the back as the two headed for the briefing room. This was going to be an adventure, all right.

**The End!**

_Author's Note: Okay! So, obviously that's the end of this story – and a beginning to another. Let me know what you think of this one, huh? My posting will undoubtedly slow down a bit the next few days, because my vacation ends tonight. Sigh. The next one will start soon, I promise!_


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